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Comment of the Week

Wizard of Id has succintly portrayed the difference between Early and Late Medieval modes of warfare: while his Dark Age companions are boldly dying for their feudal lord, the canny Sir Rodney treats war as a profession. He is akin to the condottiere who would dominate later Italian warfare. That sly look and crooked smile is that of a man who sees human corpses as nothing more than money in his purse, arguably far more barbaric than his predecessors. But trebuchets suck for hitting single guys so we're probably about to see Sir Smarty Pants' insides in spite of his historically progressive role.

—m.w.
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Love is . . .

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Funky Winkerbean, 6/23/2008

. . . putting her feelings before your own.

Apartment 3-G, 6/23/2008

  • Tommie: . . . spending special moments together after too long apart.
  • Lu Ann: . . . helping your special someone get through a rough patch.
  • Margo: . . . descending like the Angel of Rage on your idiot roommate’s slacker junkie boyfriend, flushing his stash, and leaving his body in a bloody heap for Jones’s goons to finish off and mop up.

    • Spider-Man, 6/23/2008

    . . . checking both ends, just to be sure. “Say, ‘Ahhh’, Tiger!”

    — Uncle Lumpy

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    Metapost: “No comment” of the week!

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    Q: “Uncle Lumpy, you say you don’t pick the “Comment of the week” because it’s Josh’s prerogative, but isn’t the real reason that you’re just too damn lazy?”
    A: “No comment.”

    I have sweet metaposty goodness for you nonetheless! Faithful readers who remember last year’s Gail Martin lunacy cascade (with concert t-shirt and fan wiki) will be pleased to hear that faithful reader Scott’s Kalamazoo, MI-based band, New Real People, has recorded the definitive version of Tarzana Nights for the twenty-first century. While my own musical tastes run toward Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians, the cover art alone is nine kinds of awesome:

    Y’all can sample and download the song here.

    And in other news: I run fundraisers for The Comics Curmudgeon twice a year when I sub for Josh — not this time, though. But if you feel moved to buy Josh and Amber a round of Nardini Grappa Riserva to share at the terrace bar of the Hotel Baia Dei Mulini in Trapani as the last warm rays of the Mediterranean sunset catch the highlights in Amber’s hair and the music of the surf mingles with the soft laughter of young love — well, I can’t see anybody objecting, y’know? It’s that “Donate” button over at the left there. Just sayin’.

    And let’s not forget the fine advertisers who help sustain this site:

    • Hip & Handmade!: Shana LOVES people who are independent thinking, unique, artistic, and never too old to have fun! Shop ShanaLogic.com for handmade jewelry, hot apparel, gear for guys, unusual plushes, and more!
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    — Uncle Lumpy

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    Judge not!

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    Judge Parker, 6/22/2008

    Well, speak of the devil and he appears! The distinguished-looking gentleman in panels two and five is the Honorable Alan Parker, Judge of the mumble mumble Court of mumble mumble in Parkerville, ST. He’s in the (endless) process of retiring, and when we last saw him — on November 28, 2006 — he was helping his son, Randy “Work it like a claw” Parker, campaign for his seat on the bench.

    As early as the 1960’s, the Judge had grown too respectable to be involved in any kind of action — rough-and-tumble P.I. Sam Driver took care of that end of the business. Now similarly neutered, Sam patronizes his secretary, ignores the advances of beautiful women, and passes the action torch to Steve Shannon.

    This happens all the time in serial strips:

  • Funky Winkerbean‘s Harry Dinkle is promoted, gets a performing arts center named after himself, and lands a sinecure to help him out in retirement. You can practically hear the choirs sing when he descends to offer Stumpy some sage advice
  • Steve Roper and Mike Nomad kicked Steve upstairs and gave Mike all the wet work
  • For Better or For Worse canonizes every Patterson family member or friend over the age of 21 (sorry, April). Mike and his pals Gordon and Weeder are absurdly successful based on no talent or work we ever get to see
  • Rex Morgan, MD‘s Rex and June just drive around, chat, and witness other folks’ adventures

    • Why do authors build strong characters over years, only to turn them to plaster saints? Thank heaven Dick Tracy still keeps his hand in the game.

    Flash Gordon 6/22/2008

    Zonino! Who knew this was still being published? And with a special guest appearance by King Features superstar Mary Worth in the first two panels!

    — Uncle Lumpy