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Dustin, 2/18/23

Look, I’m glad that Dustin’s dad being all “the women all use yoga as an excuse to dress like WHORES now and it makes me AROUSED” is the setup to this joke and not the punchline, but … we should see the shoes as part of said punchline, right? Like, we saw a lovingly drawn athleisurèd ass in panel one, so we should see Dustin’s dad’s bright white New Balances in panel two. It almost feels like the artist couldn’t figure out how to frame it properly, then decided, “Enh, whatever, it’s not like this is a visual medium or anything.”

Dennis the Menace, 2/18/23

“Aw, isn’t that sweet,” you’re probably thinking, like a fool. “Dennis cares about the snowman!” Hardly. Dennis created the snowman. He placed every piece of coal on its face, lovingly crafting the grimace it uses to indicate its discomfort. Dennis is the cruel demiurge that summoned the snowman’s soul out of the aether and entrapped it in a physical form that can know only pain.

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With exactly zero ado, here’s your comment … of the week!

“Dennis taunts his elderly neighbor by reminding him of the time in his blissful childhood when he was One, making no distinction between the self constructed for the outside world and his own inner dialogue. Dennis, on the other hand, both inhabits a world which is centered on himself and is self-aware to realize that the others are not like him in this regard. Menace level: existential!” –But What Do I Know?

And here’s your very funny runners up!

“All other strips are celebrating either the Super Bowl or Valentine’s Day, but I respect how Daddy Daze rejects the crass commercialism of these events. ‘Let’s make our own game of pretending we have no access to the outside world!’ says Daddy. ‘We’ll probably die!’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“For a strip supposed to be a heartwarming look at a divorced dad and his child as they contend with shared parental custody, all Daddy Daze really does to me is convince me that this guy should not have custody at all.” –ectojazzmage

“While Josh feels sorry for Hi, wondering why nobody wants to watch the Superbowl with him, I think there’s another side to this. We’ve seen Hi & Lois ‘watching the big game’ strips before, and I don’t remember it ever being a family activity. Usually, it’s Hi and Thirsty. But I guess Irma insisted that Dry January should stretch into February, and Thirsty doesn’t see the point in participating in male bonding rituals if he’s expected to do so with freaking soda, so Hi was forced into his second choice of spending time with his family, only to find out that actually, they’ve got their own (admittedly rather sad) plans, which they’ve probably developed over years of avoiding being in the living room while Dad and Thirsty are screaming at the TV.” –Horace Broon

“Come on, Rachel, pull yourself together. Slylock, however pompous he may seem, is not a doctor, and he has no real idea what to do about your necrotic tissue. ‘That’s an unlucky rabbit’s foot!’ is not a diagnosis.” –made of wince

“Of course Dagwood, from two cars back, correctly identifies the contents of the clown’s sandwich.” –Truckosaurus

“I’m shopping! I’m a real human being, with the wants and needs of an actual person! Thank goodness my needs can all be fulfilled commercially, either here or at the Happy Ending Massage Parlor!” –Buck Ripsnort

“Once again, I am just loving how impenetrable this strip makes itself to anyone but the most hardcore reader. ‘Sinatra’s Hideout,’ the dialogue box says. Is that a location, a statement or just a couple of random words to set the mood? Nevermind, let’s join our convoluted conversation already in progress!” –pugfuggly

“I realize Snuffy Smith has never been a strip to venture into the issues of the day (apart from a strip about a growing national ammo shortage maybe fifteen years ago), but it’s hard to miss the commentary on climate change. I don’t believe there’s anywhere in Appalachia where trees are in full leaf in the middle of February, at least during traditional climate, like the kind we used to have before rural electrification.” –Larry McAwful

“I choose to believe that Wilbur, having binged-ate Pierre’s leftover dog treats after the last break up with Estelle, has developed a secret taste for pet food and is using his goldfish as cover.” –Philip

“Give Leroy credit for having a water bottle and a yoga mat for his exercise regimen. He might not have the skill, but dammit he has the tools.” –TheDiva

“Namaste 250 feet away from me as ordered by a San Tobillo County judge, you freak!” –Old School Allie Cat

“What do you expect when you practice yoga at a voyeur friendly yoga studio? Wilbur had to muscle his way into position, shoving aside other stalkers and general pervs.” –Ned Ryerson

“This is like on of those thought experiments you learn about in economics 101 where a society’s whole economy is based on everyone doing each other’s laundry, only with drugs.” –Hibbleton

“The existence of animal-themed comic strips after the Animalapocalypse implies the existence of an animal Josh to mock them. Sorry Josh, no matter what you want, Slylock Fox will assign you a fursona!” –Ettorre

“Not to worry, the carpet is covered in PFAS! The kids might suffer neurological disorders, but that spill will clean right up!” –richardf8

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Slylock Fox, 2/17/23

From years of reading Slylock Fox together, we’ve come to understand that the world it depicts is one where the animals rose up against humans, exterminated most of them, and then went on to recreate human society the best they could, living in our cities, establishing political, legal, and economic structures that mimic our own, and so on. There’s been less attention spent on the animals’ cultural production, but here too we must assume that they’re following a human template, publishing animal-themed comics in animal-focused newspapers with punchlines that make animals laugh and make the few remaining humans go “Huh. Huh. Huh?”

Family Circus, 2/17/23

Look, Keane parents, you’ve lived with these children for several years now, and the fact that you’ve chosen to decorate your house with an endless expanse of pure white wall-to-wall carpet without regard for the very obvious consequences is entirely on you.

Mary Worth, 2/17/23

TIRED: Estelle keeps running into her ex, Wilbur, who she finds annoying
WIRED: Estelle, having succumbed to Wilburmadness, hallucinates her ex wherever she goes