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Apartment 3-G, 8/26/08

Wait a minute — who is this mousy, bespectacled woman, and what have they done with Sam? Damn it, I’m perfectly comfortable with the idea that Margo is such an awful, terrifying, and desperately sexy boss that she leaves a trail of emotionally shattered personal assistants in her wake, but I at least would have liked to see the quitting scene, full of recrimination and tears and cold, cruel laughter.

I apparently didn’t feature her in any of the strips in my archives, but this woman actually looks an awful lot like one of the cowed servants of the sinister Mr. Eldon, who held Margo captive in his sweatshop in the famous “More zippers, mule!” storyline. I’d like to think that, once she had a few years to get over that whole enslavement thing, she and Eldon got together for a productive talk about management techniques.

Blondie, 8/26/08

Hey, everybody! Did you enjoy the past two weeks of Dagwood sitting in front of the TV and making lame, nonspecific jokes about the Olympics that were obviously written weeks in advance? Then you’re going to love the next two weeks of Dagwood sitting in front of the TV and making lame, nonspecific jokes about the political conventions that were obviously written weeks in advance!

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Hi all! As usual for a Monday night COTW post, you’ve got some random stuff to sit through, some of it Anthony-Elizabeth related, ’cause I know you’re all into that! First off, those of you who are the young kids of today and who use the Facebook or whatever might be interested in two Facebook “pieces of flair,” created by faithful reader Holy Prepuce. Show your Facebook friends what you think of Elizabeth’s new groom, here and here!

Also, faithful reader Dan sent me this pic and note:

In honor of the Patterson-Caine wedding, I snapped this photo of a local (Cranston, RI) hair salon that happens (?) to have the same name as the soon-to-be-newlyweds. I’ve never been inside the salon, so I can’t confirm whether they offer mustache grooming services.

Also! In non-foob news, faithful reader Joe sends me this photo and associated missive:

I got two tickets to the Philadelphia folk festival from a friend with the only stipulation being I wear my Fist O’ Justice shirt and send you a picture of me in it at the Folk Fest.

Joe, you have held up your end of the bargain, so here is the pic! You earned those tickets good!

And now, the comment of the week you’ve all been waiting for:

“Toby’s internal monologue about doing what one needs to has inspired the artist in me! Now I’m off to create a bowel movement.” –Mooncattie

Funny yet disgusting, which as you know is what we like around here. Also funny (and in some cases disgusting) are the runners up!

“Considering where the words and pictures land in that thought balloon (and considering their thoroughly effed-up marital dynamic), I’m willing to believe that Toby is actually imagining Ian offering that complimentary paragraph on his own behalf — probably because he actually said it at some point. While not wearing a shirt.” –ChargeMan

“Oh, crap, Ian is Toby’s HUSBAND?!? I’ve only been half paying attention to this storyline and assumed he was a senile uncle or perhaps an old man she sees at the bus stop occasionally and feels sorry for. Thank God this is Mary Worth or this union might have actually been consummated!” –Joe Blevins

“What the hell is she talking about — ‘Life is short?’ She’s a character in Rex Morgan. Every day takes a minimum of three months. She got to Rex’s office early, and has been there maybe an hour, and that’s taken at least a week.” –AMC

“I’m seeing patients again. Oh, and I’m also into hair dye and stealing clothes from Deion Sanders.” –Darkefang

“Ruby’s hair bow is from The Dick Van Dyke Show’s Rosemarie Collection, size XXL. Earrings by the Home Depot garden center.” –Annon

“I’m still not sure what happened in Gil Thorp. Did he film ninety minutes of countryside? Is the boredom of a bus ride supposed to be a deterrent to playing minor league ball? Is Coach so antiquated that he is unaware of boredom canceling technology like iPods, DVD players, books, and sleeping?” –WillieO

“I love the expression on Jimmy’s face in Panel 1 of Gil Thorp. ‘Two DVDs from Elmer marked “Kalamazoo Bound.” LET’S GRIND IT UP AND SNORT IT!'” –survivor

“I expected ‘Kalamazoo Bound’ to be Elmer’s first attempt at adult erotic cinematography. ‘Hey, Jimmy, here’s a hitchhiker we picked up just outside of Lansing! How d’ya like that rope work?'” –Harold

“If anyone in BGSS were going to be playing an instrument, it’d be a gutbucket, wouldn’t it? Is that squeezed like a bunch of elongated nipples? No, really, I want to know. I played the bassoon, so I haven’t a clue about what hillbillies play. I’m elite like Barack Obama.” –Oddball Cargo

“Also, I do not truly believe that Elizabeth has been ‘giddy,’ ever, in her entire life. That would involve too much unclenching. And ‘tired,’ seriously? Is she practicing for the wedding night?” –goldamarlin

“By the way, I think Grandpa Jim is faking it. Boxcars, that man’s got the right idea. I predict Uncle Phil and several others will follow his lead and soon be having sudden ‘attacks’ and ‘flare-ups,’ excusing themselves from this ritualistic eye poison.” –PeteMoss

“Seriously though, WTF? Teal carnations don’t exist in nature for a reason, y’know.” –The Sparrow

“There have been a lot of clues that Ted Forth is a Comics Curmudgeon reader. But I’d have to say his underemployment has been the big tip-off.” –Edgy DC

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Crock, 8/25/08

The joke in this comic almost makes sense, but not quite. I suppose that the gag is supposed to be that anyone who could spend two hours talking on any subject must be “really smart”? Even though he’s just spouting lies or ignorance? Anyway, after I finally got my head around what the dialog was supposed to mean, I realized that the little boy is talking to a vulture, what the hell. The terrible carrion-eater is probably just going to lull the kid into complacency with his banter before pecking out his eyes.

B.C., 8/25/08

I wonder how Johnny Hart would feel about the strip he created featuring fewer incomprehensible jokes about Jesus and more goofy jokes about the munchies. I’m feeling pretty good about it, myself.

Phantom, 8/25/08

I managed to avoid the just concluded Phantom story pretty effectively, but now at last we’re getting to what the kids like: red-hot Phantom-on-Mrs.-Phantom-on-private-island action! Careful, O naked heroes, those palm fronds look itchy.

Update: I appear to have been nominated to appear in some sort of hot blogger calendar (page may take a moment to load), as has Ces Marciuliano of Sally Forth fame (yes, he has a blog, too). Anyway, you should vote for one or both of us, if you want to see us pose in our underwear in a calendar or something. Thanks to faithful reader Bookworm for the tip!