Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/26/22

A lot of you seemed to think that Mary and Jeff’s dinner date was just a little palate cleanser before we moved on to the next, actual storyline. A lot of you apparently thought wrong! This strip will be delivering Mary Worth in: Ambulatory digestion until you beg for Wilbur seeming to be dead but then not actually being dead or whatever.

Judge Parker, 9/26/22

I dunno, Steve, Sam’s fallen on some hard times since Abbey kicked him off of her vast landholdings, and I hear the meth gangs play pretty well. He already has extensive contacts in the illicit drug trade, so maybe this isn’t the best of all possible plans?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/26/22

I guess the joke here is supposed to be “Ha ha, Li’l Sparky is an influencer, like on Instagram and such!”, but that assumes the target readership of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith is familiar with that meaning of the word “follower,” and that is not a bet I personally would’ve made.

Dennis the Menace, 9/26/22

Oh, snap, looks like Dennis just got reaaaall menacing towards the property tax exemption for religious organizations!

Pluggers, 9/26/22

CLOCK’S TICKING, PLUGGERS

CLOCK’S

TICKING

Post Content

Blondie, 9/25/22

This is another great example how the top row of “throwaway” panels can actually really alter the meaning of a strip. Without them, it’s the simple story of a plumber (with a gambling problem?) who comes over the Bumstead house only to be distracted by a big platter of cold cuts (that has just been left out on the kitchen counter?). With them, we see Blondie’s warning to not let the man “get away,” so it becomes the story of a plumber (with a gambling problem?) whom the Bumsteads plan to capture and do something unspeakable to, and they’ve left out a big platter of cold cuts out on the kitchen counter, as bait.

Crankshaft, 9/25/22

It’s fun to remember that Mason Jarre, when first introduced into the Funkyverse, was a dumb Hollywood himbo who signed on to play Les in the original, “bad” (i.e., potentially enjoyable to watch) movie version of Lisa’s Story, but now that he’s become part of our beloved gang, his an insufferable snob about physical film and classic movies or whatever. I suppose it’s possible that we’re meant to understand that he’s matured as a person over the years, but it’s more likely that the Funkyverse simply cannot accommodate a sympathetic character who isn’t obsessed with classic film stuff. Still, the interpretation I’d really prefer is that in fact he’s supposed to be as big a dipshit as ever; it’s just that this is what he’s a dipshit about now.

Mark Trail, 9/25/22

God damn it, Mark Trail, this strip very much begins with a promise of horny toads learning to work together as a team, and by rights ought to end with Monsanto’s hired security goons being forced back into corporate HQ by geysers of eye-blood from a whole horny toad army, and I am very disappointed that it does not.

Post Content

Judge Parker, 9/24/22

Oh, gee, I guess we’ve been spending so much time exploring the wildly seesawing emotional conditions inside the heavily fortified Spencer-Driver compound that we haven’t noticed that Cavelton at large has become a violent, drug cartel-ruled hellscape. This should work out great for Abbey when she becomes mayor, as she’ll be able to use a brutal crackdown on the gangs and the accompanying suspension of constitutional protections for defendants as a cover to go after her enemies, ex-mayors and ex-husbands alike.

Hagar the Horrible, 9/24/22

Aw, isn’t that romantic? Hagar and his band of Vikings have apparently established a trade route to Mesoamerica, but are keeping it a secret from anyone but their most beloved family members. Also, Hagar’s a terrible alcoholic (less romantic).

Hi and Lois, 9/24/22

I would not advise Hi to buy the contents of a mysterious POD from some guy who, as far as I know because I’ve never seen him in the strip before, just showed up in the neighborhood today! I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure you’re accepting responsibility for however many corpses are in there if you do this.