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Hagar the Horrible, 8/25/05

If I’ve ever complained about the lack of historical accuracy in Hagar the Horrible, I take it all back. In comic strips that take place in pre-modern times, there’s certain aspects of the setting that make for fun jokes (like funny clothes and technical backwardness) and certain aspects that do not (like pressuring your underage children into marriage).

Tune in next week when Honi dies in childbirth at the age of 19. Oh, the hilarity!

All this Viking daughter-pimping hasn’t distracted me from today’s special guest appearance in Rex Morgan, M.D., though:

Secret talks with oil barons? Fixed intelligence on Iraq? Tender, delicious puppies, cooked just the way he likes them? That’s right, baby: Dick Cheney always gets what he wants.

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You may think that you’re a dedicated fan of this blog: you comment on the front page, you comment in the forums, you wear your Comics Curmudgeon gear in public to the embarrassment of your spouse. But have you sent me an umbrella decorated with comic strips? No, of course you haven’t — unless you’re Sam Garst, that is.

Sam claims in his e-mail signature to be a “VP of Engineering” at a company that shall remain nameless to stave off its humiliation. Apparently, once you’re at the VP level, you’re just made of umbrellas. Many thanks, Sam, for helping me keep dry and watch Ziggy get all wet at the same time.

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Mark Trail, 8/23/05

Mary Worth has taught us that a few hours in the horror show that is a women’s shelter can cure alcoholism; now Mark Trail is here to illustrate that some clean, honest fun in a canoe is a sure-fire cure for sociopathy. Mark my words, Lady MacAscot here is going to love fishing so much that she’ll forget all about her plan to murder Boyd. Great Outdoors 1, Evil 0.

Fortunately for this storyline, there’s still no cure for rabies. Each day I pray for the first flecks of foam on El Presidente’s lips. Please, Elrod, make it soon, I beg of you!