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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/15/08

My, the local yokels in Rex Morgan’s town sure care about stuff, don’t they? I mean, most people respond to news about bacteria and public health policy by saying “Guh, science is hard” and changing the channel, but these folks have taken note of the crisis in their community and chose to get politically involved. Naturally, Rex and June, as representatives of the out-of-touch medical elite, dismiss them as ignorant peasants. In their perfect world, people would meekly follow the dictates of their physician-kings, especially when it came to purchasing expensive prescription medication manufactured by companies who contribute nice pens and notepads to the Morgan clinic.

Rex’s dickish statement in panel two definitely qualifies as one of his most hilarious dickish statements yet. Of course, his obsession with nostril health may be the root cause of some of the more unusual viewing angles this strip has featured in the past:

And let’s not forget this panel from last Saturday!

See, we thought it was about her choppers, but it turns out that we can actually see the MRSA breeding, up there amongst her boogers.

Apartment 3-G, 4/15/08

That’s actually what Margo asks herself pretty much every waking minute of the day. Still, in panel three she looks almost sheepish about the awful plan for exploiting Lu Ann’s brain damage she’s about to unveil.

Blondie, 4/15/08

When I first read this, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be easier if Dagwood just kept a stick of pepperoni in the car?” But if he did, he’d inevitably eat it. In fact, he’s probably going to eat that air freshener.

For Better Or For Worse, 4/15/08

Wait … when the baby boomers were getting married the bygone days of the ’60s and ’70s, did they really decide on a wedding date the moment they got engaged? I don’t think they did, actually. FOR PETE’S SAKE FOOBS, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN MAKE A PUN OUT OF IT DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE.

Get Fuzzy, 4/15/08

Ha, he said “wash his own balls!” But what really made me laugh for some reason was “oh my head.” Most people would say “oh my God” or the like, but Bucky can imagine no deity more important than his own misshapen skull.

Judge Parker, 4/15/08

HEY, EVERYONE, MARIJUANA! The Dickens farm has been growing marijuana. That … that revelation turned out to be fairly anticlimactic, actually. At least we’ll be treated to a be-hatted Abbey being held captive by sinister geriatric drug dealers, which should be wonderful and bizarre.

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Argh, I meant to put this up last night, but better late than never: if you live in Iowa’s Quad Cities area, or anywhere you can pick up ROCK 104-9 KBOB-FM, you can hear me being interviewed by Dave and Darrin in the morning at 9:10 am local time (that’s in about 50 minutes!). Ever wondered if I sound as dorky as I look? Now’s your chance to find out? Apparently these DJs have a Marty Moon obsession, so we should get along fine!

UPDATE: Now available on the show’s podcast! Boy, the morning radio DJ of today is remarkably tech-savvy.

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Got a pretty adorable pic from faithful reader Frank Parsnip, featuring the 9-month-old Parsnip twins, Emma and Anthony, resplendent in their Comics Curmudgeon wear:

The Parsnip clan was on a trip to Korea when this pic was taken, which means that the sight of Jungle Patrol and Fist O’ Justice themed paraphernalia was probably even more baffling to passersby than usual. Remember, it’s easy for me to put logos on baby and toddler clothes, so email me if you’d like to make sure that 20 years from now your kids find their baby pictures completely inscrutable.

Speaking of Fists O’ Justice, a faithful reader sent me a link to their new blog: The Fists Of Justice League! Basically, it features Mark Trail and other comic characters punching people. Check it out!

Oh yeah, and it’s Monday! That means it’s COTW time:

“It strikes me as admirably in character that Cathy has an untidily assembled sack of ‘Tax Stuff.’ Undoubtedly she has a whole closet full of shopping bags variously labeled ‘Diet Brownie Recipes,’ ‘Oprah Transcripts,’ and ‘Rejected Bad Hair Day Joke Submissions to Reader’s Digest.’ (Oh, Cathy! We know you’re having a bad hair LIFE!!!) The largest of these, ‘Suicide Notes,’ is actually the most organized, broken down as it is into subcategories such as ‘Irving’s Fault,’ ‘Irving’s Parents’ Fault,’ ‘Swimsuit Manufacturers’ Fault,’ and a simple ‘Ack!!’ in an assortment of fonts.” –Violet

And to give appreciation to our runners up!

“Um, does Milford High HAVE geeks? I’ve seen brutes, jocks, and ne’er-do-wells, but geeks?” –Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary

“This new Mary Worth storyline has so much potential — potential for DEATH!” –Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell

“We finally get a look at one of Alan’s paintings: a monochromatic cityscape. Well, I guess they say ‘paint what you know,’ and if there’s one thing Alan knows, it’s the view out the window of his studio. That, and shooting smack.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“You cannot make both art and money. Alan is still on drugs.” –doug rogers

“That’s right Lu Ann, go make that tea, men are talking. Your flighty blonde femininity would only dilute the raw masculinity that now permeates this room, neckerchiefs and polo shirts aside.” –Mr. Lemon

“I would like to make a guest appearance in [Funky Winkerbean] as a smiling killer. I’d like to see all the petty and smug expressions replaced with looks of abject horror as they realize they’re going to die … JUST … LIKE … LISA, but much faster. Of course, this story arc would appear only on the weekends so we could enjoy the main characters’ demise in four colors.” –trey le parc

“I like how the new [Gil Thorp] artist has quickly picked up on how the characters’ facial features tend to slide in random directions from panel to panel. Poor Mimi in panel two looks like a manufacturing mishap at an inflatable sex doll factory.” –Trilobite

“Ah, springtime. When a young man’s fancy turns to baseball, and vaguely homoerotic terminology for baseball.” –gkl

“It’s a good thing ‘the Mooch Man’ is content with singlehood, because anyone who goes around calling himself ‘the Mooch Man’ has no hope of ever marrying. Or dating. Or having pity sex.” –TheDiva

“I see Mary has learned post-Aldomania that her meddle-to-murder turnover was taking just too damn long the old way, so now she’s hassling people already on their deathbeds.” –Hawkeye

“It looks as if Swiss Guy has his eyes closed, which may account for his bad marksmanship. I’m not much of a shooter, myself, but keeping one’s eyes open seems key. Contrast that with the zombie-like stares of the ladies. They won’t miss, I assure you.” –nancois

“My point is, I think if I were a masked superhero protecting my secret identity’s wife from a villain, I wouldn’t call her by her nickname in front of him and then stuff money in his mouth. I’d say something like ‘STAND BACK MA’AM’ and then … use … my … powers … you know, this scenario just doesn’t fit Spider-Man at all. Never mind.” –kostia

We must also give a big thanks to everyone who put a bit of scratch in my tip jar this week! And, of course, we give big thanks to our advertisers:

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