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Apartment 3-G, 10/5/10

Oh, Lu Ann, never try to open up and have some personal sharing time with the master of emotional jujitsu. “I had feelings for Jack.” “Yes, he flirted with me too.” Ha ha, see how that went? Margo never got all handsy with Jack, oh no. Sorry your little feelings got hurt, though, Lu Ann! Margo sympathizes in an abstract way, but does not understand these “feelings” of which you speak.

Gil Thorp, 10/5/10

“Ease up!” Everyone knows that in Gil Thorp these two words are the prelude to hilarious violence. And indeed the person being admonished to so ease himself is last football season’s protagonist, simmering rage case/teen alcoholic Duncan Daley, so things seem to be going exactly as planned.

Spider-Man, 10/5/10

Peter’s sullen expression in panel three is priceless. “Aww, here we go, a big guilt trip about how we never schlep out to Queens to hang out with this old bag. I knew we should have scalped the extra ticket!”

Pluggers, 10/5/10

Does Pluggers have a long list of “pluggers go to the bathroom a lot” jokes to get maximum milage out of the template for this drawing? Apparently!

Marvin, 10/5/10

Ha ha, it’s funny because even the dog is repulsed by the smell of Marvin’s feces!

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Without further ado (or any ado, really), let’s go to your comment of the week!

‘This is money. You’ll start makin’ it when you start losin’ teeth.’ Uh, things a pimp might say! Things you didn’t want to know about your grandparents! Pass!” –bartcow

And your runners up! Very hilarious!

“Oh, and speaking of wild and cagey, ignore the hobo with the dildo camera who’s camped on the hill overlooking the fenced area. Say, who needs a refill of blue liquor?” –Dood

“You know, it’s bad that the best dressed guy we have seen in weeks is Dr. Jeff. My initial thought was ‘Hey, I think I have a shirt just like that.’ I then proceeded to sob for hours, burn the shirt, and turn in my gay membership card. I may possibly be the only man Mary Worth has ever turned straight.” –Jeremiah

“I’m just really enjoying the whole idea of the Federal Health Care Blue Book. It must have each body part listed, but are they separated by ‘person’? Or by ‘level of hideous depression’? Because there has to be some way to differentiate Ziggy from the rest.” –mgm

‘Guide him to where that big buck deer hangs out.’ ‘You mean, 18 inches from where we hobbled him and tied him to a tree?'” –Tom Allen

“Seeing Loweezy pronounce the word ‘groceries’ in its entirety comes as quite a shock when portrayed in the same panel with a sign with the words ‘GEN’RAL STO.'” –Red Greenback

“I see something far more sinister in the Family Circus panel for today. PJ’s old enough to learn that there’s only one way out of the compound, and that’s in the ring. You can make a little money by winning, but you can make a lot of money by taking a dive. Dolly’s not too proud to fall.” –Sarahindie

“Because when you adore someone, and want him to succeed, and want to spend time with him, and be best friends with him, that’s not a good foundation for a relationship. No, in the world of Judge Parker, what is absolutely necessary for a successful relationship is a shared love of luxury, a shared contempt of the lower classes, and a shared unity of purpose in getting by based on zero real world effort.” –Peripheral Visionary

“I think Margo’s eyebrow might be stuck.” –AndyL

“Bridesmaids? That should not even be a question. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, is in attendance at all legitimate weddings.” –cj

“I always liked Irving, and now I know why. He’s obviously a loathsome sociopath, but classy enough to weave his excitement over his new iPhone into Cathy’s pregnancy announcement.” –B.B.

Cathy + ‘Belly Laffs’? Out of all the possible futures, this ranks just above the one where apes take over.” –UnclGhost

“That ‘ack’ isn’t from Cathy’s baby; it’s her vagina, and it’s ack-ing in response to both the horrors it witnessed at the conception of the baby, and also the guilt it feels at the part it will play at bringing another Cathy into the world.” –Etters

“Don’t you love it when ‘anything is possible’ but the results are the same as always?” –Ktrout

Again, HUGE thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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Dennis the Menace, 10/4/10

The Mitchells’ pastor ought to be concerned about young Dennis’ decision to turn away from the Christian God and instead offer his worship to Skynet, the superintelligent computer network that will soon destroy us all.

Jumble, 10/4/10

As usual, I’m too dumb to actually solve the Jumble, but I do want to point out that “vomiting” would fit into the solution blanks nicely.

Luann, 10/4/10

After setting this foolproof plan in motion, TJ will head off to his job as a master cat burglar/puppeteer.

Mary Worth, 10/4/10

Let’s hope Jill Black at the hospital has some knife fighting experience, if that oh no nobody’s horning in on MY meddle expression on Mary’s face in panel two foreshadows things to come (and please, please, let it foreshadow things to come).

Slylock Fox, 10/4/10

Shady’s new membership in the Bloods is about to be revoked with extreme prejudice after the other gang members find out he obsessively hoards golden kitty-kat figurines.

Crankshaft, 10/4/10

“Also, we might occasionally be allowed to experience joy!”