The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Comments are closed

Mostly smug dads edition

Post Content

Marvin, 3/3/22

Man, Jeff’s facial expressions here are a real journey — and not, to be clear, a journey I enjoyed. In panel one he’s very excited, and if you didn’t know what this strip’s whole deal was, you might think he likes to cook and is happy to help out with tonight’s dinner. But, nope, it turns out he’s just thrilled to let his wife know that her cooking sucks in a new, hilarious way! His facial expression in the final panel is positively post-orgasmic. Obviously these two don’t have sex anymore because the last time they did they created Marvin, so I guess this is the only way Jeff can get off.

Crankshaft, 3/3/22

I touched on this last week, but, like — a year ago? two years ago? who can even say — there was an excruciating two weeks of Crankshaft strips where this one-armed guy with a beard, who apparently was the last employee at the local newspaper, went to New York and gave a long, indignant speech about corporate media control to the manager of the hedge fund who owned the newspaper and then quit. It was so boring that I never talked about it on this blog, and I’m reasonably sure we had never even met this character before, but I guess we’re finally getting the payoff to it because as I predicted the mysterious meeting was about launching a community newspaper, which is all well and good. But said meeting was organized (and the project funded?) by the historical society lady, and our ace reporter is about to learn that his new paymaster can be as controlling as any hedge fund. Is the Fire Department running a prostitution ring right of the firehouses? That can wait, because this lady’s rival for the PTA presidency is about to be destroyed by the free press.

Dustin, 3/3/22

“Ha, it’s funny, because we’re on the verge of financial ruin due to your mother’s neglect! Anyway, I’m just gonna keep eating this tiny cookie like a dipshit.”

Comments are closed

Mopey Pete aims to shatter the mope barrier into megamope status

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 3/2/22

I truly enjoy the fact that these two old timer comics artist have been dragged out of retirement (one of them was actually dragged back to life from the realm of ghosts and spirits) to add a little Golden Age verve to Atomik Comix, only to be told they should do a comic where their super-powered heroes should battle, like, a metaphor, man. Their facial expressions in the final panel are absolutely appropriate.

Beetle Bailey, 3/2/22

TIRED: Sarge and Beetle’s public antagonism is a cover for a secret sexual relationship that has a lot less reason to be secret now that gay service members can serve openly.
WIRED: Pvt. Blips and Spc. Gizmo are a couple of real freaks whose kinks cannot be accommodated by banal physical reality. They spend all day plugged into their Oculus Rifts and teledildonic rigs so they can enjoy the experience of 69ing each other in the metaverse as two unicorns with multiple sets of genitalia or whatever. These kids are the nastiest people in this comic and I am here for it.

Blondie, 3/2/22

I was about to say that a doctor saying, “C’mon, can’t you open wider than that?” to a child would be fine but saying it to an adult would be extremely creepy. But isn’t Dagwood essentially a child, with his constant cheerful indulgence of his own appetites, his love of dressing up, and his inability to take his job seriously? He definitely should be condescended to like an 8-year-old and his doctor knows it. Anyway, he also has throat cancer.

Comments are closed

Not sure what else Leroy would be doing other than this, I guess, this is his only hobby

Post Content

Blondie, 3/1/22

Sorry, I know Blondie loves nothing more than mash together their characters’ extremely broadly defined character traits with whatever “topical content” they can think of, but I have to call bullshit on this one. Sure, Dagwood Bumstead 1.0, the wealthy, dissolute failson, would’ve hopped on the Panama Limited in Chicago and turned his Pullman Car into an impromptu speakeasy before rolling into New Orleans the next morning, then spent the next week in a gin and ether haze throwing beads at flappers. But 2022 Dagwood Bumstead is a smug, polo-shirt wearing suburbanite who doesn’t spend any time in whatever city his suburb is next to and he absolutely isn’t going to some gross place like New Orleans where he might see poor people enjoying themselves in an uncouth manner. I suppose it’s possible he used the request to get Mr. Dithers to “compromise” on letting him dress like a jackass at work, but I honestly don’t think Dithers needs much prompting to let Dagwood embarrass himself in public.

Mary Worth, 3/1/22

Cal and Toby’s frisbee banter is very weird, as they’re repeatedly complimenting each other on their skills at an extremely simple pastime for children. I’m wondering if Cal is supposed to be an Ultimate Frisbee player, which is somewhat more difficult, but the syndicate made them take out “Ultimate” because it wasn’t relatable or maybe was trademarked, and then the artist interpreted the resulting dialogue by having these two just hurling a frisbee at each other with maximum force from like two feet away.

The Lockhorns, 3/1/22

Gotta love the little puff of breath in front of Leroy, telling you this is a cold day. He could’ve stayed home, or in the car, but he braved the chill to follow Loretta right up to the door of the spa so he could lob this little poison dart at her at the very last minute and ensure that the entire experience was ruined for her.