Comment of the Week

My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she's quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It's actually quite alarming! We're getting into I'm a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I'm trying to make.

els

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Mary Worth, 6/20/19

Man, I didn’t intend to make this an All-Mary Worth week; in fact, if you had told me on Monday that we’d be getting a whole additional week of Estelle dating drama, I’d have been pretty mad about it. And yet I have been delighted to see a week spent with Mary and Dr. Jeff just taking potshots at Wilbur as they burn endless marine fuel zipping around the Channel Islands. Delighted, I say! Anyway, today we learn that Mary doesn’t really have much of a grip on Wilbur’s personality; she figures that, as a man, he must be “into” “sports” of some kind, but the only “sport” we’ve ever seen him engage in is running around in the woods with his illegitimate not-son. Despite claiming to value Wilbur as a friend or whatever when she was trying to stop him from hurling himself off a cliff, she clearly doesn’t have much interest into what Wilbur Weston is actually all about, and, honestly, who can blame her.

Slylock Fox, 6/20/19

Here’s another Six Differences that takes place at the very day, at the very moment when the animals suddenly Awoke and began the uprising that displaced humans from their place at the top of the food chain. Our enterprising bulldog has already realized he can manipulate tools and has freed his comrade from leash-slavery, while the shocked bunnies look on and realize start to understand their own sudden power. One thing that occurs to me is that a significant majority of pets are spayed or neutered, yet the post-animalpocalypse world has no shortage of puppies and kitties — do you think whatever process changed the animals also reversed the sterilization imposed on them by their oppressors? Anyway, these dogs are gonna go fuck, probably.

Beetle Bailey, 6/20/19

A thing I genuinely laughed at in today’s Beetle Bailey is the guy running in the background of panel one, presumably fleeing from the tornado, while General Halftrack and Major Greenbrass argue semantics. Ha ha, they’re going to be killed!

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Six Chix, 6/19/19

Nostalgia is near universal human emotion, but as Proust and his madeleine proved, it’s also one that’s remarkably easy to evoke in a quick, efficient way. Today’s Six Chix is an In Search Of Lost Time for our era, combining a once popular brand of automobile, a once popular media property, and fucking, and boom: it’s like you’re there! I have no idea what the joke is supposed to be.

Mary Worth, 6/19/19

You’d think Dr. Jeff would’ve remembered that he’d already met Iris, Wilbur’s ex-girlfriend, who also lives in Mary and Wilbur’s condo complex, especially considering that her son Tommy, the notorious local drug dealer and addict, figured heavily into some of the most important storylines in this strip’s history. But you know, maybe he hasn’t met her! In fact, maybe all the non-Dr. Jeff storylines in this strip pass by without him noticing or caring! I honestly kind of love the idea that he’s completely unaware of Charterstone gossip. On the other hand, maybe this is precisely the reason Mary persistently refuses to marry him. LOVE ME, LOVE MY DRAMA, JEFF.

Beetle Bailey, 6/19/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Miss Buxley was specifically created to cater to the male gaze and she can never, ever escape it!

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Mary Worth, 6/18/19

Oh, hey kids, in case you were wondering, the Mary Worth Estelle Gets Grifted storyline is still happening this week, and presumably will be until the heat death of the universe. Today I want to point out that if you knew Wilbur, and if Mary called you up and said “I have some news about Wilbur…“, you’d definitely assume it was bad news, right? Like he had cried himself to death, or went on a tour of the mayonnaise factor and “accidentally” got locked into the mayonnaise factory overnight and just when he was going to enjoy a single spoonful of mayonnaise fresh from the vat he slipped (on mayonnaise) and suffered massive head trauma? I guess Dr. Jeff is in for a pleasant (?) surprise.

Judge Parker, 6/18/19

Over in Judge Parker, the traditional social hierarchy is all upside down: Judge Parker Senior is super duper going to jail, but Marie, who you might recall decided to quit her job as the Spencer-Driver maidservant and take her chances in the outside world despite the gangsters who want her dead, is living her best life, in case you were worried about her! This time she’s relaxing at a tropical resort with a hunk who won’t fake his death, probably.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/18/19

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, drunk with power now that it got other syndicated newspaper strips to acknowledge its existence for a single day, is returning to a task it attempted and failed at back in 2014: making Bizzy Buzz Buzz, the manic Smif niece who loves to clean, happen. Folks, I gotta tell ya: Bizzy Buzz Buzz is not gonna happen!