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Slylock Fox, 9/18/23

I love how the narrator (reflecting official Forest Kingdom Regime propaganda) just has Slylock “overhearing” this conversation, like it’s a conincidence or something, as if he hasn’t very obviously broken into the Count’s castle without a warrant to snoop on his private interplanetary conversations. You could’ve been the first sapient Earth creature to make contact with extraterrestrial life, Sly, but now you’ve spoiled it and probably started our planet’s first space war in the process, so congrats.

Curtis, 9/18/23

Curtis, I honestly think you should be less shocked by “My teacher got a new haircut over the summer” and more shocked by “I have had the same teacher every year for as long as I can remember, and every year I neither advance to the next grade nor get any older.” Anyway, remember a few years back, when you still stayed the same age but got a new hat? This is like that, pretty much.

Dennis the Menace, 9/18/23

OK, Dennis telling grinning and updating some unknown third party about his mom’s sleepiness status … I don’t know what’s going on here but the vibe is very menacing.

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Crock, 9/17/23

I’m going to choose to believe that this strip is one where the Crock creative team retained a flicker of memory that this strip is in fact supposed to take place in French-ruled early 20th century North Africa. Yeah, this guy’s a true Parisian scumbag, probably picked up one too many times by les flics and given the choice of either going to jail or joining the Legion and being shipped off the colonies. He promptly washed out of the Legion, his behavior too erratic and aggressive even for them, and ended up here, drunk in the back room of a broken down clothing store on the edge of the empire. He may be “Roy,” but believe me, he’s no king.

Gasoline Alley, 9/17/23

Ahh, a heartwarming meeting between two beloved characters in this century-old strip. “Hey, Uncle Walt! Heard you haven’t moved in a while. You dead?” “Nope!” Great! Well, see ya!”

Mary Worth, 9/17/23

Finally

The Saul-Eve story is over

and

The Ass™ has arrived

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/16/23

Shoutout to Rex Morgan, which, when its armed kidnapping plot rapidly devolved into discussions about the easiest way to transfer money, decided to keep digging and get into a whole thing about ordering room service. “I’m armed, remember?” says Rene, in a desperate attempt to drag the excitement level back up, but nobody’s listening, nobody cares.

Gil Thorp, 9/16/23

Shoutout to Gil Thorp for just having Gil deliver pure unadulterated gnomic bullshit directly to the cameras. “We just need to refocus … I have a feeling this is going to be a long season,” he intones, transfixing readers at home with an eerie Kubrick stare. You don’t need to go so hard, Gil, it’s only week one of the season!

Pluggers, 9/16/23

Wait, is Pluggers implying that a thing that we had in the past and no longer have might’ve been less than perfect? UNACCEPTABLE, BURN THE HERETIC