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Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/2/12

Oh, Slylock, I just don’t get you! You’ve always shown that you have nearly unlimited powers to arrest and jail anybody you want based on even the flimsiest of circumstantial evidence. So now that you’ve caught the Wolf red-pawed, why are you going for this clever/wimpy put-salt-in-the-ice-cube-tray-so-the-water-won’t-freeze business? Perhaps he’s hoping that, by causing the Wolf’s plan to fail for reasons he won’t be able to comprehend, he’ll break the villain psychologically and leave him putty in the hands of law enforcement. Or maybe Slylock just doesn’t trust Max to do anything? That seems likely.

Beetle Bailey, 9/2/12

“Made the men eat frazzle fern” sounds like a nonsense placeholder phrase that was put into the dialogue with the intention of replacing it with something that was funny and made sense but then nobody did that because, it’s just Beetle Bailey, you know? And General Halftrack’s theatrical “Hmmmm”ing is drawn out about two panels too long. Still, though, Miss Buxley’s sad face in panel two as she muses on the web of emotional lies she’s been ordered into will haunt me for days.

Family Circus, 9/2/12

I love how sad Billy looks in the final panel as he imagines his inevitable transformation into a goody-goody adult. “God, way to be a suck-up chump, future me!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/2/12

WARNING: THREAT LEVEL ALPHA, JUNE MORGAN TO SPEND NEXT WEEK TRYING ON BIKINIS

(Happy Labor Day, everybody! I will probably have Monday’s post up sometime Monday evening, or maybe Tuesday morning. See ya then!)

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Apartment 3-G, 9/1/12

After enduring a comical series of interruptions, Greg Cooper finally gets the interruption he wants: the hot roommate! Yes, transparently angling for a three-way with your new publicist is totally 100% professional behavior for a … guy who … needs a publicist … and has a “manager” … and … uh … have we ever figured out exactly what it is that Greg does? Is he a handsome actor or maybe a literary bad boy? If so, this could all be part of the marketing plan, with Margo leaking word of his inappropriate advances to the press to cover up his boring, monogamous personal life.

It’s also worth noting that Greg wasn’t wearing a tie at the beginning of this meeting. He knows the way to a lady’s heart, or possibly to multiple ladies’ hearts: dapperness.

Gil Thorp, 9/1/12

We here at the Comics Curmudgeon would like to sincerely apologize for using linguistic markers to misidentify the Irish family in Gil Thorp as English; we realize that this is rather rude, for obvious reasons. Anyway, we would now like to revise the joke about what weirdo sports this family will demand from the Milford athletic department to include hurling and Gaelic handball.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/1/12

“Haw haw, I do enjoy a good bit of wordplay! But seriously, my baby is going to be born into abject poverty due to my husband’s shiftlessness.”

Beetle Bailey, 9/1/12

OH MY GOD THEY CLONED GENERAL HALFTRACK

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As you head into your Labor Day weekend, enjoy this COTW, won’t you?

“The Keane kids have to see who’s going to be chosen in this year’s family vote to be sacrificed for the harvest. There’s a lot of talk around Billy, but I wouldn’t count out PJ yet.” –pugfuggly

Also, enjoy this hilarious runners up!

“Pluggers don’t live in places that have 500-page Yellow Pages books. I call shenanigans.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“When yo’ mama sits around the Internet, she sits around the Internet … like on all the websitses … ’cause there’s so many of ’em … I’ll come in again.” –Ian Beste

“Rusty’s just phoning in his stupidity. ‘Some bad guys I’ve never seen before were just menacing me. Oh, look, that formerly abandoned house now appears to be occupied. It would be a good idea for me to see who’s there now.’ Doesn’t he care enough to put more effort than that into getting into peril?” –Randy

“The soil is especially rich [in LoFo], thanks to the remains of all the rotting criminals tied to trees and forgotten over the past few decades. (The Indian burial ground, where Rusty finds old arrowheads, is just a couple of miles from the criminal mulching ground, where Rusty finds old sideburns.)” –Shrug, Speaker to Spam

“I’ve done it! I’ve finally seen a Barney Google strip where none of their hideous tongues are flopping out of their skulls. I am free!” –zaratustra

“RIP Mary Worth … She is dead in that panel, right?” –sporknpork

“I think I see what’s happened here. Wilbur has been set free. He’s got a new column as a dashing adventure-blogger, a world traveler who delights us with his witty observations and scrapes with disaster. Sort of a prosciutto-stuffed Bill Bryson. Meanwhile Mary has become a freelance-drone, hunched over the keyboard trying to turn content on deadline, probably as a click bait to the paper’s erstwhile sponsors. We’re talking a bold new direction here, and papers across the country will now be invited to carry bold new storyline comic The Wilbs, designed to appeal to the male 60+ balding overweight loner demographic, who coincidentally are the only people actually reading newspapers nowadays. It will run next to Pluggers.” –geekwhisperer

“The ‘first ballot’ thing may be a Hall of Fame voting reference, since the kids are playing baseball. This also might explain once and for all the freakishly oversized heads of the Keane kids: they’ve taken steroids, the better with which to humiliate their schoolyard sports opposition.” –Windier E. Megatons

“I liked Dawn better when she moped all the time. And I hated her then.” –debussy fields

“Who owns a suit in Hootin’ Holler? Anyone with a shovel and the ability to dig 6 feet down.” –Chareth Cutestory

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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