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Marvin, 5/2/22

Ha ha, just look at the dead eyes on Jeff throughout this comic! He has absolutely been anticipating the day his wife is going to leave him for years, and he’s not happy about it but he’s basically numb to the prospect at this point, so might as well get it over with! Anyway, she is going to break some very bad news, Jeff, in the sense that Marvin is staying.

Mary Worth, 5/2/22

“He reconnected with the love of his life, leaving me free to pursue a hot and emotionally meaningless sexual relationship with a college stud. Honestly, he fixed a lot of my problems.”

Crankshaft, 5/2/22

Speaking of fixing problems, it looks like Crankshaft and his entire family are about to be killed when a huge asteroid smashes into the Earth! The rest of the human race will be wiped out as well, of course, but it’s honestly a small price to pay.

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Gasoline Alley, 5/1/22

I gotta say, this Gasoline Alley was a real journey for me, in the sense that the opening title led me to hope that, finally, Rufus and Joel, my least favorite characters out of a cast in which I don’t like anybody, would be horribly murdered by some kind of undead fiend who drained their bodies of blood, but then it turns out to be some kind of weird meta-thing involving people and details I refuse to research further. On the bright side, though, we do get pretty solid confirmation at the end that our rustic duo are thoroughly illiterate.

Blondie, 5/1/22

Look, if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when comics stretch out what could’ve been been a weekday strip to fill the Sunday panels and trash all their world-building and continuity in the process. What I’m saying is that Dagwood has exactly one friend, and it’s Herb, and they don’t even like each other. I have no idea who these other two people are. I assume they’re Dagwood’s neighbors whom he vaguely knows, and they’re being a lot more polite about this than I would be.

Mary Worth, 5/1/22

Mary Worth, on the other hand, often does a pretty good job of doing a Sunday strip that’s mostly a recap of the week’s plot but contains one little detail that rewards you for reading it in addition to the dailies. Today, that detail is Ian’s little note in the fourth panel. Ian is 100% a guy who would have an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student that was destined to leave her emotionally fucked up for decades and then write “with much affection” in her yearbook.

Pluggers, 5/1/22

Hey, look, buddy, the point of Pluggers is to use furries to illustrate down-home real American anecdotes that manage to be self-deprecating and smug at the same time, OK? It is not a venue for working out your extremely petty and very specific marital grievances, do better everybody

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Mary Worth, 4/30/22

Yes, Toby and Ian certain seem to have a good marriage, Mary! Say, remember the time Ian made Toby pretend to cook dinner for his boss while she was trying to work on her art show so she briefly left him and had to lay low at your place until you got tired of that and convinced her to go back? That’s definitely the sort of thing that happens when you have a strong relationship bond! Unlike you and Jeff, who barely speak to one another.

Gil Thorp 4/30/22

Speaking that of things that are good and strong, check out Kaz’s mullet! Truly resplendent. Resplendent and unmoving. Seriously, that swoop is holding at an almost identical angle in both panels one and three, just king of hovering off his neck in the latter. Has he hairsprayed it so vigorously as to render it immobile? Or is the whole thing just an elaborate styrofoam headpiece?