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Hi and Lois, 8/21/20

Not sure how long the time gap is between these two panels, but I’m guessing it’s not very long, and I’m pretty amused by how quickly Ditto went from “Chip’s walks around the neighborhood are a fun big-kid thing that I want to be a part of!” and “Jesus Christ, these walks are intolerably boring, why does he do this, what’s the point.” Anyway, your brother’s horny, kid, you’ll understand someday.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/21/20

Oh, god, I take it back, I’d welcome sex stuff rather than this, rather than “I think my dead wife would’ve wanted the lady I hired to make a movie about how she died to watch the videos she recorded for her widower and daughter.” “Thank you,” says Marianne, who is way, way too rapturously grateful for this. By the way, have we established whether they’re done filming this movie? I had assumed not, but there have been hints that they are, which would make this all the funnier! She needs to see these videos now, after the role is over, in case they do a … sequel? Oh no, they’re going to do a sequel, aren’t they.

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Funky Winkerbean, 8/20/20

Oh no oh no oh no is Les telling Marianne about the sex stuff? I think that’s what we’re supposed to understand by the lacuna in his dialogue in the second panel? She already had to endure saying this dialogue, hasn’t she suffered enough? And is he … hitting on her? By doing this? Since Funky Winkerbean is fixated on classic Hollywood, it’ll be just like the classic Hollywood film Vertigo where Jimmy Stewart tries to remake some poor woman into his dead beloved; in Vertigo it was sad, gross, and ironic because the poor woman secretly is his dead beloved, whereas here it will just be sad and gross. Anyway, I’m really looking forward to years of strips covering Les’s divorce. “Blessed Lisa would never have left me for trying to mold an actress in her image and then have sex with her,” Les will fume silently to himself.

Mary Worth, 8/20/20

“I mean, at first I was sad about being separated from my dad, but it turns out that he’s a real asshole who just dumped me on a stranger and fled the country, so it turns out that it’s actually pretty easy for other people to be better caregivers than him!”

The Phantom, 8/20/20

Yes, Bangalla is a thriving post-colonial democracy, with a vibrant economy in which all it takes to get a good-paying job is [checks notes] a personal relationship with the head of the local government-backed paramilitary force!

Dennis the Menace, 8/20/20

Sad news: Henry Mitchell passed away peacefully in his sleep today at the age of 35. Rest in power, Henry, you’ll always be in our hearts.

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Blondie, 8/19/20

ALERT ALERT THE SYNDICATED NEWSPAPER COMIC STRIP BLONDIE HAS BECOME AWARE OF THE CONCEPT OF “INFLUCENCERS,” THREAT LEVEL ALPHA, REPEAT, THREAT LEVEL ALPHA

Beetle Bailey, 8/19/20

ALERT ALERT BEETLE BAILEY’S “MISS BUXLEY WEDNESDAY” HAS BECOME DANGEROUSLY HORNY

Curtis, 8/19/20

ALERT ALERT CURTIS’S FACE IS BECOMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE REPEAT DANGEROUSLY CLOSE ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT