“Hey Spiderman! You either managed to find the last nurse in North America to wear a skirt on the job since the ’70s, or you’re talking to a themed stripper.” –Peter of the Norse
“Peter has found a way to be useful which requires him sitting on a comfy chair without taking active actions. This is the best day of his life!” –Ettore
“You’d think Baxter Bat would be the one solving all these mysteries, since the solution is always printed right-side-up from his point-of-view.” –Duke of Earl Grey
“And the coffee pot never tells the truth! You may ask ONE question.” –Windier E. Megatons, on Twitter
“We can assume Jeffy is the one trying to use a sled on level ground.” –nescio
“Take it down a notch with the one up-man-ship, Coach. It’s polite convo over dinner prep, not the Debate Team Shout Offs or what have you.” –Tonya
“There actually was a Puerto Rican ballplayer named Jorge Padilla; he was a right fielder for the Washington Nationals in 2009. Meanwhile, a woman named Paloma Padilla acted in a short Mexican horror film called Sexxxion Premium, which could explain her anger.” –BigTed
“I can’t help but like Wilbur, especially in today’s comic where I imagine he’s strutting through an empty park while quietly singing the Bee Gees’ ‘Staying Alive’ to himself.” –Escape Zeppelin
“I guess Camp Swampy is backwards enough that they were assigned a phrenologist as the camp’s doctor. Killer should be happy; I’m sure at least one of those bumps will improve his chances with the ladies.” –Dr. Dread
“IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE OF ALL THE CONCUSSIONS!” –Lorne
“Although the choice of a manual-transmission pickup, the uninterrupted diet of RC Cola and Moon Pie, and the callous dismissal of common-sense precautions in the operation of a motor vehicle all help to identify the lifestyle of the driver, what is really telling is the vanity license plate PLUGR. Pluggers have a very low bar of ‘vanity,’ and they can’t spell.” –seismic-2
“‘The history of every war ever fought’ sounds like a fun topic for elementary school history. Are they doing it in chronological order (maybe starting with the Kish-Elam War between rival Sumerian states, or the Nubia Campaign of Pharaoh Hor-Aha), or alphabetical order (jumping from the 9th century Abbasid Civil War to post-Soviet Abkahzian War to the British Empire’s Abyssinian War, all the way to the Zulu War and the Mongolian Zunghar Invasion)? Either way, learning the history of these wars seems pretty open-ended. Elmo will probably have to start learning about the Syrian Civil War by studying the Sunni-Shia schism of 632, but maybe the nice teacher will let him off easy and begin with Sykes-Picot in 1916.” –Schroduck
“Oh, sure. Pluggers multitask behind the wheel and everyone’s raving about how quaint and clever they are. I play Pokemon Go while driving one time, and everyone’s all, ‘Keep your eyes on the road!’ and ‘That man had a family, you monster!’” –JJ48
“I, for one, am very much looking forward to finding out how Jimmy Buffet managed to claim the title of King of the Moon.” –pugfuggly
“I’d like to think that Thel is straight-up changing PJ on the kitchen counter while Jeffy apparently prepares to do his duty down the basement steps.” –lumaca morente
“That’s a guy he’s grabbing in panel 2 and a woman in panel 3. The Lizard will go amok, taking pulses of the entire hospital staff, and revealing this information out loud, in clear violation of HIPAA.” –Hogenmogen
“Yes, Wilbur, Dawn’s history of pursuing extremely unhealthy yet strangely asexual relationships with much older men certainly speaks to what a wonderful job you’ve done as a father.” –Aphthakid
“Roz has always been drawn as incredibly buxom, almost as lovingly detailed as Aunt Fritzi. I assume there is an audience for this type of thing.” –Rusty
“If you are trying to convince me that holding ostrich races with monkey jockeys would be a bad idea, you have failed, Mark Trail.” –Dread
