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Good morning, folks! Let’s greet the day with this comment of the week:

“You’re a plugger if you don’t know the name of a technology that is so ubiquitous that there are jokes about it in Pluggers.” –matt w

These runners up are also very funny!

“I defended myself by planking, as the Officer’s Manual instructs.” –Thomas Keith, on Facebook

“So I Googled ‘do frogs care for their young’ to determine if today’s Six Chix had any basis in reality (as one does), and found out that not only is the answer ‘in some cases, yes’ but the highlighted response focused on the strawberry poison frog, where not only does the father care for the eggs, he ‘pees on them to make sure they don’t lose their moisture.’ Fortunately Six Chix was unaware of that particular tidbit, which is really more the provenance of Mark Trail, or Marvin.” –TheDiva

“Sarge is being sincere, and his eyes are closed as he envisions the pitch. ‘Okay, so, you know in The Little Mermaid< ?i> when the fish broad saves the guy? Okay now what if instead of a mermaid, it’s a bear! It’s The Little Mermaid meets The Revenant. You smell that? That’s money you’re smelling!’” –Jenna

“To be fair, JJ and Leola are only making guest appearances, so it’s not in their contracts that they have to do homage to Barney Google. They get the day off.” –Myrtle

“Why are they thanking us? Did we somehow cause their continuation, or rather, fail to cause their cancellation? Are we all culpable?!” –JJ48

The Six Chix cartoon just emphasizes how lost and alone Barney Google is. Were Barney a modern, his ‘Spark Plug’ might well be a self-driving electric car. But he’s not. Snuffy has been left behind by time but he still has all the rest of Hootin’ Holler that’s been left behind with him. But Barney is a city boy, a city boy from a city that no longer exists. He doesn’t belong in Hootin’ Holler and he doesn’t belong in the modern world. Even the Steampunk fad that might have allowed him to pass for an obsessive cosplayer is fading. As long as the strip exists he is doomed to lonely wandering. End his misery, please.” –Curtis Adams

“Ah yes, I too have friends, like my wife Cherry! And I like to greet her as well, I say things, ‘Hello, my wife Cherry!’ or ‘Happy birthday, my wife Cherry!’ [nods very comfortably] I understand friendship.” –Dan

“Jeff: ‘It will be good to catch up!’ Mary: ‘I have some news about Wilbur…’ Jeff: ‘I stand corrected.’” –nescio

“Remember when I had a cat, you found it too irritating, I had to get rid of it and Estelle took care of my unwanted liability? I have some news about Wilbur.” –Ettorre

News about Wilbur? Hold the phone! …No really. Hold it. Like a normal person.” –grsblvnyk

“Don’t flatter yourself, Beetle. I’ve been annoyed with this strip for as long as I can remember.” –Peanut Gallery

“Silverdaters seems an odd choice of site for Wilbur, who’s never seemed quite that old. Perhaps he thought ‘silver’ referred not to the age bracket of its members, but rather was a general indicator of their quality. ‘I don’t deserve Golddaters,’ he thought, ‘but Silverdaters seems suitably low self-esteem.’” –Truckosaurus

“Actually, maybe leering-head guy was ogling Beetle. That’s always been his fantasy — a soldier-boy, who wears his Army hat to the beach! He left in disgust, though, once he saw those swim trunks.” –seismic-2

“From the art, it looks less like Beetle and Buxley switched places, and more like they were absorbed into each other, a sickening sound as flesh ate flesh and spat it out the other side. The thankfully missing middle panel would have shown the melded BeetleBuxley (BeeBux?) as parts writhed and passed to the other side. The third panel shows the transmogrification (as as side note, good job Chrome for recognizing the word ‘transmogrification’) nearly, but not quite, complete. An almost-Beetle addresses the audience, while a proto-Buxley continues to bud from his side. Well done bit of modern body horror for such an old strip.” –Voshkod

“Sure, Wilbur’s into sportswater sports, probably. Of course, Mary and Jeff also seem to be into water sports, but a totally different kind. Speedboating, that is. Possibly followed by motorboating? This story has gotten so long and boring that the characters would need a wide variety of kinks just to keep things lively.” –BigTed

“Horny and desperate are common interests, right?” –ZeroWolf

“‘Sports Nut‘ Wilbur, who hasn’t expressed interest in or knowledge of athletic competitions one single time since he gave up his sports writing job to pretend to be a woman for higher pay. ‘Crazy Catlady’ Estelle, who has zero interest in anything to do with cats other than taking care of the one that was recently forced into her hands as a favor for a neighbor. ‘Balanced Hobbyist’ Mary, who has compulsively baked 15 dozen muffins every single day for the last year and a half.” –jroggs

“Wilbur sure seems to get a lot of interest from the janes, if by ‘a lot,’ you mean ‘two,’ and by ‘interest’ you mean a sexless sham of a relationship.” –Sandy McGuire, on Facebook

“Sorry. With our crippling student loan debt, combined with skyrocketing rents, our only possessions are this chair and this broom. Banging on the ceiling is our only form of entertainment.” –GeoGreg

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Dustin, 6/21/19

A big part of Dustin’s whole deal is slamming on millennials without really understanding much by way of what millennials’ lives are actually like. The strip has made jokes about Instagram and Twitter despite clearly not knowing how either of them work; so I guess it’s probably for the best that that it refuses to deal at all with the modern romance scene as facilitated by Tinder and other dating apps (which is, according to literally every standup show I go to, an actual rich mine of comedy that millennials simply can’t get enough of). Fortunately the strip has a seemingly endless supply of “guy strikes out trying to pick up chicks at a fern bar” jokes left over from the ’80s lying around. Ha ha, it’s funny because Dustin says “I was into athletics in college,” which is a definitely a phrase a human whose native language is English would use!

Pluggers, 6/21/19

Speaking of millennials and their sex lives, do you ever worry that your mother-in-law thinks you’re cheating on your spouse by fucking your phone? Well, today’s Pluggers isn’t going to set your mind at ease, unfortunately.

Six Chix, 6/21/19

Sure, having noisy upstairs neighbors is annoying. But have these ladies considered maybe getting some furniture that would absorb the sound currently echoing around their vast, entirely empty apartment?

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Mary Worth, 6/20/19

Man, I didn’t intend to make this an All-Mary Worth week; in fact, if you had told me on Monday that we’d be getting a whole additional week of Estelle dating drama, I’d have been pretty mad about it. And yet I have been delighted to see a week spent with Mary and Dr. Jeff just taking potshots at Wilbur as they burn endless marine fuel zipping around the Channel Islands. Delighted, I say! Anyway, today we learn that Mary doesn’t really have much of a grip on Wilbur’s personality; she figures that, as a man, he must be “into” “sports” of some kind, but the only “sport” we’ve ever seen him engage in is running around in the woods with his illegitimate not-son. Despite claiming to value Wilbur as a friend or whatever when she was trying to stop him from hurling himself off a cliff, she clearly doesn’t have much interest into what Wilbur Weston is actually all about, and, honestly, who can blame her.

Slylock Fox, 6/20/19

Here’s another Six Differences that takes place at the very day, at the very moment when the animals suddenly Awoke and began the uprising that displaced humans from their place at the top of the food chain. Our enterprising bulldog has already realized he can manipulate tools and has freed his comrade from leash-slavery, while the shocked bunnies look on and realize start to understand their own sudden power. One thing that occurs to me is that a significant majority of pets are spayed or neutered, yet the post-animalpocalypse world has no shortage of puppies and kitties — do you think whatever process changed the animals also reversed the sterilization imposed on them by their oppressors? Anyway, these dogs are gonna go fuck, probably.

Beetle Bailey, 6/20/19

A thing I genuinely laughed at in today’s Beetle Bailey is the guy running in the background of panel one, presumably fleeing from the tornado, while General Halftrack and Major Greenbrass argue semantics. Ha ha, they’re going to be killed!