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Let’s roll into summer with the comment … of the week!

“I assume this is the same hardware store where Hi buys his hair fixatives.” –Joe Blevins

And the very funny runners up!

“God uses Excel to handle reams of complex data? That tracks. Strong Boomer energy. But what I want to know is what version of Excel he’s using. Are macros enabled? (Of course they are. Boomer energy.) With the right information, we can commit specific sins to serve as a data injection attack, wiping out God’s ledger and redeeming all our past transgressions.” –Nevin, on Patreon

“If you’re going to have an existential crisis, I suppose it’s better to do it while spending the day riding horses at your gorgeous family ranch, and not, say, while waiting tables, or digging ditches, or coding backgrounds for an addictive phone game while counting the hours until AI takes your job. Oh, wait, they had to bring the horses from the next ranch over? Never mind, their lives suck too!” –BigTed

“With no prior knowledge of this strip, I can only assume it takes place in some dystopian future where the entire concept of fictional entertainment is an obscure novelty, and where any form of verbal dissent is harshly punished. Hearing his friend use the word ‘unneat’ is enough to make Skip perspire in terror.” –Guts Dozier

“What Wilbur and Dawn don’t know is that Mary has been feeding them small doses of poison in her muffins and beige squares for years, in order to build up their immunity. It was to prevent them from committing suicide caused by her meddling (which is why she had to flee to Santa Royale to begin with). This is, of course, something she learned from watching The Princess Bride, another classic film neither Wilbur nor Dawn have ever watched.” –Philip

“This a nice change of pace from ‘Andy is a alcoholic’ to ‘Andy is clinically depressed.’” –Ettorre

“We did it! We caught the ball, even in the face of increasing Dutch angles!” –pugfuggly

“I like the guy with the black hair in the white button-down shirt. Everyone else is celebrating but he’s just mildly pleased, as if he’s the only one who remembers that this is just the end of another mediocre Milford soccer season and there’s no point getting all worked up about it.” –TheDiva

“How long do you think the writer spent reading Wikipedia articles about fish genitalia with increasing horror before settling on ‘suck fin?’” –Schroduck

“I actually did not know there was another Avatar movie coming out this year and I can’t imagine a worse way I could have learnt about it than this.” –Veronica

“Dennis takes his hand off the switchblade in his back pocket. This middle-aged fool just gave him the perfect opening for some finely crafted verbal menacing. ‘A bachelor,’ he exclaims. Checkmate.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The Sideburns of Near-Fame have been passed to an heir! All hail the new King of shaggy mediocrity!” –Wilktoast

“The Mormon missionaries at the door don’t know what’s coming. I hope they’re prayed up and ready to confront the demoness inside.” –Daisy

“MELP MELP cries Sweetie. MUSTACHE HELP, GET MUSTACHE HELP. Sadly, like most therapy dogs, her advice will go unheeded.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I love the way Belle is staring right at that onomatopoeia box so it makes it look like she’s cursing directly at it. ‘MELP MELP’ is better, but the artwork gives ‘DING DONG’ the edge in today’s onomatopoeia wars.” –Astroboy

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Gil Thorp, 6/6/25

Deep in the 2020 pandemic lockdowns, I decided that the dream of the ’90s had finally well and truly died, and I shaved off my goatee and then grew in a full beard that I’ve maintained ever since (apologies to all if it unnerves you to learn that my caricature in this blog’s logo is not fully accurate, facial hair-wise). Marty clung onto the Evil Spock look for another five years, but now, as part of his strategy to get his life together, he’s gone with the mustachio’d look that an increasing number of the kids today seem to like. And it’s clearly a good move: he’s already going to sub for his replacement on some terrible morning radio talk show, mere minutes after getting home from the barber who ceremonially sheared him! I like the fact that his dog is licking his mustache clean, presumably to get the last of the facial hair food residue that he’s used to feasting on.

Mary Worth, 6/6/25

Wilbur and Dawn’s poisoned dinner continues to go great, and by “great” I mean “insanely,” with both Westons continuing to talk like everything is basically normal despite being clearly convinced that Belle is going to disembowel them with a spoon. I love that all intra-Weston solidarity is out the window at this point, with each hoping to be the one person that whoever’s at the door is going to save, leaving the other to their fate at Belle’s hands.

Mother Goose and Grimm and Zits, 6/6/25

Polyamory! You’re hearing about it more and more, and lots of people are saying, “Why not? Let’s give it a try!” Well, the syndicated newspaper comics aren’t having it, do you hear them? They’re not having it.

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Dennis the Menace, 6/5/25

I know that “ha ha, this little boy is repulsed by the idea of heteronormativity” is one of Dennis the Menace’s go-tos, but to do a “Dennis says something inappropriate in front of strangers who have never been in the Mitchell household before and, after this incident, will never be there,” the stakes need to be higher. Like he should be saying this to a woman, or a couple, or should be saying “I’m gonna be a confirmed bachelor — that’s what my dad says you are!” As it is, this is just kind of a non sequitur that this random grown-up can smile and nod at before returning to his normal conversation with Henry. And honestly, this announcement is a little confusing! You’re going to be a bachelor when you grow up? What are you now, married? To whom?

Gil Thorp, 6/5/25

Ha ha, Keri’s just kidding! They’re not getting back together! Unless … why are they touching each other so much. With their hands. Their big giant hands. All the better to touch each other with! You know, sexually.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/5/25

Oh, man, what are the chances, Truck’s bastard kid is also a working-class musician??? In this strip?????? Incredible. What genres do you think he’s into? Roots country? Rockabilly? Surf guitar? Garage rock? It’s one of those, right? Those are the only ones?