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Your comment of the week in a moment, but first! A very special old-timey Mark Trail, discovered at an estate sale by faithful reader Charterstoned!

Mark Trail, 10/8/1953

It’s topical because it features Johnny Mallotte, who Mark is about revisit in the great Bible Goose Band adventure. Apparently Johnny and Mark were adrift on an ice floe and have been driven mad with hunger, and are now going to feast on this seal (or, as they seem to have called them in the ’50s, this “animal”). Too bad, Mark! It’s still alive! The look on his face in panel three is priceless — he’s about ready to jump right into the icy water, polar-bear-style, to get that seal with his bare hands. Andy looks similarly alarmed, possibly because he knows where the men will turn for food if they can’t catch anything else.

And now … your comment of the week!

“Let’s not allow the nudity to distract us from the real shocking plot twist here: Lu Ann was thinking!” –Doctor Handsome

And your runners up! Very funny!

Funky Winkerbean can make even option contracts seem boring. Oh, wait. Meanwhile, Judge Parker can make even employment contracts involve cleavage.” –Carly

“If you’re wondering why Lu Ann is so heart-broken that no one has need for her lemonade anymore, I’d like to point out that A3G has never discussed how these three ladies have divided the rent. Perhaps, years ago, Tommie and Margo took pity on poor ol’ Lu Ann and let her have her space in the apartment in exchange for ‘lemonade services,’ which are slowly no longer required. (Please don’t google ‘apartment 3G lemonade services.’ It doesn’t lead to good things.)” –Guy Yedwab

“My first thought also was that the glass Lu Ann is holding was empty, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps its contents are just totally transparent, more so than even weak lemonade would be. In other words, I think Lu Ann has just invented waterade.” –Shrug

No thanks, Lu Ann. I have a meeting with Nina — we’re creating a Mills Scholarship Fund and if I drink that lemonade, something bad might happen that will thwart my plans. I might have to go to the bathroom at a crucial moment in the negotiations. I might get a piece of lemon pulp stuck between my front teeth and that could blow the whole deal. Sorry, Lu Ann. Having a glass of lemonade right now is too risky.” –charterstoned

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, if this is leading up to LuAnn deciding to get married and have a baby just because nobody wants her stupid lemonade, that will be totally — well, actually a pretty believable development based on LuAnn’s character.” –Violet

“I grew up in NYC and can say with absolute certainty that NO ONE in NYC would have curtains like that. They’ve been illegal since the 70s.” –SF_Reader

“Even a completely nude Lu Ann, floating dreamily in a bath, is so boring that the most easily offended comics reader will forget why they started writing their latest angry letter to the editor.” –Ed Dravecky

Meanwhile, in Apartment 2-G water is pouring through the bathroom ceiling.” –Walker of Dog

Also, too long to reproduce here but worthy of your attention are Kristian’s “Have You now a Strategy to Woo the Dashing Derek?” and Cloudbuster’s vision of Mark’s interview with the mysterious bird bander.

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/12/11

Oh, hey, it’s beloved Rex Morgan ancillary character Niki, who entered our lives as a sinister purse snatcher but ended up becoming all-too-close with June and Rex alike. Of course, we all remember his polymorphously perverse antics, but we had almost as much fun with his mother, a frighteningly coiffed meth lab assistant who promised to leave illegal drugs behind her if only Rex would give her a job (and a key to the cabinet where all the yummy legal drugs are kept). And, hey, how is Niki’s mom? We sure haven’t heard much from her since the Morgans made their pity hire. This conversation could get awkward real fast if Kelly’s mom ends up replacing her!

Judge Parker, 8/12/11

Ha, Sophie’s very mild little double entendre is actually pretty funny! It sure is a change of pace from this strip’s usual take on sexuality, which generally takes the form of LOOK THIS LADY HAS TITS.

Apartment 3-G, 8/12/11

Wow, Paul, narcissistic much? “Paul, I was just thinking about you! Give me a minute — I just stepped out of the tub, so I’m all naked and dripping wet.” “Gosh, she was thinking about me! I sure am awesome! I like thinking about me too!”

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Apartment 3-G, 8/11/11

More evidence of the differences between A3G girls: Margo escapes from her days of zipper-hauling slavery and heads for a hot, relaxing bubble bath; Lu Ann, meanwhile, likes her baths limpid and cold, the better for her to fantasize about not having sex with her boyfriend.

Curtis, 8/11/11

Thanks to Curtis, I’m totally plugged in to the cool street slang the kids today use! I’m looking forward to sassing folks by calling them “nephew” or cutting them down to size by asking “whadda ya want, a pop-tart?” The fact that they’ll have no idea what I’m talking about is a plus, because that way they won’t get angry or violent with me. I’m a coward!