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Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/9/12

You know, I guess it’s OK for Slylock Fox to go around imposing arbitrary, unchecked justice when he’s putting a stop to actual crimes or whatever. But now it appears that he’s just wandering the land looking for opportunities to be a dick by preventing a little intra-posse tomfoolery. And why is he even assuming that Reeky’s friends are being scammed? Isn’t it possible that they know full well that Reeky means to do 1,000 pushups over a series of days or weeks, but, well, maybe they just want Reeky to do some exercise once in a while, ever think of that? Maybe they want him to improve his health, and that’s worth $10 to them, because Reeky’s their friend. God, Slylock, keep your snout out of other people’s business!

I also dispute that Reeky’s pals are in any way “punks.” Neither of them seem to be cultivating any kind of aesthetic that seeks to shock or undermine bourgeois values in the slightest! Reeky’s pink hair might qualify, maybe, but today that’s pretty tame.

Six Chix, 9/9/12

The look of shock and horror on this poor dog’s face is amazing. “Wait, they’re … they’re alive, and they’re inside of me? And they’re coming out where? And I’m expected to feed them how? Oh god oh god oh god”

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Family Circus, 9/8/12

Oh, God, something horrible happened outside, didn’t it? Those aren’t the faces of little kids who were having some fun out in the yard; those expressions are of illness and queasy terror. And then there’s Dolly, standing in the doorway, staring at them, marking their words. “Are they telling Mommy? They were specifically ordered not to tell Mommy. They know the punishment for telling Mommy: More mud pies. More mud pies. You don’t know the meaning of the word ‘filling,’ Jeffy.”

Apartment 3-G, 9/8/12

Hey, everyone, the Professor’s back! Back from … I dunno, did he go somewhere? I guess he did, they made a big deal out of his return earlier this week. Anyway, now he and Greg are bonding over their shared heritage, which seems to be causing a stone-faced Margo to vibrate with hostility in the final panel. Is she about to unleash a series of vicious anti-Greek ethnic slurs that will result in her being forever blackballed by the cabal of Hellenes who pull the strings of New York’s PR industry?

Wizard of Id, 9/8/12

The moral of today’s Wizard of Id: Don’t be lured into complacency by the false promise of nonviolent agitation for radical change! Violent expropriation of the rich’s wealth is the only path to successful class war.

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Guys, your comments of the week are coming shortly, but first: You may remember back when I quit my job that in addition to insanely declaring that I would write a book I also insanely declared that I would be doing live comedy shenanigans? Well, it’s true, I am doing them! I will be part of a couple of shows in the Baltimore area in the next few weeks. Here are the details! Come, it will be funny, promise!

And now, your comment of the week:

“‘It’s a more economical way of getting dressed in the morning?’ queried the Krakthor, shifting its squat, bulbous features underneath the hideous man-disguise so that the head-front would resemble human curiosity.” –bunivasal

And the runners up! Very funny!

“So help me, at first I thought the joke was that Teresa Mae’s husband was having a baby himself, given his position. I mean, it’d probably be best if his feet were in stirrups, but those require precious iron to manufacture.” –Spyglass

“And speaking of experiments that didn’t work, how about we agree that we’re both still heterosexual?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Jughead’s got that ‘letter to the editor’ face going on.” –sporknpork

“My day, as I had planned it: focus on some upcoming deadlines at work; enjoy some music on the commute home; spend some time with the kids; get my news fix watching the convention. My day as it is actually going to happen: dwell obsessively on the fact that Jamaal’s pants are hanging open.” –Nekrotzar

“Then again, maybe her junior high picture reminds her of a happier time in her life, before she gave birth to The Omen.” –Digger

“Chip was probably asking what band it is, but whatever. ‘This is called an audio recording, son. We used to use them to duplicate sound.'” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Don’t cut your hair like Moe Howard, dear,’ is what Mrs. Worth should be saying to Dawn instead of prattling on and on about the hospital.” –Baka Gaijin

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.