Comment of the Week

My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she's quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It's actually quite alarming! We're getting into I'm a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I'm trying to make.

els

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Purge on Wednesday, binge on Thursday, and now the inevitable aftermath.

I dislike political comics. Political messages throw characters, relationships, situations, and art — everything that makes good comics good — into the background. Entertainment suffers: even when you agree with their message, the biggest payoff you’re likely to get from a political strip is a smug chuckle at the expense of some imagined adversary. Thin gruel, by my lights.

When somebody raises a stink about their politics, the authors respond with self-promoting claptrap about freedom of speech, speaking truth to power, taking hard stands, making a difference, and other noble causes they have little talent to advance. Most of the time, they aren’t striking a damn blow for any damn thing – just wasting their talent on comics that read like speeches and billboards, and pretty soon start looking like them, too.

So here we go:

Day by Day, 2/1/07

This Web comic trying to make it to print chronicles four co-workers who have paired off and make ever more turgid speeches in ever more revealing poses. Typically, the heavy lifting happens in panel two, as some poor character has to wrench a labored setup into context for the “payoff.” This one makes no sense (Marie Antoinette was surely indulged and confused, but I don’t think she said the peasants were). I love how the cute redhead has to crouch to make room for the yak, yak, yak, . . . . Talk about forgetting your raison d’être, pal!

Doonesbury, 1/27/07

Doonesbury does characters, even public characters, better than anybody – check out that porcine fop Trump in panel 4. But his presidents are always ciphers – helmets, doughnuts, asterisks, and above all, speech bubbles rising out of buildings. I guess it avoids the tiresome task of humanizing them, and leaves more room for the yak, yak, yak. . . . Trudeau is is a genius at building characters like B.D. and Mark Slackmeyer across decades, but his political strips are just lazy.

Mallard Fillmore, 2/1/07

So here’s a picture of somebody writing a letter. About a radio show. And there’s a footnote – with a URL! Why not just put up a sign that says, “I got nothin’ – go someplace else”? I think papers carry this strip for “balance”, i.e., to shut up the Doonesbury critics so they can keep it on the comics page. A nice little irony for Mallard‘s author.

Get Fuzzy, 1/26/07

This is my favorite comic strip in the paper – consistently creative, character-driven comedy, great expressive artwork, and enough play at the borders of the medium to keep it interesting even in a slow week. But not last week. Last week, we got one of the best characters in comics – the peer of B.D., Ted Forth, or Snoopy – hiding behind a poster. Q.E. f’n D.

Are any political strips entertaining? I’d say Al Capp‘s takedown of Joe McCarthy in the ’50’s, and Aaron McGruder’s “Flagee and Ribbon” series after 9/11. I’m sure there have been others. But most of the time, entertainment isn’t the point, and certainly isn’t the result. Whether or not you agree with the politics, most political strips fail as comics.

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Okay okay okay! So after yesterday’s massive outpouring of Foobloathing, you’re probably thinking, “Thank Heaven there’s a place I can go to vent my spleen on the Foobs! Thank Heaven there’s a place I can commune with right-thinking people who share my contempt for crappy comics of all kinds! Thank Heaven somebody reads the comics so I don’t have to!”

But, gentle readers, we cannot take this blessing for granted! In fact, we hang suspended by the merest filament over a fiery pit! At any moment, Josh may awaken and decide to pour his talents and efforts into responsible efforts to support his family – forsaking our own narrow, selfish need to heap abuse on Foobs, Funkies, and Cathies through the day and into the night. Needless to say, we must not let this happen!

But what can we do to prevent such a disaster? The answer, dear readers, is to send money. And so I present the first-ever fund-raising Comics Curmudgeon Bake Sale!

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Post a tasty treat in the comments. This can be a special recipe of your own, a virtual treat you pick up at a local or Web-based bakery, or a sugary, snarky confection you whip up from the comics themselves.

Step 2: Hit the tip jar! It’s easy – just go here, click the credit-card link, and fill out the form – Visa or MasterCard will do, and PayPal’s even faster! If you’d rather send a check or a big block of unmarked bills, contact me at uncle.lumpy@yahoo.com and I’ll send mailing instructions.

Step 3: Come back and post your selection from the many fine cakes, pies, and cookies your fellow Curmudgeonites will have posted. Take your pick from Snarkerdoodles, DINGoDONGs, CHEnnuX Party Mix (it’s out of this world), and much, much, more! And of course, Aunt Lumpy has baked up a batch of her famous Nut Logs, the only snack with its own DRG Code! Go nuts!


FAQ

1. No, this isn’t a paid gig for me, and I have no access of any kind to the Tip Jar. All your generous contributions go directly to Josh and the upkeep of this fine site.
2. No, Josh doesn’t know anything about it.
3. Er, no, you won’t receive any actual baked goods! So – no calories, no carbs, no cholesterol, and of course, everything’s UL Approved®!
4. Yes, he did look a lot like Captain Kangaroo. Thank you for pointing that out!


How much to give? I use the “Movie Rule” – how much would you spend on tickets, parking, and popcorn to get equivalent enjoyment at the movies? A lot! Or, use the “Poteet Rule” – a lot of people spend $6.95 every month just to look at Poteet’s sweet, sweet cookies! Now, for just a few dollars more, you can have those tasty morsels all to yourself!

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Apartment 3G, 2/1/07

Ah, Tommie, Tommie. Don’t you know the nondescript, blue-suited brunette guy will only break your heart? The nondescript blonde guy is the way to go, even though he’ll never ring your bell. Blush on, girl – heartbreak ahead!

Mary Worth, 2/1/07

Ah, Mary, Mary. Halfway around the world, and yet you meddle. And Dr. Tran is a damn saint – I’d tear your freakin’ head off.

Mark Trail, 2/1/07

Fastest. Beavers. Ever.