EVERYBODY! Next week, if you’re in LA, you should come to The Internet Read Aloud on, 10/7 at 7 pm, at the Clubhouse! It will be fun and you should not miss it. Here is the Facebook event!
“I read that wrong and assumed that the cold cuts were what was clogging the sink in the first place, and he dug them out and was amazed at how much there was. That feels closer to an actual Blondie joke than what we were given.” –The Rambling Otter
“Film is so luminous … like Crankshaft’s eyes in the dark. What is he, a raccoon or something?” –Peanut Gallery
“I think we’re starting to see why the most recent owners of the Valentine weren’t successful. They tried to turn it into a strip club, but it was the kind of strip club that didn’t have a bar, or a stage, or erotic dancers, or anything a strip club typically has, and instead had theater seating, and a theater lobby, and film projectors, and instead of alcohol and sexy strippers they instead had popcorn and The Phantom Empire running on repeat.” –jroggs
“I also advise patients to brush after every meal, so I’m stopping home home to practice what I preach. I’ll be walking, so it might take a while. Don’t go anywhere.” –Inspector Gotcha
“Why not go for a swim? That ought to burn some calories, and the ocean is right there. Also, if I want medical advice I’ll go to Rex Morgan. Stay in your lane, Mary Worth.” –Anonymous (but not that one)
“So Henry just tears across meadows to get to wherever? And Dennis think he’s the menacing one?” –The Greathan
“For anyone who doubts Sam is actually a lawyer — or at least pretending to be one — today reveals he has the most important legal prop there is: a bookcase of monochromatic books. The tan ones could be any of the U.S. Reports series for Federal law. The blue and red books are probably subject-matter tomes (I have a row of blue ones for Search and Seizure and a row of red ones for National Security Investigations, for example). Now it’s possible he just bought them at an estate sale because he’d seen enough legal TV shows to know he needed rows of monochromatic books. But maybe he’s an actual bar certified lawyer, and in that case, may God help his clients.” –Voshkod
“Robbing a bank to build their spaceship seems a little dark, even for this strip.” –Where’s Rocky
“You can tell when someone is just throwing smart sounding words they vaguely know together to write a sesquipedalian character. They always try too hard. Like, I don’t care how many dictionaries you own, when you’re hopping on one leg because a piano ate your sock, you ain’t saying ‘betwixt.’” –jerp+jump
“Well of course time is their enemy! If it ever stops being 1986, Kaz is in trouble!” –2+2=7
“Jessica plans to rocket the gun from the dying planet Earth to Krypton, where it will grow to have powers far beyond that of mortal guns.” –Dr. Larry Erhardt
“Hi shows the high and low — pun full intended — of the middle-aged man’s libido. As his blonde wife extends her arms and presents herself to him, he insists that he has changed his mind about watching TV. But seeing her hideous orange sweater, he sourly notes there’s too much on and retreats to his sofa, his crushed desires sated by articles on the LIV and Rory’s amazing 2022.” –KMD
“‘I thought you were going to watch TV!’ Does Lois think you need to make an appointment or something? It’s OK, he can still turn it on at any time!” –pugfuggly
“I am kind of enjoying the picture of Siri as this fierce guardian of my accounts, rather than something that is capable of telling me the weather if she happens to recognize that I am asking.” –Rube
“Ho ho, just wandering my giant yard drinking coffee in the middle of the day, as you do. Ah, and there’s my neighbor, up to the exact same thing, simply wandering the boundaries of his property as he self-caffeinates. Perhaps a leisurely chat about his good-for-nothing son, who sat around all day doing nothing the whole summer. Can you imagine! Wherever would he get such an idea that that’s acceptable behavior!” –Thelonious_Nick
“For $18 a pop, Sam better be getting the entire police file, a key to the evidence room, and free use of a squad car on weekdays so he can play with the lights and siren.” –Inspector Gotcha
“You can see waitress Lila inwardly praying that Hank Jr. doesn’t have a grandson she’ll be contractually obligated to date someday.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“‘They’re the ones who choose the path they walk.’ Sounds like a setup for these two to stroll right off the end of the pier.” –cheech wizard
“When your bill says ‘pumpkin spice latte’ but your eyes say ‘4:20 blaze it, chickens.'” –pastordan
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