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Ahh, Sunday Mark Trail nature facts, what do you have for me this week?

Mark Trail panel 1, 10/28/18

“Very few!” That certainly sounds extremely reassuring.

Mark Trail panel 2, 10/28/18

Wait, WHAT. What the fuck. Holy shit. Savage. Child-sized. SQUAMATES????

Mark Trail, 10/28/18

WAIT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF THESE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT LIZARDS OR NOT. ARE THEY FRIEND OR FOE. ARE THEY ONE OF THE VERY FEW KINDS OF LIZARD THAT POSE A THREAT TO HUMANS OR ARE THEY JUST A DANGER TO, LIKE, THE ECOSYSTEM OR WHATEVER BUT THEY’RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA EAT US. LIKE I KNOW WE’RE PART OF THE ECOSYSTEM, ULTIMATELY, BUT LIKE ARE YOU USING “ECOSYSTEM” IN THAT REALLY INCLUSIVE SENSE HERE. PLEASE MARK I DEPEND ON YOU TO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH I SHOULD PANIC

Shoe, 10/28/18

You know, I spend a lot of time on this blog musing about how the animals took over in Slylock Fox but next to none on the background of the bird-world of Shoe. And while I believe that the animal regime in Slylock was established by a sudden and violent revolution, I think that the Shoe bird-folk evolved to fill the niche left open after humanity went extinct on its own. The bird-men’s paleontological sciences are apparently underdeveloped, and they believe that many of the landscape modifications we left behind — the golf courses, for instance — are simply natural features of the landscape; the more religious among them see them as proof of a loving Bird-God who wants them to be happy, or, in this case, mildly frustrated.

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Mary Worth, 10/27/18

An act of providence? An act of providence? Mary, there wasn’t some crazy series of coincidences guided by a divine hand that led Mr. Wynter to this sad pup. You were the one who tricked him out of the apartment by claiming you had car problems and then drove directly to the animal shelter. This is as close to an open confession we’ve gotten of how we’ve long suspected Mary sees herself: as a direct instrument of God’s will on Earth, or perhaps even as a Deity in her own right.

Dick Tracy, 10/27/18

I apologize for my premature complaints about the realism in this story line. While it’s of course wholly improbable that newspaper syndicates would roll out, with great fanfare and expenditure of resources, a comic strip about two obscure actors from several generations ago, it’s significantly more likely that if a cartoonist contacted various newspapers and said “Say, would you like to run a comic strip I’m drawing about two obscure actors from several generations ago? You don’t have to pay me — in fact, the situation is quite the opposite, thanks to a trust fund that’s been earning investment income for decades and was set aside for this very purpose,” they’d at least hear the guy out.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/27/18

If this strip ran on a Monday, it would be the setup for a week’s worth of jokes about Lukey’s beefy, amiable cousin Moose, who might have been pulled from the 99 years of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith archives or might’ve just been made up today to be mined for laughs, who can say! But it’s not Monday. It’s Saturday. Moose is here because the best this strip could do for a joke today was “What if Snuffy thought Lukey was talking about an animal, but in fact it was a person who had the same name as an animal, or possibly a it’s nickname given to him because of his large stature,” and I honestly think that’s pretty sad.

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Hello everybody! This is your monthly reminder that if you’re in LA, you should always come to my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, on the first Friday of every month month, which this coming month is on November 2nd! I’ve been granted an extra half hour in my theater time slot, which means I can now pack in more funny people serving up more World Wide Web-themed laffs!

You want a Facebook event? Here’s a darn Facebook event! See you there!

Meanwhile, here, you can see the week’s top comment!

“Roasted brussels sprouts have actually become a popular food item in hipster bars, so in addition to being bullied, that little sprout is likely to be chewed up by some guy with a fedora and a web series.” –Jenna

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Kingpin reads the throwaway panels.” –JJ48

“Look at that George Wilson, showing off with his fancy two-story house and his solid gold garbage cans! I’m glad he’s in a loveless marriage!” –Joe Blevins

“The expression on Jenny’s face tells me that she’s looking at this morning’s schedule and just realized how much coffee she’s had.” –pugfuggly

“Happy fish being scarfing worms from the dock … terrified fish carried off by a gull … fish skeleton resting in a puddle … Slylock Fox is a Renaissance allegorical painting, except for cartoon fish.” –matt w

“I feel that we need to ask just what that crab thinks it is doing pulling up Max’s tail with one claw and gesturing suggestively with the other. #MaxToo” –Dmsilev

“I choose to believe that is Miss Kandikane’s deformed tongue, and will not be dissuaded by any argument.” –RexDartEskimoPi, on Twitter

“Looks like Dick will finally learn where babies come from. If his health teacher were alive today instead of a bullet riddled corpse buried coincidentally when Dick was a student in middle school, he’d be proud.” –Foodar

“The silhouette of the bus driver in Crankshaft has horns, and he’s driving Bus 0013. This is Crankshaft’s ironic afterlife, a Sisyphean torture of trying to drive up Mockaman’s Hill. It’s right there in the name — Mock A Man Hill — the demons mock Crankshaft by letting him nearly crest the hill before the bus slides right back to the bottom. The children get hungrier and louder in the back because they just want to get home. Crankshaft’s hands grow tired on the wheel, his feet split from the effort of pushing the accelerator. The top of Mockaman’s Hill is in sight and the wheels start to scream like the children and the bus slides all the way back to the bottom and the children in the back get hungrier and louder because they just want to get home and he guns the engine again, the squeal of fraying belts sounds like the cacophonous laughter of demons.” –Voshkod

“You can just see the wheels spinning in Mary’s mind: ‘So maybe I can get Saul to be mentally broken and completely submissive, and then be ready to open up, just by confining him in a cage for a year? I’ll have Carlos Alora go buy some wire, today!’” –seismic-2

“These kids range in age from about 4 to 6. Should they really be the ones responsible for fighting bullying? Where are the adults? The cops? The PTA? The older retired guy who was probably in the military at some time? In any normal community, violence against kindergarteners would be considered a serious problem. But happy unity day, everyone!” –BigTed

“Oh, man, are we going to find out that the nonstop promises to ‘take care of those kids’ means these guys are running some kind of artifact-themed daycare operation?” –Uncle Lumpy

“I’m hung up on the fact whoever is talking (Snuffy or Loweezy) correctly makes the grammatical distinction between ‘yore’ and ‘yo’re.’” –Ignatz

“That’s what I always say during sex: ‘Maybe you can get out at the other end!‘ Confuses the hell out of my boyfriends, and what’s worse, not one of them has managed to do it.” –made of wince

“It’s butter. Handful-sized lumps of butter. A desperate attempt to shore up Vitamin D deposits before the dark season sets in. Yep, it’s butter three times a day ’til ol’ Bessie stops givin’.” –Hopester

“There’s no explanation for why the Wilsons have taken Dennis out to the countryside so I’ll assume the obvious. Since there’s aerial surveillance in that area, George and Martha should dig the unmarked grave underneath that tree.” –nescio

“Rusty won’t fall for it. He knows he has no dad.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I’ve never seen a newspaper comic where the plucky kid heroes are saved by the villain’s strabismus, but I’m certainly open to new adventures.” –pastordan

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