Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 4/1/16

Remember when Cindy was fired from her job as a TV news anchor by her boss, who explicitly told her she was too old for her job, which should have invited a completely justified lawsuit which in turn would’ve ensured that she would never have to work a day in her life again? But instead she meekly slunk off and took a job for a “blog” (?), where she openly insults her co-workers. Now it’s also pretty clear that she’s bad at journalism! Probably her boss at the TV station could have fired her for any number of non-actionable reasons, is what I’m trying to say.

Gasoline Alley, 4/1/16

Having finally, at long last, run out of scrapbook material, Gasoline Alley is transitioning into a gritty, violent prison drama. It almost makes too much sense, if you think about it.

Post Content

Judge Parker, 3/31/16

It’s Sam’s smug little smile that really sells this strip for me. “These plebes are crushed by medical debt and they still can’t bring themselves to grift my family, the most unlikeable group of rich assholes in town! The revolution is still years off.”

Marvin, 3/31/16

or maybe

you being a dog and all

Post Content

Crock, 3/30/16

Crock may be the only comic that I’ve antagonized so much that they felt a need to do a genuinely mean-spirited strip about me, but at least I am familiar with long-running Crock jokes and traditions, which is more than I can say for the people paid actual money to help produce it for publication. Captain Preppy, for instance, is an egomaniac who likes to gaze at himself in a handheld mirror while talking about how great he is. This is well-established Crock canon. Yet somebody looked at a black-and-white version of today’s strip and said, “He’s a holding a corndog, right? Looks like a corndog. Let’s check out the dialogue in panel two. ‘Boy, am I lucky.’ Yep, that’s the sort of thing that someone holding a corndog would say. God, I wish I had a corndog right now! Anyway, paintcan tool, pick corndog brown off the color chart, bloop, bloop, bloop. Done! On to Curtis! Wonder what he’s eating.”

Judge Parker, 3/30/16

Haha, Mrs. Chubb folded immediately after like 30 seconds of fairly mild questioning from Sam. Just goes to show that if you’re going to run a sordid fake-accident-injury scam, do not enlist as your accomplice a woman for whom pearls are part of her casual, lounging-around-the-house wear. She will be far too classy to commit.

Archie, 3/30/16

Jesse Ventura ran for governor in 1998, which I guess offers some solid evidence for when the current run of Archie strips were originally written. I certainly hope that nobody was misled by this strip into thinking that Greco-Roman wrestling was a flashy, high-profile road to fame and eventual political glory.

Mary Worth, 3/30/16

“Hmm, what should I wear for my first day of class? I know: pants, a suit jacket, and a vest, all precisely the same shade of green!” –A guy who thinks about art and aesthetics, like, professionally