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Marmaduke, 1/6/13

Since the dawn of time, mankind has wondered: is there any creature more powerful than Marmaduke, our awful tormentor, who rules over this plane of existence with gore-drenched fangs? Today’s strip suggests intriguing possibilities. Who is this mysterious creature, this “intruder” that we never get a clear look at, who is rummaging through Marmaduke’s exterior death-temple? How does it command the powers of lightning to repel Marmaduke’s attack without the two beings ever coming into contact? Does this entity represent a possible ally for terrified humanity in its struggle against its awful Marmadukean overlord, or will we puny mortals merely suffer as collateral damage in the struggle between the two infinitely powerful hell-beasts?

Judge Parker, 1/6/13

The ultimate Judge Parker strip: The Parker family stands around their well-appointed kitchen, marveling at an enormous check.

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Marvin, 1/5/13

Marvin is still going all-out with the poop jokes in 2013, in case you’re wondering! Though I think that this might be a first (or at least rare) instance of the strip actually using a variation of the word “poop” in the strip itself. (I was going to go back through my archives looking for varyingly explicit words for feces in the nationally syndicated comic strip Marvin, but then I remembered that I had this last shred of dignity that I was planning on hanging on to for at least another few weeks.)

Anyway, this week’s Marvin has involved Marvin and Bitsy getting stuck outside in a snowstorm, presumably while Marvin’s family celebrates his absence at a fancy restaurant. I’ve been rooting all along for this plot to reach its seemingly obvious dog-eats-baby conclusion, but the crafty Marvin has bought himself some time by making the prospect as disgusting as possible.

Herb and Jamaal and Shoe, 1/5/13

Sorry, Shoe! Herb and Jamaal has won today’s “Hey, I heard a corny old joke from a friend or maybe had it forwarded to me via e-mail, let’s see how awkward it would be turned into comic strip dialogue” contest, and by a substantial margin.

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Happy Friday, friends! This has been a weird, short week, but fear not, we are still here for you with a comment of the week:

“I like that fact that, even in the moments before she’s getting stabbed with a frog-poison tipped arrow, the narrator in Curtis refers to the evil witch as Ms. Yahna. I guess it’s in the same style the Wall Street Journal refers to Mr. Hussein and Ms. Bathory. Respect: it’s not an official principle of Kwanzaa, but it’s nice to see it anyway.” –Voshkod

And some very funny runners up!

“I find Dolly and Billy married — and even Dolly giving birth to PJ — more believable and less nauseating than Jeffy as a wise man.” –Dan

“After a week of staring at that previous Heathcliff strip, I was so thankful for a new post that would mean not having to see Heathcliff spank mice at the top. Sadly, that seems like a more innocent time now.” –Pandrew

“For once, the goggle-eyed horror makes sense. ‘That outfit? But … Holy shit, I’m BUCK NAKED!!'” –Spunde

“We are all glossing over the main point in Mary Worth, which is that Santa Royale not only has a cake design contest, but it has a prestigious cake design contest, and also a cake design contest that has been captured on easily accessible video.” –Chris B

“What really gets me about shoe is the moon out the window. They have been drinking long enough for the moon to rise midway through the sky. I’d like to think they had all been sitting in silence, staring at nothing, until he blurted out his tragic story.” –Holly Folly

“Man, I kind of want to see the no-holds-barred cage match happening between Mary Worth’s writer and artist. ‘It’s a beauty-of-nature cake contest!’ ‘Cakes are pink and frosted, or nothing at all!’ ‘I’ll kill you, picture fiend!’ ‘Not if I kill you first, word mangler!'” –bunivasal

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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