Post Content

Hi and Lois, 6/15/10

I will admit that, weak little bit of 1950s-era wordplay though it is, the fact that Hi and Thirsty’s employer is named “Foofram Industries” or whatever amuses me. However, before today’s strip, I had always just assumed that the company was some generic and modest white collar concern. This strip seems to indicate that, even before this planned merger, Foofram is corporate giant, with employees filling two skyscrapers, one of which is decorated with the enormous word FOOFRAM, proudly proclaiming the founder’s name to pedestrians below and to the Fooframers in the other tower. (Do you think that both buildings have FOOFRAM signs, so that employees in both buildings are constantly reminded of the man to whom they owe fealty?) Anyway, I think at this point it goes without saying that I hope that the post-merger combined company keeps the Foofram name. It’s a very strong brand!

Beetle Bailey, 6/15/10

Although its only the shoe-chewing whose aftermath we see, the “mess” in “mess up his floor” is clearly code for peeing and/or defecating. And yet Otto is wearing undershorts! Is Sarge so dim as to think that wearing pants magically potty-trains a creature? Because it doesn’t, Sarge. Just think of how full those boxers must be! Sarge is a terrible pet owner! No wonder Otto looks so sad.

Spider-Man, 6/15/10

Oh, look, it’s a set-up for one of the very worst kinds of Spider-Man plot developments (yes, there are worst kinds): some pointless thing sends Peter Parker into a downward spiral of inadequacy and sullenness vis-à-vis his relationship with his wife and his perceptions of his own masculinity. Whee! We’ll have much time to dwell on this, but for the moment I just want to point out that both Parkers are !ing in panel three, which I find cute.

Post Content

Your top comment this week is about 9 Chickweed Lane — trust me, it makes sense if you follow along:

“Hoo boy, will all you people feel silly when this strip goes back to unicorns and finger-fucking. ‘Bring back the Nazi!’ you’ll say, but too late.” –Buck Ripsnort

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Jenna must be a good accountant if she’s able to detail the Johnsons’ finances on a single sheet of paper. I imagine she simplified their money problems down to the basics: Income: $84,000 (very good!) Miscellaneous expenses: $56,000 (not bad!) Hideous pastel outfits: $49,000 (whoopsies!)” –BigTed

“Meanwhile in Trailville, sideburns have arrived.” –Sheila Sternwell

“Is there some kind of drug that you can inhale that makes basic budgetary details seem interesting? If so, financial counselor Jenna Thomas has been sniffing it off her right index finger all week.” –nescio

“The hostility coming off the clowns probably has something to do with Dagwood’s ridiculous hair and giant yellow button. I’m guessing they thought he was betraying his clown heritage, like some sort of clown Uncle Tom.” –BananaSam

“I’m pretty sure Mark Trail is just working its way down to advocating a return to a completely lawless, survival-of-the-fittest society. ‘This social contract, it only serves to rob poor, innocent, old women of their animal companions. Laws did this.'” –Dave

“‘Margo and Luann love lasagna, and they can’t bicker with their mouths full.’ I was praying that panel two would be a cut to Tommie sitting at the dinner table, covered in half-chewed lasagna that is shooting at her from either side.” –Grump

“Oh now that’s just ridiculous. You can’t arbitrarily stick a C3 (Commercial/Light Industrial/No Dogs Allowed) designation in a block full of R2s (Cheesily Sinister Snobbish Residential).” –Hogan

“[Wilbur] is stuffing food in his face in the least graceful way one can stuff food in one’s face without involving a pie cannon or spray cheese rocket.” –Chip Whittle

Too long to reproduce here in fall, but also worthy of your attention, is this epic Luann fantasy from Old School Allie Cat.

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we could be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/14/10

Well, thank goodness: the new Mary Worth plot is being heralded by a Charterstone Pool Party, so the world does in fact still make some kind of sense. Kudos to Jenna for spicing things up by shouting potentially sensitive information across a courtyard full of her clients’ friends and neighbors. “I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR REFERRING THE JOHNSONS TO ME AS CLIENTS! BONNIE’S COMPULSIVE SPENDING ON HIDEOUS CLOTHES IN UNDER CONTROL FOR NOW, AND HER HUSBAND HAS GRUDGINGLY AGREED NOT TO LEAVE HER! I STILL DON’T THINK THEIR SEX LIFE HAS REALLY RECOVERED, THOUGH!”

Say, check out Wilbur in the background of panel two! Presumably he’s recovered from the pain of being abandoned by his lying not-son. No longer hiding in his apartment, shoving sandwich after sandwich into his mouth, he’s decided to come out into the daylight, mingle with his fellow condo dwellers, and chow down on a raw potato instead.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/14/10

You know, any comic can show you a character telling another an awkward, unfunny joke; in fact, one might argue that this is one of the things the American newspaper comics pages do best! But only high-quality strips like Funky Winkerbean have the craftsmanship to show you the uncomfortable aftermath of those failed zingers: the confusion, the sheepish smiles, the half-hearted apologies on both sides. Tomorrow’s strip should just be three panels of these two silently brooding over their continued failure to forge an interpersonal bond, despite their game efforts.

Mark Trail, 6/14/10

Panel three’s closeup reveals that “Sally” is clearly just character actor Ernest Borgnine in a not terribly convincing wig — which bodes ill for our mustachioed dog-hating villain. Don’t let Borgnine’s “lovable loser” persona from his Oscar-winning turn in Marty fool you; he’s a decorated World War II naval gunner, so that nosey neighbor and his politician friend may find themselves under attack by ship-based artillery in the near future.

Dick Tracy 6/14/10

Oh, right, Dick Tracy: it still exists, and is still insane, etc. One particularly odd and hitherto unexplained aspect of this storyline is that the play-gone-haywire at the heart of it is being staged at the Science Museum, which is not the sort of place one usually imagines as a theatrical venue. But now we’ve learned the narrative motivation behind this: with the action established at the Science Museum, we’ve been set up for a dramatic conclusion within a restored submarine! Because when you think “Science Museum,” you generally think “historic naval vessels.” Anyway, long story short, that submarine’s deck and walls are about to be decorated with blood, as Dick guns down his antagonist at point-blank range.