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For Better Or For Worse, 6/14/06

Oh, c’mon, Jim, forget this “dividing your ashes” stuff: why not just dig up Marian, bring her back to Ontario, get a place with Iris, and then: yowza! Posthumous three-way!

OK, that was in poor taste. But I had to do something to distract myself from Iris’ grim, death-like visage in the final panel. I mean, Jesus, it looks like she’s ready to drag him off to the underworld right now.

Family Circus, 6/14/06

Ignoring the weird jingoism of this panel for the moment, I have to ask: what the hell are these two watching? Is it the Pictures Of Rocks Against A Blank Background With A Little Folded Index Card For A Label Channel? The ticker across the top of the screen would seem to indicate that they’re watching a cable news station of some sort, but surely there’s an attractive white woman missing somewhere that could preempt this crap.

Anyway, Billy, you just wait until Operation Martian Freedom is launched sometime in late 2007. Then you could can buy your space rocks without adding to America’s trading deficit, because we’ll own Mars’ shiny red space ass.

Shoe, 6/14/06

Holy crap, did the crazy roller-skating bird from Shoe just get propositioned? I’m so stunned by this development that I can’t even work up the energy to feel sorry for him because he screwed it up.

Get Fuzzy, 6/14/06

See, this is why we all love Satchel. Because when he wants you to be appear on a game show that he invents, he hand-delivers a formal invitation. In a sealed envelope.

I’m intrigued by Rob’s claim to be a “grown-up.” I’m not convinced, based on the evidence I’ve seen.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 6/14/06

TDIET takes time out from its usual fare — which is to say the insane, petty rantings of octogenarians — to illuminate the deep structural problems in America’s health care system. This is material so politically charged that usually only Rex Morgan dares to handle it, but TDIET discusses the crisis in its own trademark fashion: by ending with “Oh, yeah!”

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Momma, 6/13/06

I think if Samuel Beckett were to write a comic about the meaningless empty void at the heart of a lonely, embittered old woman, it would look something like this. He’d leave out the reaction shot in the third panel, though; Momma’s depressing hobbies speak for themselves.

Dennis the Menace, 6/13/06

While appreciate the fact that Dennis is annoying Mr. Wilson with some 50 Cent or Korn or whatever the hell it is kids listen to today to annoy old people, and the fact that Joey is continuing to wear that incomprehensible pink belly shirt, I have to say that after some exhaustive research I’ve come to the conclusion that this panel contains no jokes of any kind. Ignoring for the moment the fact that nobody actually calls it “kids’ music”, the sentence is set up so that it seems like “drives grownups crazy” is supposed to be some play on words, despite the fact that it so clearly is not. Instead, Dennis is just saying “We like music that they don’t!” Mr. Wilson should punch him.

Mary Worth, 6/13/06

“I have to hand it to you Kelly! Living with a knife-wielding stab-frenzied maniac like me! I know it isn’t easy!”

Seriously, I hate to call for a savage knife attack, but it’s the only thing that would liven this up. She’s got one too — maybe they can manage to kill each other off, Hamlet-style.

Hi and Lois, 6/13/06

Note to Hi and Lois: if you draw your punchline and then have to have a character explain it, it’s probably time for a rethink.

In Finger Quotin’ Margo news, it looks like even Hollywood superstars are trying to get in on the action. Check out the video below; around the thirty second mark, you’ll see Britney Spears perpetrate the most misguided finger quotes in the history of television journalism.

(This is the first time I’ve tried to put one of these YouTube thingies on my site, so let me know if it causes something to go horribly wrong.)

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The Finger Quotin’ Margo lookalike contest has been in full swing for a week now, and we’ve already received a host of entries! I’d sure like to get more though, because I’m greedy like that. So, I’m going to share the entries I’ve received so far with you all now in the hopes that they will inspire more of you to go for the gold.

(Remember, kids, these entrants are your fellow readers, commentors, and community members, and they’ve shown more guts than you in entering, so BE NICE. By “nice” I mean both “not mean” and “not creepy.” You’ve been warned.)

Let’s start by taking a look at the finger quotin’ original:

And now the contestants, in no particular order. Some of their handles may be familiar to those of you who haunt the forums or the comments. First off is Air Forbes:

Next is RetroVirus:

Then comes Bria:

And finally comes a wife-husband team that wishes to be known as “Lucy Ven Pelt” and “Dr. Jeff Cory”, respectively:

So! Will one of these brave contestants grace the face of a future Comics Curmudgeon product, available for purchase from the good people at CafePress? Or will YOU bust that fuchsia turtleneck sweater out of the closet and claim the crown yourself? The only way to find out is to reach for the brass ring and e-mail me those pictures! The deadline is Monday, June 19 (that’s a week from today), and I’ll figure out the winner by the end of that week.

Oh, and our contest inspired David Willis, the totally awesome cartoonist behind the totally awesome Shortpacked! and Joyce and Walky, to produce this totally awesome Warholified Margo:

Because David is totally awesome, he’s given me permission to use it on a product of some sort, which will be ready by the time the contest winners are announced. So go read his strips, already!