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Six Chix, 4/3/20

I suppose the “joke” in today’s Six Chix is that dentists love to ask deep, philosophical questions that require a lot of talking in response while they have their hands and a bunch of dental implements in your mouth, amiright folks? Amiright? But because this panel features only the basics of a dental facility surrounded by a blank, featureless void, I’m enjoying myself by thinking of this as a depiction of someone’s specific hell. “So what do you think happens when we die?” asks the dentist-demon. “Do you think it’s a real showy stereotypical fire-and-brimstone thing? Or do you think it’s something maybe less painful, but something we know, something we hate and fear, and we experience it forever? Probably the second one, right? Let’s get the tartar off that top gum line again.”

Daddy Daze, 4/3/20

So it seems that Coffee Goth is in fact Daddy Daze Daddy’s pal and a recurring character in this strip. The fact that the two of them are bellied up to a coffee shop counter rather than a bar honestly makes me realize how many male comic strip characters’ social lives revolve around going to a bar on a regular basis to commiserate with other regulars, which seems a little dated to me. But Daddy Daze Daddy isn’t like that! He’s not some sad drunk! He’s a much more modern archetype: a sad coffee guy! That’s a totally different and much more enlightened texture of sadness!

Mark Trail, 4/3/20

“But now you’re also going out into the woods with me in the middle of the night! That seems like a bad idea! But I still trust you! I’m not really very smart!”

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Crock, 4/2/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because “cursor” and “delete” are computer words, and when you use a computer, “put my cursor on [something] and then press ‘delete’” is definitely something close to how a real computer user would describe their actions, but in this case we’re describing something in real physical space, not on a computer at all! Definitely a very funny joke, when you put all that together. You know what’s not funny, though? Grossie hates her husband so much she doesn’t just want him dead, she wants him completely eliminated from existence! That’s not funny at all. It’s really pretty sad.

Mary Worth, 4/2/20

“…it feels like home. Specifically, my home town of Santa Royale, where, as you noted, Jared also lives. It’s really quite convenient!”

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Mary Worth, 4/1/20

Oh man, I am living for Mary’s dead-eyed facial expression in panel one here. “Gosh,” she seems to be saying, “Dawn has found herself in a romantic predicament of her own making. Who could’ve possibly predicted this.” She seems unable to even work up much enthusiasm for the coming meddle: “You’re gonna have to make a choice, and be honest, blah blah blah. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go water some more flowers, over, uh, over there, on the other side of the yard, gotta go.”

Family Circus, 4/1/20

Big Daddy Keane is smiling because Billy doesn’t quite understand what’s happening here. As a sovereign citizen, he will very much not be telling the so-called “federal government” where he lives and how many dependents he has, but rather is writing a long note on the form about how he refuses to exchange his allodial property rights for the supposed “civil rights” guarantees of the 14th amendment, and is putting some home-brewed biotoxins in the envelope to boot.

Judge Parker, 4/1/20

If you’re a fabulously rich guy running to be a small-town mayor and the biggest knock against you, other than the whole thing where you’re a criminal, is that you’re an out-of-touch old-money elitist, definitely a way to change people’s minds on that point is to be the only person at your campaign fundraiser wearing a tuxedo.

Blondie, 4/1/20

Hey, everyone, what’s your least favorite part of this utterly nightmarish drawing of Dagwood waking up screaming from his nap? Let’s take a closer look!

It’s his weird, tiny, lizard-like tongue, right? Gotta be the tongue! It’s the same color as his skin!