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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/23/12

Some jokes never get old. This isn’t one of them.

Crock, 3/23/12

But all jokes are improved by adding “pants” to the punchline. Try it yourself: replace “grenades” with “pants”, and see what happens!

Dinette Set, 3/23/12

If you like a punchline a lot, follow the lead of professional comedian Jay Leno and say it again! The same rule applies to setups, right?

Family Circus, 3/23/12

Dolly reads the fairy tales so her siblings won’t have to, and adds hilarious commentary of her own! You’ll be hearing from our lawyers, Dolly.

Judge Parker, 3/23/12

Sam Driver descends on the scene like a WASP Archangel, enwhitening all who gaze upon him. Check it out:

Judge Parker (panels, edited), 3/11, 3/18, 3/23/12

Next: Monique Zatari — albino assassain!

Spider-Man, 3/23/12

It’s good to see Tinky-Winky’s still got work, but Thor’s gonna regret waking up that other guy. “Occupy Asgard — gods are the 1%!”

Just a reminder that there are no Comments of the Week on my watch — look for them when Josh gets back Monday.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/22/12

See, it’s just like the 1914 Flanders Christmas Truce, but with colorful accents, obesity, and th’ diabetuss.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/22/12

Bull, dear, you were scouted by the St. Louis Cardinals, not “the then” St. Louis Cardinals. Believe it or not, they were called “the St. Louis Cardinals” only during their years in St. Louis (1960 – 1987), so there’s no risk of confusion with any “before” or “after” St. Louis Cardinals. If you need to rule out the baseball team, just add “NFL” or “football.” But otherwise, please — it’s a language; people use it to communicate. Show some care with it.

Now if Les were a real friend, he’d help Bull relive his glory days by pointing out his error at great length — with helpful examples, a diagram or two, and maybe a condescending little smirk. Then Bull could pound his ass like back in the day, go home, bang Linda, and enjoy his best night’s sleep in twenty-five years.

Spider-Man, 3/22/12

Utterly ineffective against Loki and now immobilized, Spider-Man’s gonna spectate the hell out of this battle. It’s like a dream come true!

Marvin, 3/22/12

If he’s sitting on the comics page, I dread tomorrow’s strip.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Beetle Bailey, 3/21/12

Amos Halftrack, aspirational onanist.

Judge Parker, 3/21/12

Nuzzling, not muzzling!

Blondie, 3/21/12

Dagwood Bumstead, Siri’s bitch.

Curtis, 3/21/12

Cuss Skunk, urban hero.

Mark Trail, 3/21/12

Stink Jacket saves the day.

— Uncle Lumpy