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Gil Thorp, 8/23/22

Ohhhh, I get it now! All that bluster from Gil’s new nemesis? It was just flirting! His aggressive on-airpod proclamation that he was faithful to his wife? He means that he and his wife both adhere to the parameters of the rules they’ve laid down for their ethically non-monogamous marriage! Lukey and Fran want to swing, is what I’m saying, right there on the golf course. Take off those plaid shorts — but leave the tam-o-shanter on, coach! Yum!

Daddy Daze, 8/23/22

We’ve met the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth pal/neighbor before, and he and the Daddy Daze daddy have swapped parenting advice/commiseration, but … I don’t think we’ve ever actually seen his kid? Which is weird, considering that the Daddy Daze baby seems to be within “ba”-ing distance of his father 24/7. Based on today’s strip, though, I worry that the goth pal’s child may have fallen to his death from a great height, or that goth pal is going to jump to his death himself, or maybe both.

Mary Worth, 8/23/22

“Third, Jared. You were my third choice. That’s a bronze metal. Bronze. Does anyone care about bronze, Jared? You know what bronze medalists don’t get to do, Jared? They don’t get to dump me! They don’t get to — uh, I mean, I’m glad there’s no bad blood between us…”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/22/22

Oh ho. Oh ho ho. It’s a new week and a new storyline in Rex Morgan, M.D., and the game, as they say, is afoot! Buck’s about to be tasked with taking care of both an old man and a child, at the same time! What crises will arise that will force Buck to juggle these unexpected responsibilities? Will he fuck it up, somehow? You know it! It’s Buck, he’s very annoying and incompetent. Will this result in life threatening danger to the baby and/or old man? Probably not, because this is Rex Morgan, M.D., where all the stakes are very low. Will the old man and the baby look at each other and wordlessly acknowledge “You’re not so different, you and I, in the sense that we apparently need this schmo to take care of us”? Let’s hope! Might be the most we can ask out of this!

Crock, 8/22/22

Gotta admire the level of not giving a shit on display on today’s Crock. Sure, you could have this plumber working inside the fort, where all the plumbing would be. But seems like it’d involve drawing some backgrounds that aren’t the featureless Sahara Desert. What if there were just some pipe hovering in mid-air? Is that something a plumber could fix? Sure, why not, whatever. Oh, also he’s a rocket scientist or something, I guess.

Mary Worth, 8/22/22

Not sure what time of day/what alien planet is denoted by the pastel clouds and inky black sky in panel one, but I’d like to believe that Dawn chose to call Jared in the middle of the night, hoping to go straight to voice mail, unaware that he’s sleeping with his phone under his pillow in anticipation of exactly this scenario. Anyway, based on her dead eyes and the fact that she sounds like she’s reading a press release, I’m assuming Mary is just off panel, with cue cards, or a gun, or both.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 8/21/22

You ever think that Count Weirdly is just kind of greedy? I mean, he already has an extremely cool customized rocket-plane that’s already capable of outrunning Slylock’s fox-jet to his Antarctic lair (YES BECAUSE OF THE GROUND, YOU SEE, I GUESS WE’D USE A DIFFERENT WORD FOR THE UNDERSEA FLOOR). Getting the plans for another top secret plane just seems like it’s redundant. Will the new plane have bat wings? No? How cool could it possibly be, then?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/21/22

Ironically, the only reason Loweezy had to pay a doctor’s bill in the first place is because Snuffy set himself on fire siphoning that gasoline out of a flatlander’s car. You really can’t get ahead in this economy!