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Gasoline Alley, 11/24/15

“The turkey — ’cause it’s had all its organs removed and replaced with bread crumbs! Gobble! Gobble! I’m a walking corpse! Gobble! Gobble!” [audience continues roaring with laughter]

Judge Parker, 11/24/15

I’ve never read the Fountainhead, but this is pretty much what I imagine all the sex scenes are like.

Archie, 11/24/15

Oh, do you think these Archie newspaper comics are just endlessly recycled reruns from the 1990s? Well, what about the dead-eyed teen girl in panel three with the current year on her shirt, huh? Checkmate, doubter!

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Hey guys! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done any updating here about my novel, mostly because all the things I have to do to make the book happen are (finally!) out of my hands and now I’m waiting on other folks, not all of whom can give me specific information just yet. Here’s things as I am reasonably sure they stand now, but please note that all of this is SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

• I’ve received the proof from the printer and signed off on it. The printer has said that the books should be printed and shipped by December 4th. This date is not set in stone, however!
• Assuming the books are shipped by that date, I’ll send out surveys to backers as soon I hear that they’ve gone out. The books should arrive within a week at Make That Thing in Massachusetts. Backers who have replied to the surveys within that timeframe will have their books shipped out right away. Everyone will also get a link to download the ebook at that time. If you backed my Kickstarter but haven’t used that site in a while, please log in to make sure your email address on file there is current, because that’s how I’ll be communicating with you. (Don’t worry about your mailing address; the point of the survey is to get that info from you. But I need to have your email address to get you the survey!)
• At the same time, Make That Thing will set up a storefront where those who haven’t backed the Kickstarter can buy the book, and we should be able to do about a week of sales that will ship in time for Christmas. So if you were planning on getting someone a copy of this book as a gift, keep planning on it! I’ll be doing a huge sales push on the blog when this is happens, obviously.
• Backers who don’t get their surveys in on time will still get their books, of course, but not until after January 1.
• Meanwhile, on the West Coast, I’m having a launch party for the book at the Los Angeles County Store in Silver Lake at 6 p.m. on December 15th!

  

  The printer is sending a limited number of copies via air delivery to Los Angeles, so even if the ship date slips a bit past the 4th, this party will still happen and you’ll be able to buy a book there. If you’d like to save time, you can even pre-order a hardcover or softcover in advance, to be picked up at the event. I’ll sign copies for everyone who comes; if you’re a Kickstarter backer, your copy probably won’t have arrived yet, but I’ll have some cool book plates (designed by cover artist Matt Lubchansky) that I’m happy to sign for you, and you can stick yours in your book when it arrives.

And that’s about the size of it! But it could all change! Due to circumstances beyond my control! Thanks so much for your patience; I’m having a bit of anxiety about the timing in regards to having a period where people can buy books for Christmas, but rest assured that backers will get their books and everyone else will be able to buy books very soon, if not before December 25th then not long after the first of the year.

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Hi and Lois, 11/23/15

Awww, looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays, if by “a case of the Mondays” you mean “a nagging realization that life is an joyless cycle of repetitive, meaningless tasks.” I think that’s what most people mean by it, right?

B.C., 11/23/15

B.C., meanwhile, reminds us that the Flagstons’ middle-class suburban ennui is itself a privilege, as many others see life not as a ceaseless loop of drudgery but a straight line that will be ending very, very soon.

Gasoline Alley, 11/23/15

That goodness, all that rude chatter is over and we can get what we came for: little kids telling weird ahistoric jokes on stage. Are the “!”s over our young Squanto and Pilgrim meant to represent solid, emotive method acting on their part, or are they genuinely surprised at Boog’s punchline? Is he improvising? Can you imagine children doing an improv Thanksgiving show? I can! It’d probably look a lot like this, to be honest. Maybe Walt and Skeezix missed the audience suggestions because they came in late.

Mark Trail, 11/23/15

Welp, seems like our no-neck Homeland Security goons had been following Ken and Mark all along by using drones to track Ken’s sweet skullmobile! They just figured they’d let our heroes take out the baddies on their own, without government agents getting involved unless absolutely necessary. They provide a better value to the taxpayer that way, you know?

Spider-Man, 11/23/15

Whoa there, random U.N. General Assembly delegate! You may come from a country with cool hats, but this is America and we don’t use imperious language like “Guards! Seize him!” Try some American law enforcement lingo instead. “Security, we need you to apprehend an Atlantean individual, behind the podium at this time. Suspect is weilding a trident-style weapon and is wearing a vest, repeat, vest.”