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Click the banner above to contribute any amount — and receive your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet with our thanks! Full details here.

OK OK OK! Twice a year while subbing for Josh, I try to raise a little extra cash to say “Thanks!” for the fine entertainment, and to help with the operation of the site. Two things are new this time around. First, your generous contributions will help pay for the site’s extensive design upgrade, now underway. Second — and for the first time ever — every contributor, of any amount, will receive a gift in grateful gratitude for your generosity: this fashionable and unique bracelet, inscribed “What would Margo do?” Behold:

Lovingly crafted by the willowy jeweler-maidens of exotic Nan An Town, GaoYao City, each bracelet is medical-grade silicone, recessed and filled with the inscription “What Would Margo Do?”, and lightly embossed with “www.joshreads.com” on the inside. And yes, it glows in the dark.

What will you do, inspired by the message and spirit of Margo? The possibilities are endless, terrifying, and of course often illegal:

• Wear it ’round the house, and watch your roommates scramble to do your bidding!
• Wrap it ’round your Fist of Justice, to emboss hairy evildoers with a message they’ll never forget!
• Wear it to bed, to baffle and intimidate your partner!
• Touch it whenever you feel lonely or insecure — then rip a hole in the universe, and make it your bitch!

Just click the banner at the top of the page, then follow the instructions to contribute by credit card or PayPal. Write me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you prefer to contribute by check or money order. Sorry, just one bracelet per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 40 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

Finally, in honor of the Margo-themed fundraiser, this week features “Margo Moments” — Josh’s personal stash of Margocentric panels (Sanitized® — for your protection!), stretching back to the dim, misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Think of it as Apartment 3-G without all the boring Tommie and LuAnn bits! Here goes:

Margo Moments – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 12/29/2004, 2/21, 6/21, 8/21, 11/13, 12/17/2005, 01/17, 2/20, 3/4/2006

Ahhh, that’s our gal.

— Uncle Lumpy

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I don’t select the Comments of the Week (not worthy!), but good news: Josh assembled these gems before high-tailing it for parts unknown! Here is your weekly top comment!

“A lot of people may regard Hi and Lois as pretty conventional, but I for one have never seen a couple of non-junkies so consistently committed to ignoring their baby.” –Violet

And here are your runners up!

“Scott is killed by a heroin dealer, but is able to get a shot off before the sweet sweet Charterstone-free eternal sleep envelops him. The critically injured dealer is rushed to the hospital where Adrian is faced with the moral dilemma — do I let him die or do I accept his invitation for drinks and a movie?” –Uncle Ritzy-Fitz

“And yeah, and what’s-her-face is totally using this to try to get into Les’s pants. I would express disapproval, but actually getting into Les’s pants will be punishment enough.” –Cliff Arroyo

“That traditional Milford bonfire is of Gil’s house by everyone he’s screwed over. Marty DeJong was just a little early this year.” –Steve S

“And I think Archie should just go ahead and reboot as a funny animal strip if that’s what they want to draw. Go ahead, let them get married, say ‘OK, that’s it!’, and the next morning they’re all squirrels. I believe it’s what nature intends.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“YO TOM BATUIK, I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, AND I’MMA LET YOU FINISH DEPRESSING THE MASSES ON A WEEKLY BASIS, BUT SPAMALOT IS ONE OF THE BEST MUSICALS OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.” –Ace

“Ah, nothing like a good witch burning to kick off the football season.” –zerowolf

“Toni’s turnaround was clearly Day One of Brad’s schizoid break with reality. Hope the real Toni is still alive.” –Marion D

“MW: I love the ‘Cartel Update’ pamphlet. I prefer to think that the police merely intercepted the drug cartel’s weekly newsletter. ‘Not only have they changed warehouses, but it’s big Pauly’s birthday! Be sure to wish him a hearty congratulations as you arrest him.'” –Citric

“Ah, Brad, once again you stand in for all humanity. Who amongst us does not have erotic daydreams involving our best friend and our father?” –neographite

“On the plus side, though, it seems that Brad can’t even create non-Toni people who care about him. High-five, universe!” –cj

“Grandma Keane just wants to know where her goddam flying car is. She was promised one.” –yellojkt

“When Grandma says the future just isn’t what it used to be, she should know. After all, she’s a time traveller who came here from a wonderful future where we all live in enlightened peace and harmony. However, during her time travels, she accidentally killed a mosquito, and … well, that’s how we end up living in a post-apocalyptic hell with President Jeffy.” –Perky Bird

“It’s nice of Brad to envision a world where TJ has been cured of his chronic case of lockjaw.” –zamros

“Weren’t JAMARR, DEONTE, DIEHL and BAUZA the clues in today’s Jumble?” –Dancing Bear

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

• Passion. History. Blood. : A vampire time travels to 18th-century France to kill the man she once loved before he infects her. But the guillotine threatens and so do his secrets. “Few combine a sensual romance within a supernatural thriller as well as Squires.” — Midwest Book Review.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Pearls Before Swine, 9/21/09

Pearls Before Swine parodies Apartment 3-G. Poor Margo.

Edge City, 9/21/09

Last holiday: avoid bread products. Next holiday: promote bread products. Religion is so complicated.

Funky Winkerbean, 9/21/09

For some real money, try ‘Pie-the-Author’: you can pick up cowpies free at any dairy farm.

Dick Tracy, 9/21/09

What? The clown? The one we saw with a blunderbuss back in July? Say it ain’t so!

Judge Parker, 9/21/09

OK blah blah blah Gloria Sanchez sure is hot blah blah blah blah. Got it.

Mark Trail, 9/21/09

Hey, if it’s a good idea to just leave him bob, put him in the water!

— Uncle Lumpy