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Goodness, is it comment of the week time already? Yes, yes it is.

“I have often wished I could produce an exclamation point in a balloon over my head. This is, in fact, Spider-man’s only actual superpower.” –Crankenstank

Also time for the runners up!

“I can’t wait to see Mary’s expression when he reveals his plan: a 5 foot tall cake crafted perfectly in her image, wearing nothing but a few well-placed fig leaves. ‘That’s the nature’ part, he’ll explain, his eyes intense but emotionless.” –pugfuggly

“You hope the ceiling is lead-lined? Trust me, it’s not. This is the Funkyverse! Think ‘asbestos.'” –sporknpork

“I think I know how this storyline of Mary Worth ends. Mary and John stand in the kitchen, pistols in hand, aiming at each other over a range of about six feet (Mary is, of course, holding her pistol gangster-style, like a proper lady). The kitchen is covered with dirty mixing bowls, frosting litters the walls. Their clothes are white with flour and powdered sugar. Their fingers twitch on the triggers. Mary narrows her eyes. A dove coos softly from the windowsill. And then the oven timer rings.” –Voshkod

“I think the last panel of Gil looking introspective and in deep thought would be awesome without the dialogue bubble; he’s got that ‘thinking man pose atop a throne of skulls in Hell’ look about him that would be awesome to airbrush onto the side of a van.” –Jon the Red

“If slumping on a couch drinking wine counts as ‘working,’ then I really need to rethink my understanding of this country’s unemployment crisis.” –Legend of the Arctic

“This is my ward, Rusty. We call him ‘Rusty’ because of the specific way he repeatedly injures himself, and ‘Tetanus Shot’ was too long.” –Sock Puppet

MW: “I have never before seen anyone pick up a cake by simply sticking one’s hand underneath it and lifting it up whole, and I have never before seen anyone pick up a freshly baked and steaming anything without a pot holder or an oven mitt. But then, I have never before seen a cake made out of meat, either. Ah, the beauty of nature!” –seismic-2

“How’s my favorite guide? Are you still leading gullible tourists from the city out into the middle of nowhere where you can kill and rob them?” –Liam

“I like it that they call dumping dissidents in a lake an ‘interment camp.'” –Comrade Denny

“What really gets me is that Sam is looking at crudely-sketched pictures of windows, intently trying to determine what they are. When he lays his eyes on a crudely-sketched picture of whatever Neddy bought, it will surely drive him into madness.” –Ben Ferber

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Heathcliff, 1/18/13

I am seriously puzzled about just what exactly Heathcliff’s puppet-thing is supposed to be. The holes (or are they just black dots?) and the general shape and the proximity to mice remind me of a stereotypical wedge of cartoon Swiss cheese that the colorists have misjudged into greenness. But perhaps not? Maybe it’s some sort of weird makeshift sponge-puppet? I’m a little resentful about the ambiguity, because it’s distracting me from the delightful main point of the strip, which is that Heathcliff rules the local mice as a brutal dictator, demanding not just that they obey him in deed, but that they love him, deep in their souls. Heathcliff’s second-rate ventriloquist antics are in fact an elaborate test of loyalty. The two unhappy mice in the back of the queue here will soon be reported by informers to his brutal Happiness Police.

Judge Parker, 1/18/13

Judge Parker’s seems to be on the verge of a new plot that will test the philosophical boundaries of its own fictional universe. Specifically, it will answer the question we’ve all wondered about: is there a sum of money so large that it can, when spent, actually have a noticeable effect on the balance sheet of the Spencer-Driver clan? Keep in mind that Neddy, Sam and Abbey’s daughter, is a college student, and yet today’s strip reveals that she has her own private banker. One assumes that, in order for this to even get on her parents’ radar, these “large withdrawals” involved a fleet of armored trucks guarded by elite French special forces troops.

Dick Tracy, 1/18/13

Wow, it turns out I my interpretation of Lake Freedom’s significance was all wrong! Because it turns out that underneath Lake Freedom there’s an internment camp. That’s symbolism, guys, symbolism about America, really makes you think, hmm?

Spider-Man, 1/18/13

Sometimes conventional law enforcement in the Newspaper Spider-Man world is also super-incompetent, probably mostly to make Spidey feel better about himself.

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Mark Trail, 1/17/13

So it turns out that literally everyone in this bass fishing storyline is going to have a painfully obvious name or nickname. “Let me tell you about my friend Bluegill. We started calling him that because he caught a bunch of Bluegill! A bluegill is a kind of fish, in case you’re wondering.” “Neat,” says Rusty, at a loss for any other way to respond to this incredibly banal anecdote. Later: “Bluegill, this is my ward Rusty! When I told him how you came to be called Bluegill, he said ‘Neat.'” “Well, isn’t that something? I think we’ll call you ‘Neat’ from now on, young man. How’d you like that nickname, Neat?” “But ‘Rusty’ is already a nickname! My real name is–” “Hush now, Neat, you’re scaring the fish with all your jibber jabber.”

Momma, 1/17/13

“Haha, yes, we’ve all had some good fun with the cross-generational misunderstanding of technological terminology, but Francis really is passed out on the sofa in parlor. I think he’s drunk, or maybe dead?”