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OK, kids, you know what time it is! Here’s this week’s top commment:

“GT: I guess the lesson is that girls shouldn’t play sports because they don’t think it’s okay to beat your own skull in and pin it on some other guy. Hey ladies, it wasn’t that kind of can’t-do attitude that made this country great.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

And the runners-up, hilarious as always:

“Who knew you could get hassled by the man for walking while black in Africa?” –Mac

“Pentagon Briefing, 3/31/07. Gen Halftrack, CO of Camp Swampy, was observed painting furniture on his porch by civilians. Recommended action: Assassination.” –reader-who-posts

“I see Mark’s friend, Dan, somewhere on a beach. A well-built man next to him says something in French; Dan doesn’t understand. The man repeats, in English: ‘It’s hot, no?’ Dan glances at the man over the top of his Ray-Ban sunglasses, takes a sip of a tall drink, and utters, ‘Yes, it’s hot.’ As the sun sets on the horizon, past tropical trees and ocean waves. Back in Lost Forest, Andy digs up the bones of Sally.” –Dingo

“Speaking of Albert Pinkham Ryder, I was fascinated by that Death on a Pale Horse painting as a kid. I had no idea the guy who painted it was so damned annoying. And boring.” –John C Fremont

“I love how Dennis’ mom’s face just reeks of epiphany. ‘Say…maybe birthing and cleaning the clothes of this poor man’s Fritz Katzenjammer ISN’T the pinacle of my existence!'” –Mack

“Were Margo to die, the decomposition of her rotting corpse would be more entertaining than Lu Ann.” –TurtleBoy

“Poor April. Now that she’s 16 she’s obliged to dress like a cross between Nikki Sixx and Ivana Trump. It’s Canadian law.” –Motorposus

“It’s nice to see that the ‘raising a little hell’ April’s birthday song referred to means ‘remaining a complete prude.'” –Tats

“GT: Those two may put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional, but we all know it’s Mary Worth that adds the ‘unction.'” –Foobar

“Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can — as long as someone else does it.” –Lizardmess

“Yeah, Liz seems to be in a Schrodinger’s Cat thing of simultaneously unresolved frump or babe. If we open the box, she … Heh. Open the box.” –Jack Parsons

“I say, bring back Gary Dent. He didn’t hide behind word balloons. He let his hands do the talking.” –True Fable

“The guy in panel 3 of Gil Thorp has some interesting glasses, insofar as you can’t see his son’s hand through the lenses. Maybe they live in Reversistan, where the whites of eyes are black and glasses are for not seeing.” –Steve S

“The holes the Mudlark baseball team have to fill include shortstop, middle reliever and gaping plot-.” –t.a.m.s.y.

“You know, other families stage interventions when somebody’s in a self-destructive spiral of booze, drugs, gambling, sex, or other debauchery. The Pattersons have staged an intervention to try and convince a grown man with a wife and family and over $25,000 in the bank that it’s time to buy a house and let his baby sister have her bedroom back.” –No Evil Monkeys

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B.C., 4/8/07

Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. and writer (or co-writer? I’ve never been able to nail this down exactly) of Wizard of Id died Saturday. Today’s Easter strip is perhaps appropriately typical of his later work: infused with his religious beliefs, and largely idiosyncratic and inscrutable (numerology?). He liked to take potshots at atheists, Darwinists, and Jews, and as an interested party I have a hard time not taking those personally, but I’m not going to write anything mean about him today. Instead, I’ll just note that the dude died at his drawing board. That’s hardcore.

Here’s the obit from the AP via CNN. One of the things that struck me was this bit:

Richard Newcombe, founder and president of Creators Syndicate in Los Angeles … said Hart was the first cartoonist to sign on when the syndicate was created 20 years ago. “Traditionally, comic strips were owned by syndicates,” Newcombe said. “We were different because we allowed cartoonists to own their own work. It was … Johnny’s commitment to this idea that made us a success.”

This is the end of the CNN version of the story, but faithful reader pesch (who works in a newsroom and has reason to know) adds this from a version of the story he’s seen:

Newcombe said B.C. and Wizard of Id would continue. Family members have been helping produce the strips for years, and they have an extensive computer archive of Hart’s drawings to work with, he said.

If I have any pull at all in the comics industry, I have to beg and plead for this not to happen. Say what you will for good or for ill about Hart’s work, but it has always struck me (despite that note about help from family members) as being indisputably his work. The best way to honor that would be for it to stand on its own, not to be continued by assistants cutting and pasting new dialogue into scans of old strips. Because of the way that comics publishing works, there will be a few weeks worth of Hart-authored strips still to run, but after that it should bow gracefully out. It may be hard to believe for younger folks, but Hart was one of a generation of young turks who shook up the comics page in the 1970s, and letting his strip continue in other hands denies that chance to others and diminishes what went before.

Some folks have already used other comment threads to argue vociferously about the best way to honor (or not) his memory. Feel free to work out your aggressions here; doing so elsewhere will get you sent to The Cockpit.

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Crankshaft, 4/8/07

A while back, I suggested that the name of this strip be changed from Crankshaft to the somewhat wordier but more accurate Jesus Christ, Ed Crankshaft Is Such An Asshole. I now think it should be stretched out to Jesus Christ, Ed Crankshaft And All The Other People In This Strip, Who Are Associated With Him In Some Way That I’m Not Clear On Despite The Fact That I’ve Read It Daily For Years, Are All A Bunch Of Assholes. I know your mom is a difficult and crotchety old lady, but dude. I hope you didn’t tell this heartwarming little anecdote to her aide right in front of her.

Hi and Lois, 4/8/07

Meanwhile, it appears that Hi and Lois’ pastor is a dirty rotten filthy hippie. Liberals!

Mary Worth, 4/8/07

I keep hoping — and keep being dissapointed, but hope does spring eternal — that each new character that comes into this strip will finally be the one that allows the Charterstone Mafia to see themselves and evil, petty, self-absorbed individuals that they are. Sadly, we all know that Vera will submit to the will of Mary and allow herself to be meddled into self-actualization by Mary and her minions, but I’d like to believe that the sneering young man in the final panel is meant to represent us, the readers. “Wait … you don’t know? Just look at the three of you lined up there. Why wouldn’t she run?”

And a couple of one-off panels:

Panel from The Phantom, 4/8/07

Most of this week’s Sunday Phantom just treaded water after last week’s, with this well-dressed trio being hassled by the Presidential Security Dragoons, but it was all worth it to see this awesome final panel, in which one of those ubiquitous executive rolling suitcase turns out to be filled with SCARY BONES AND STUFF. One might wonder how exactly this made it through the x-ray machines that are compulsory at airports everywhere now (yes, even in Africa), though if the NEXT box is any indication, perhaps they just laughed it off by telling airport security, “Oh, it’s okay — I’m in the death trade.”

Panel from Cathy, 3/8/07

Dot-ack? Dot-ack? All right, I admit it: this is a Cathy in-joke, and I found it funny. I would be willing to petition ICANN to create a .ack top-level Internet domain, which would be dedicated to Cathy-related content.