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Mary Worth, 10/11/05

I’ll translate for those of you who don’t speak Biddy: “Jeff, you’re not going to be having sex anytime soon. But it’ll build character!“

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Apartment 3-G, 10/09 (last panel) and 10/10/05

If you read Sunday’s Apartment 3-G, you might have been fooled into thinking that something — anything — was going to happen this week. Ha! Lu Ann’s freaked-out head bobble turned out to be entirely a result of a bad phone connection. She goes from wide-eyed panic to heavy-lidded, opium-numbed satisfaction in just two panels. This is even lamer than Spider-Man’s narrative delaying tactics from a few months ago. At least Tommie got to look on in sympathetic horror briefly, which is more than she usually has to work with.

Incidentally, in panel two Scott is looking an awful lot like former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay:

Maybe he thinks working with retarded Dominican children will get people to forget the whole indictment thing?

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The Phantom, 10/9/05

Maybe I still have weddings on the brain, but there was nothing in Sunday’s comics more amusing than the wedding flashback in the final panel of The Phantom. And I thought we had an eclectic guest list! Mr. and Mrs. Walker (for GHOST-WHO-WALKS, everybody!) apparently invited, from right to left: a shirtless white dude; a Native Canadian fresh from FBOFW’s pow-wow; a sad clown from a velvet painting; Bruce Willis; a top-hatted fop; a Keebler Elf in a cone hat; and, of course, Rex Morgan’s Buck, before graduate school reduced him to a pus-encrusted drifter. The groom apparently couldn’t even be bothered to put on a tie for the occasion. Why not take some sartorial cues from President Luaga, Ghost-Who-Has-Only-Two-Outfits? He seems like quite the natty dresser.

Incidentally, what exactly is the Phantom doing with his left hand in the second panel of the second row? It looks like he’s about to pick a chocolate out of a sampler box on the president’s desk … very dramatically.