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Shoe, 3/22/22

A few years ago during a big family Thanksgiving gathering, I looked up to see my seventysomething mother and her siblings sitting on the couch all fiddling with their phones, and I posted a picture of it with the caption “Darn those millennials!” or something like that. I did this not to be mean to them — I too had been fiddling with my phone just minutes earlier despite being in a room full of family that I hadn’t seen in months — but to make the point that our gadgets are inherently addictive and people of all ages find it hard to tear ourselves away from them. I genuinely appreciate that today’s Shoe features two late-middle-aged bird men sitting at a diner counter looking at their phones, a scene (other than the bird part) that would be utterly unremarkable in real life but which most fiction has failed to keep up with. I especially appreciate it because presumably the main audience for Shoe is older and maybe prone to thinking of gadget love as an affliction of the young. Is the way to break these diabolical machines’ grip to remind people that they could be having sex instead of staring at their phone? I’m not convinced, but I’m glad Shoe is giving this messaging strategy a try.

Crankshaft, 3/22/22

Sure, it’s taken a generation or two, but at least someone in this family knows that the best way to avoid learning truly horrible things or hearing terrible puns is to just talk to other people as little as possible. Max and Mindy could be completely free of this nonsense by just moving out of their parents’ house entirely, but this will do in a pinch.

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Crankshaft, 3/21/22

Pam. Pam. Your father is an enthusiastic gardener who loves to order stuff from the Bean’s End catalog. That’s a giant bag labelled “Bean’s End Mulch.” Why on earth do you feel like you need to ask what that is? You know what it is! It’s a goddamn bag of mulch! Asking this question can only set up a terrible joke, or at minimum extend a conversation with Crankshaft. Do you want that? Do you think any of us want to watch that? C’mon!

Dick Tracy, 3/21/22

Never let it be said that Dick Tracy is a character without nuance! For instance, you’d think a tough guy cop would be irritated when his foppish theater pal wants him to take time out of his busy work day to come see a celebrity impersonator he plans to represent. But no, Dick’s fine with that. It’s only a problem when the new talent parodies a cacophonic singer who almost killed him! That’s the line you shouldn’t cross with him, no matter what.

Mary Worth, 3/21/22

Not sure why you would’ve ever doubted that Ian’s colleagues all dislike him, but today’s strip pretty much confirms that Ian’s colleagues all dislike him.

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Rex Morgan, M.D, 3/20/22

So, we’ve already established that Sarah will suffer no consequences for possibly accidentally amnesia-plagiarizing her lucrative new characters, “the Doggo Twins,” from her erstwhile art teacher. But were you harboring some worries that she really was ripping them off, which might count against her mortal soul, even though she can’t remember it? Well, fear not: she didn’t. I honestly love how this could’ve been a “ha ha, we can laugh about it now” moment but Rex is actually very interested in the exonerative aspects of this sketchbook. “So, is there a date in there anywhere? Something legible? Something that would hold up in court?”

Daddy Daze, 3/20/22

The line between “Ha ha, this certainly is a relatable strip about the highs and lows of being a single parent!” and “The Daddy Daze daddy is having a hard time. A hard time. Here’s got problems, a lot of problems” is thin, but I feel like we crossed it a while back at high speed and are showing no signs of stopping or even slowing down.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 3/20/22

I’m sorry, Leroy is four feet tall, tops, he definitely does not wear size 10 shoes.