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Six Chix, 4/22/23

I feel like there are few more depressing sentences in the English language than “cake is biodegradable,” which implies that these people aren’t going to eat this delicious cake but are rather just going to leave it out in this open field to slowly rot. These are (I think?) children and the cake is almost as big as they are, so it’s unrealistic to expect them to eat all of it, but still, it’s quite melancholy. I suppose it’s supposed to be the Earth Day equivalent of that time a British train museum tossed a chocolate cake into a locomotive’s firebox for its 145th birthday, but like, a lot less fun.

Rhymes With Orange, 4/22/23

A lot of strips did Earth Day jokes today, and I spent quite a while trying to figure out if this was one of them, but I don’t think it was! I think it’s just a strip asking us to contemplate whether a bird cleaning the food out of a crocodile’s teeth is an erotic experience, for either party.

Mary Worth, 4/22/23

If you were at a karaoke studio and a visibly angry man got on stage and announced “This song is dedicated to me … because I need to hear this!”, how excited would you be for what was about to happen, on a scale from 10 to some kind of number that’s so large that only our most powerful computers could even generate it?

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This week’s top comment? Is that what you’re after? Well, good news: here it is.

“Being presented with ‘so many things to do’ and then opting for ‘wandering around a bit before going back to our room’ is ridiculously on brand for Rex Morgan protagonists.” –TheDiva

There were many competitors for this top spot! Here are the runners up.

“So, uh, why is Dagwood’s ‘treasure chest’ clearly one of those rock band touring cases? I refuse to believe Dagwood has ever seen any form of live music that didn’t involve the Charleston, and I certainly refuse to believe he was a roadie for the kind of insufferable alt rock band that would wear that kind of hat.” –Schroduck

“The titular leading lady of the strip rarely gets to exhibit any personality beyond being a plank-like straight man for Dagwood’s antics, but it’s always regrettable when those uncommon opportunities arise. Women-be-shopping, judgmental gossiping, and a psychotically violent impulse towards anachronistic headwear. That’s all you’ll ever know about Blondie Bumstead, and you’ll wish you knew less.” –jroggs

“Shouldn’t the hat be riding on top of Dagwood’s cowlicks? You can’t tell me those things bend.” –matt w

“Excited to learn about Hootin’ Holler’s burgeoning zine culture.” –MRNA Loy, on Twitter

“No … Rod, these are bottles of root beer. He’s in really bad shape, man.” –taig

“Retirement, lesson 1: Keep your arms crossed at all times. Lesson 2: Take off the ski mask. Jeez, give the guy a chance, will ya? He’s already halfway through the course!” –Peanut Gallery

“Of course he doesn’t recognize you, that room is nearly pitch black with a bit of grey(?) ambient light. See those people in the background? That’s how you look to them!” –pugfuggly

“When the bill for veterinary services is presented, I hope the woman with the dog knows enough to at least try ‘we can discuss compensation later [wink].’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

If the Wilbur Weston drinking game requires us to take a shot every time he responds to ‘How are you?’ with ‘Not great,’ we might as well call the paramedics now.” –BigTed

“Does he know? Is Gil aware of the 145 dropped subplots out there?” –2+2=7

“Hank and Yvonne. We’re on history’s most boring honeymoon!” –MKay

“Dennis, in his quest to be a demagogue, has already begun the work of rhetorically denying the terrible things he will say in his speeches, which his followers will believe, no Ministry of Truth needed. Right now it’s lying about saying some soft swear words, but this will build faster than anyone, even us long-time readers, will be ready for.” –Philip

“Lois put her children in front of a channel known for its nudity without even checking before what they were watching. This strip is slowly evolving from the 1950s to the 1980s.” –Ettorre

“It’s a good thing Ed and Estelle only go to The Piano Bar and not The Karaoke Club. What? The Piano Bar is closed tonight? Fate rears its comb-overed head…” –Myrtle

“Old Purple Dress is over there thinking, ‘I was just going to come in, sell her a few tubes of Rodan & Fields Lash Boost, then get the hell out of here. How did it come to this?’” –Old School Allie Cat

“Manners, schmanners. Menace, penace. Why’s this panel shaped like Alberta?” –pastordan

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Mary Worth, 4/21/23

I’m not at all a person who’s in favor of repressing one’s feelings, but Wilbur is openly weeping in front of you, Mary! I don’t think he needs the language of song to help him fully express his emotions! He just needs some tissues so he doesn’t get snot all over your upholstery.

Dennis the Menace, 4/21/23

I dunno, Dennis, you appear to have put on a shirt and tie to set the mood for the single guest your mother invited over, so I’m going to actually guess that you’re in the top decile of manners for six-year-olds nationwide.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/23

Ha ha, look at Yvonne’s face in that second panel, that’s a woman who’s trying so hard to not just blurt out “SO ARE YOU EVER GOING TO SING ‘MUDDY BOOTS’ AGAIN OR WHAT”