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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/23

Part of my whole shtick on this blog is making fun of comics that just do the same jokes over and over, which itself has become repetitive, so I guess I should cautiously give Dennis the Menace credit for trying something new today, though I’m not sure if having an ill-tempered little spat with a kid on an opposing baseball team really counts as “menacing.” Honestly it’s a lot more menacing that CJ’s dog and father-coach just kind of manifest themselves out of thin air on second base in the middle of play. Also, are we supposed to take from the final panel that Dennis’s team is being coached by Henry? If so, I think it’s a funny choice to not even show him, so we can imagine him looking genuinely hurt and saying “Hey, CJ, hey … that’s not cool, man. Come on.”

Marvin, 6/4/23

Similarly, I’ll give Marvin credit from taking a day from its primary obsession (pooping) and instead dwelling on a secondary obsession (the “family” in Marvin & Family is a complex web of relationships, many of which border on outright hatred).

Dick Tracy, 6/4/23

Sprocket Nitrate was introduced in this strip way back in 2014, and her shoelessness was part of her whole deal as a dirty hippie. That was a long time ago, and now it’s the year 2023, when you can absolutely just put things in the comics pages for people who like foot stuff, so now she’s cleaned up her act a bit and being barefoot is itself her whole deal, as we’ll be shown in multiple panels per strip. Anyway, I’m glad that today’s strip also caters to my particular sicko fetish (clean, efficient intercity passenger rail travel).

Six Chix, 6/4/23

I gotta say, in the category of truly deranged Six Chix strips, this is one that I liked. That lady’s friend succumbed to Birkenstocks! She succumbed to Birkenstocks and she fuckin’ died, it’s very funny to me.

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Gil Thorp, 6/3/23

Keri, I’m not really sure that you need preternatural powers of empathy to “sense of jealousy” from a guy whose dad is lavishing so much attention on another kid that he sullenly declares “dad has a new favorite son!” But, more to the point, Coach Luke’s Son Whose Name I Forget (is it Luke Jr.? let’s say that), could you go to Korea to play baseball and then be making wordplay in Korean after just a few weeks? No? Well, maybe that’s why you don’t measure up.

Dick Tracy, 6/3/23

Wow, looks like Dick Tracy’s unconstitutionally violent crime fighting techniques have been so effective that he’s going to be fighting phone crime now! Does the FCC let you shoot people? What if you really want to, like if the perp is real funny looking or something?

Marvin, 6/3/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because the fish feel trapped and they want to escape, even if that would result in their swift death! I mean, they’re characters in Marvin, who can blame them.

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That’s right folks: next Friday is the 2nd Friday of the month, and you know what that means: LIVE ON-STAGE COMEDY IN LOS ANGELES, FROM YOURS TRULY!

Here is the Facebook event! Go forth and proclaim your allegiance to me and my stable of laffmasters!

To tide you over until then, though, you’re going to have to enjoy this comment of the week:

“‘I’m gonna spend the whole summer working more hours!’ ‘Good call.’ Sheesh. It’s like reading Goofus and Gallant, the Oops! All Gallant version.” –Peanut Gallery

Also enjoy your hilarious runners up!

“You’re a plugger if your wife’s stomach growls but you can’t hear it over the sound of gravel tumbling around inside her gizzard.” –nescio

“Is the guy in the van a full-fledged dog trafficker or did he just spot Greta and think, ‘Hey! A dog wearing a bowtie! I want it!’” –Weaselboy

“The pseudo-cannibalism of Shoe might be believable if the birds were defined as hawks. But the disillusioned characters have nothing of a predator’s spirit.” –Tonio

“In Dennis the Menace God’s grace comes from faith rather than works, as the light shines on the child who expresses the power of prayer even as his deeds seem evil in all other respects. In the second panel of Shoe God turns his back on the entire world, which completely deserves it.” –matt w

“It was only years later, as Elmo’s brain filled almost to the point of insanity, that it occurred to him that Mr. Bumstead’s slogan was only a pious invocation of civic religion, rather than a strict commandment.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“So are these Milford girls employing some Gregg Hamm Techniquee (sic)? Because they seem to be fighting with their eyes closed. And recovering with their eyes closed. It really does tend to highlight their lovely eyelashes, but morale could better, it seems.” –made of wince

“‘I enjoy seeing the jealous faces of old men as they imagine us fucking’ said a character in a daily newspaper comic strip, apparently.” –pugfuggly

“Was there ever any explanation for what happened to Bunny, Beetle’s previous girlfriend? I’m guessing the artists got tired of having to remember which of the two young woman models to refer to. Every few seconds count when tee-time is approaching.” –Rube

“Y’know, I’m with Chunkhead on this one. You’re wearing a nylon trash bag on your body and a piece of cardboard on your head, both of which have been worn by hundreds of sweaty, hormonal teens/young adults, and frankly, no thank you. Poindexter may know the history of why we’ve done a thing for about a thousand years, but look at that haircut; that guy’s been in high school since the ’50s, he probably thinks Headband over there spends all her days in Home Ec, learning how to make pot roast for the fellas. (Yes, I realize I could look up their names. No, I will not look up the name of anyone who graces the panels of Rex Morgan, M.D., and this includes the titular character, whatever the fuck his name is.)” –els

“She sat as still as a statute, watching the little homunculus jabber about homework. They had warned her about bad trips, but nothing had really prepared her. Avoid the brown acid, she said to herself as the bookcase began to melt and the gremlin’s head began to rotate.” –Voshkod

“Kelly is gazing at Buzzcut as if a Poindexter with an Adam’s apple and a deep trove of historical trivia is a sex god. That’s not the way I remember high school, and I should know.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Knowing the History Channel, Grandpa is either a Nazi or an Ancient Alien. Both would explain a lot.” –Ettorre

“What an absolutely bizarre choice for expression and pose on the part of the artist. ‘Booyah, who’s watching TV? I’M watching TV!!!’” –ectojazzmage

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