Post Content

Gil Thorp, 5/6/20

Finally, the engine of this baseball season plot has been revealed: Mike “The Mayor”‘s wacky on-the-go-meal lifestyle has fallen afoul of Milford High’s dumb zero-tolerance-on-“weapons” policy. The hard lesson: kids either need to get up early enough to enjoy a leisurely balanced breakfast at home, or only eat nutrient-units small enough to hold in one hand and soft enough that they don’t need to be cut or, ideally, chewed.

Arctic Circle, 5/6/20

The funny pages are reacting to the worldwide coronavirus pandemic in all sorts of crazy ways, but I definitely did not see “jokes about penguin Zoom sex” coming.

Crock, 5/6/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because … Captain Preppie wants the men under his command to be outfitted with uniforms well suited for the climate?

Funky Winkerbean, 5/6/20

Yes, panel three, right there: this is exactly the amount of revulsion and contempt you should feel when Les Moore leans towards you and attempt to make physical contact.

Marvin, 5/6/20

Toddlers who are too young to be potty trained speaking in complete sentences and being capable of adult-level cognition: totally normal, not even worth remarking on

Newborn infants capable of same: OH MY GOD SO WACKY A SUREFIRE PUNCHLINE BABY

Post Content

Crankshaft, 5/5/20

So yesterday’s Crankshaft featured our protagonist hitting his head on an airplane overheard compartment and making a bit of wordplay about it, and obviously it wasn’t nearly interesting enough to talk about it here. Today’s Crankshaft, however, involves Ed continuing to churn out sub-puns as a result of the same incident, and that has my attention. Can this strip keep up this pace all week? If anyone can make six distinct malaprops about an extremely minor irritation, Ed Crankshaft can!

Dick Tracy, 5/5/20

Wow, Dennis DeYoung seems very certain that any threat from Mr. Roboto is gone forever, doesn’t he? New theory of why he’s in this strip: Dick Tracy’s Neo-Chicago is, of course, a cryptofascist state in which brutal punishments are mandated for any and all crimes. For instance, if you violate someone’s intellectual property, the rights holder gets to kill you with their bare hands.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/5/20

It’s funny because America’s health care system, which tightly connects insurance coverage with one’s employer, does a poor job of accommodating gig workers and those in industries where continuous employment isn’t the norm, forcing people to make choices they wouldn’t under other systems! Ha … ha?

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 5/4/20

Fresh off from being traumatized by being kidnapped by her ex-cellmate and by being kidnapped by a weird bank robber/robot fetishist not long before that, Mysta is about to be traumatized by the unannounced appearance of Styx vocalist Dennis DeYoung! I am dying to know the backstory of his appearance here; I’m hoping it arose because that earlier storyline used Mr. Roboto imagery without permission and he demanded an in-strip appearance as compensation. Anyway, Mysta should not use her moon powers to harm this aging rocker, though she might want to keep the threat at the ready in case he starts nattering on about his legal battles with his ex-bandmates.

Mary Worth, 5/4/20

“Dawn … do you still feel like I do? That this whole thing was a mistake and you’d be better off with Hugo? I sure hope so!”