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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

Ruin your little valley with a stampede of tourists! All it takes is a Bible Bird Band — yours with any contribution to The Comics Curmudgeon!

By the time comics — with their six-week lead times and Eisenhower-era worldviews — get around to acknowledging hard times, it’s hard times. Let’s see how they’re taking it:

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/11/11

The recession forced little Sarah Morgan to grow up fast — looks like she’s about thirty in panel three there. Rex sees it as his chance to regress, and turns his cap around like one of the Cool Teens. Pssst, Rex! Not Coors — Pabst!

Funky Winkerbean, 10/11/11

Ha, it’s funny because books are antiques. And the store owner got steamrolled by technology. And looks like Funky. Sucks to be you, Book Guy.

Shoe, 10/11/11

In hard times, it’s human nature to point the finger at something like the stock market — even when you lack human nature, or fingers.

La Cucaracha, 10/11/11

Big Peanut seems an unlikely villain, but OK. One quibble, though: for young and old, rich or poor, Spam® alone is Spam, absolute and irreducible.

Judge Parker, 10/11/11

And I think we know who’s really to blame.

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 2

Mark Trail — 1/21, 2/13, 8/5, 10/3, 11/21/06

Sincere thanks to everyone who’s contributed so far — y’all are great! All contributions received by 5:00 EDT Tuesday will ship Wednesday A.M., and appear on the GOOSETRAX map with Wednesday’s post.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

Twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the considerable time, effort, and talent he puts into The Comics Curmudgeon. This time, every contributor will receive a one-of-a-kind Mark Trail-themed Comics Curmudgeon Commemorative Bible Bird Band in appreciation of your generosity. Behold:

These are gold-anodized aluminum butt-end bird bands (three are shown), 1/2″ inside by 3/8″ tall — appropriate for pheasants, ducks, and young (4 – 10 weeks) geese. Each is stamped “Genesis 1:20”, “Lost Forest”, and “CC11-nnn”, where “nnn” is a unique serial number starting at 001. The referenced verse is “And God said, let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven” (KJV) — the very same verse worn by Mark’s Rescue Goose and Mountie McQueen’s wall.

Made by America’s premier manufacturer of game bird, poultry, and livestock tags, these fine bands have been wet-tumbled to a satin sheen, and are ready to ship — First Class, of course — to Comics Curmudgeon contributors of any amount. Your one-of-a-kind Bible Bird Band will arrive packed with a length of linen or leather cord and a pinch of feathers, ready for you to transform into a necklace, bracelet, talisman, or fetish object — the possibilities are endless! Bands will be mailed in numeric order, so act now for those coveted low numbers. Don’t just read about Mark’s Canadian Bible Bird Band adventure — live it!

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. One band per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 60 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

But wait — there’s more! When your personal Bible Bird Band is released from the Comics Curmudgeon‘s West or East Coast wildlife sanctuary, a goose icon will appear at an appropriate pond, park, lake, landfill, or fast-food joint in your ZIP or Postal Code (not at your address) on the interactive GOOSETRAX®* map, courtesy of Google Maps and young codemaster Spiff Lumpy. Personalize your goose by adding a comment in the PayPal “Enter your screen name …” field, or along with your mailed contribution. Full details, Privacy Policy, and opt-out instructions here. GOOSETRAX will go live Wednesday, but check out this preview:

Finally, in honor of the Mark Trail-themed fundraiser, this week features “Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits” — iconic fistic feats of Mark Trail pugilism, stretching back to the misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Here goes:

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1

Mark Trail — 9/25/04, 10/13/04, 12/9-10/05

MEOW BOW-WOW POW — OW!

— Uncle Lumpy

* GOOSETRAX is not an actual Registered Trademark.

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Apartment 3-G, 10/10/11

OK, so Queen Bee turns out to be less a pop-culture icon than a vaguely Fluxus-y performance artist — more Yoko Ono than Lady Gaga — taking deadly aim at the artistic conventions of 16^th-century Florence, with her stinging parody of the single most-parodied painting in history. GASP! Watch out, Edvard Munch — you’re next!

Thanks to Margo for all the helpful exposition in panel two, there. Otherwise, who would’ve guessed?

Apartment 3-G, 10/10/11, The Mona Lisa (details, edited)

WHOA! But despite Jo’s enthusiastic assurances that this is all somehow going viral, I’m pretty sure YouTube can handle the traffic.

Zits, 10/10/11

Speaking of transgression, I would not have picked Zits as first comic to cross the line
into Mom-bondage. OK, Blondie might have been wishful thinking, but at least we were spared Momma.

Ziggy, 10/10/11

And for real subversion of artistic convention, look at the way Ziggy manages to look even more obscene with his pants on.

— Uncle Lumpy