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Panels from: Apartment 3-G, Rex Morgan, M.D., For Better or for Worse, Mary Worth, Mark Trail, 2/24/06

With apologies to Dusty Springfield:

The look of love
Is in your eyes
The look your smile can’t disguise

The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say

And what my heart has heard
Well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you
Feel my arms around you

How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you

You’ve got the look of love
It’s on your face
A look that time can’t erase
Be mine tonight

Let this be just the start
Of so many nights like this
Let’s take a lover’s vow
And then seal it with a kiss

Now that I have found you
Don’t ever go
Don’t ever go
I love you so

Have a romantic weekend, everyone. I hope it’s going to happen for you.

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Gil Thorp, 2/23/06

See, now this is why I never wanted to play sports in high school. To catch up those of who don’t follow the Thorpmeisters: Ted Pearse (he of the Mary Tyler Moore ‘do) has just this week had his big secret revealed in a very public fashion by the legendarily vile Marty Moon. It seems that his laid back “man of mystery” demeanor covered up the fact that he lives in a homeless shelter with his out-of-work mom. He kept mum because he was terrified that his chums would reject him if they found out about his hobo status; this is the second time in as many days that he’s used that “being homeless isn’t contagious” line. But in this heartwarming strip, his teammates show their love for and acceptance of him by this little stunt — it’s like when a child goes through chemo and his classmates all shave their heads in solidarity — and Ted’s so happy that he looks like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life.

Except that they’re showing their love and acceptance by playing to his worst fears and pretending that homelessness is contagious. It’s as if that little kid’s classmates didn’t shave their heads, but instead covered themselves with ghoulish makeup and held up signs that read YOU HAVE CANCER AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE. I mean, Jesus, if this is how they treat their friends, I wonder what they do to people they don’t like. Presumably the wet towels will come out in a minute and the savage ass-whippings will commence. All in good fun, of course.

Ted’s homelessness was correctly predicted weeks ago in the by some smarty in the comments of this very blog, who should step forth and take a bow. One thing I should note about Ted is his collection of deeply groovy retro shirts. Presumably he’s been able to get these at the thrift stores to which his poverty condemns him because mega-squaresville Milford is utterly lacking in the sort of slumming, underemployed hipsters who would snatch them up in the big city.

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Momma, 2/22/06

Ah, Francis, hero to layabouts everywhere. Nothing says “I’ve given up on life” like looking at Internet pornography while your mother is right there in the room. I do like the evocative triptych of middle panels, which helps us grasp the flow of time in the strip’s narrative. “Not porn … not porn … not porn … hello!”

Who do you think would be the heavy hitters on “Lady Prime Ministers Gone Wild?” Here are my top four:

Edith Cresson (Prime Minister of France, 1991-1992)

Tansu Ciller (Prime Minister of Turkey, 1993-1996)

Kim Campbell (Prime Minister of Canada, June-November 1993)

Benazir Bhutto (Prime Minister of Pakistan, 1988-1990, 1993-1996)

Yes, I am a huge dork. I admit that for a minute I believed that the strip actually intended us to believe that Francis was looking at “Lady Prime Ministers Gone Wild.” It was like the time I thought I saw the guy at the video store renting a porno called Specs Appeal and I assumed it was all girls wearing glasses but then it turned out that it was just Pecs Appeal and he was gay.

Speaking of hot, hot parliamentary democracy: Holy socialized medicine, everyone, Paul the Mountie just grabbed Liz’s ass!

OK, so I guess technically he’s holding her up by her ass, but there’s still palm-to-heinie contact. I’m not sure which of today’s comics I expected to see grabass in, but For Better Or For Worse wasn’t it. I guess I should be thankful that it wasn’t Momma.