Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 11/28/23

I guess the joke here is that Dennis is too stupid to know what “Uncle Sam” means, and has mistaken this metonym for America and the federal government for one of Mr. Wilson’s actual uncles, and thinks maybe the whole financial system is based on avuncular largess? This would work better if we already knew that “Uncle Charlie” is a real uncle in his family, and who knows, maybe there was a panel published sometime in the last 62 years that establishes this, but I’m reasonably sure that when it comes to Dennis the Menace Lore Knowers I’m in the top 5%, so if this is news to me, it probably is to most other people as well.

Blondie, 11/28/23

I think this strip does a pretty good job of capturing the energy of being trapped in a small, enclosed space with a crank (and for once, Dagwood is not the crank). I particularly like the way this guy’s waving his wallet around, as if that proves something about his wife’s spending. Clearing out your bank account has nothing to do with how much cash is in your wallet, my friend! Money’s all just numbers in a computer now, for the most part. You clearly have even less of a grasp on your financial situation than you think!

Mary Worth, 11/28/23

Speaking of being trapped in a small, enclosed space with someone, Kitty and Keith are trapped in a small, enclosed space (Keith’s Jeep) romantically, as Kitty’s ride back from the stables conveniently ditched her so Keith has to give her a ride home. They’re belting out Stevie Wonders’s 1984 hit, “Love Light in Flight,” and are definitely going to fool around when they get back to Kitty’s place, which is big news for those who are rooting for these two to reconnect. I’m not one of those people — in fact, the whole prospect repulses and disgusts me — but I take seriously my mission of reporting on the comics and wanted to pass the information along to all the K/K shippers out there.

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 11/27/23

Happy postprandial Monday, all, and welcome to The Misdirect, Chapter 4 of the Barajas Era of Gil Thorp, America’s #1 newspaper comic for confusing sports action. After besting Valley Tech’s football team (I think?) by injuring one of their key players, Coach Thorp is ready to move on to basketball season, while Coach Ochoa is handing [squints] lacrosse (…?) duties. Coach Martinez, meanwhile has realized that the success of the [squints harder, eventually gives up] TBD team on the [shorthand for the TBD team’s playing surface or arena] matters less than branding, which is why he’s installed an enormous Milford/Martinez M in ominous red and black to loom over the gym, emphasizing to student-athletes and fans alike that they constitute One Team, One School, One Volk.

Pluggers, 11/27/23

Remember a million years ago, when, during a Super Bowl halftime show, Justin Timberlake tore a small piece of Janet Jackson’s outfit off, semi-revealing her breast, which was still mostly covered by an elaborate nipple ring appliance, and there were huge raging debates over whether this was intentional or a “wardrobe malfunction?” Like many incidents we all have to pretend are meaningful in some way, it sounds insane if you describe it in hindsight, but anyway, pluggers definitely remember. Pluggers remember, and to pluggers, their head is a boob and the slow work of time and decay is Justin Timberlake’s dextrous hand, about to free their head-boob for their loved ones and all of America to unexpectedly see.

Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/26/23

CASSANDRA [bursting through the studio door]: Quick, Kopy, I need a favor. Put this portrait up on your easel and act like you’re painting me. I’ve already made sure that I’m wearing the same clothes as in the picture; let me get myself in position so I get the strut exactly right.

KOPY: Gee, Cassandra, this painting is completely dry, and I don’t even have any blue paint out. Slylock’s gonna see right through this scheme! You’d better just run if you don’t want to get caught.

CASSANDRA [posing sexily, just they way she knows Slylock likes it]: Who said anything about not getting caught?

Dick Tracy, 11/26/23

OK, yes, ha ha, Sam’s colleagues on the Major Crimes Unit are razzing him by implying he’s going to extract saliva from their suspect X. Libris by smooching her, and Liz is even demonstrating the frenching technique he’ll used to acquire an adequate sample size, but we need to talk about the metaphor Sam is deploying in response in the final panel. I guess we’re supposed to visualize him … face down in the gutter? Sort of swimming along? But he’s wearing a snorkel, so he can get a real good look at what’s going on down there? And these floating brains keep blocking his access to air? It’s all very unsettling, and once they solve this series of gruesome stab murders, probably everyone on the squad should sue everyone else for creating a hostile work environment.

Gasoline Alley, 11/26/23

Hey, did you know that back in the early ’80s, Bolero was considered a top “sex record”, a cliched thing you’d put on the old hi-fi if you brought a special person back to your pad and were ready to get down? Not saying that’s what’s going on here, but I do invite you to imagine going home with someone and instead of hopping into bed they insisted you wait for a bizarre cat food commercial featuring singing mice, to “set the mood.”