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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/4/11

Oh, look, it’s a new Rex Morgan villain with comical facial hair. I really like the last panel. You can tell that the artist thought it best to only extend our wheelman’s mustache a bit below his lower lip, but the colorist took matters into his or her own hands. “Dude clearly doesn’t do anything halfway, and that Fu Manchu has to go all the way to his jawline. Photoshop, don’t fail me now!”

Mary Worth, 3/4/11

Yes, most of us would be pretty startled to discover that our reflections were not actually reflecting what we were doing. Dawn’s probably worried that she’s suffering a psychotic break, but maybe in her social networking frenzy she just forgot that that isn’t a mirror at all, but a huge monitor displaying the current DawnCam.com feed. Right now it’s repeating activity from earlier in the night, but her paid subscribers don’t need to know that.

Jumble, 3/4/11

I’m always too dumb to actually solve the Jumble, but I don’t need to today because the answer is obviously “a snow bank.” Now just to fill in the circles and … hey, wait a minute … DAMN YOU JUMBLE!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/4/11

So … being a lawyer in Hootin’ Holler involves throwing rocks at people? Yeah, that sounds about right, actually.

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Blondie, 3/3/11

There’s something I’m profoundly missing about today’s Blondie. Mostly, I’m completely befuddled as to what un-thought-ballooned thoughts we’re supposed to understand to be ruminating in the minds of the two characters in the second panel of this strip. Presumably it’s something that makes panel three funny, or at least makes it make sense. Is barber M. Morelli’s weirdly prominent nameplate relevant somehow? Is Dagwood pausing because he believes his dictatorial boss, whose spies are everywhere, might be listening in on him at this very moment? Perhaps he fears that the huge, unbroken pane of glass is a one-way mirror that Mr. Dithers is hiding on the other side of, seething.

Judge Parker, 3/3/11

Oh, look, the demonization of the latest female Judge Parker guest star is proceeding apace! Our formerly pleasant college student suddenly has turned hard-faced and cruel, as she pushes forward with marketing Judge Parker’s terrible thriller despite the death of her boss. Will we find out that Constance literally threw her boss under the bus? Will Constance’s plot end violently, and in turn become fodder for another Judge Parker book, which will be promoted by yet another murderess? I think I’m beginning to understand why the publishing world is in so much trouble.

Apartment 3-G, 3/3/11

Ha ha, I love Trey’s look of fish-lipped horror in panel two as he processes the phrase “life and stuff.” “My God, I thought he was just a rough-around-the-edges working-class guy, but no, he really is quite stupid.”

Mark Trail, 3/3/11

Oh my God, Mark’s been separated from his razor and is starting to show signs of a beard! HE’S BECOME WHAT HE HATES THE MOST.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/11

Oh, hey, and someone tried to hire June Morgan as a stripper! So there’s that.

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Dennis the Menace, 3/2/11

No matter what your opinion of Dennis Mitchell’s ability to install fear via menacing, you have to admit that he’s generally speaking one of the comics’ less introspective characters. Thus, this little scene is actually kind of poignant. He’s too old to menace people Marvin-style by crapping in his drawers, and too young to slap on some Drakkar Noir and menace the ladies with his aggressive adolescent sexuality. So he just looks glumly at his half-eaten cookie. Is this all there is? Cookies? Man, this is no kind of life.

Mary Worth, 3/2/11

It’s come to my attention that some of you don’t know who Iris is. Iris is Wilbur’s girlfriend, so you may have “forgotten” about her in the sense that your brain, in a vain attempt to make the world make sense, refuses to store the words “Wilbur’s” and “girlfriend” next to each other. Anyway, it’s pretty rich that Iris is waxing about how she eventually learned she had to let li’l Tommy out of the nest, because, of course, this is the sort of decision Tommy made on his own:

The world famous Tommy the Tweaker storyline was the very first Mary Worth plot covered on this blog, and if you missed it it’s totally worth your while to start here and work your way forward. Long story short, I think we all know now that Dawn is building an illicit Twitter lab in her room, and we’re on a collision course with heartbreak and/or wackiness.

Wizard of Id, 3/2/11

Hey, remember yesterday, when the Wizard of Id made no sense but at least didn’t involve eating cockroaches? God, I long for that more innocent time.