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Gil Thorp, 11/19/18

Ah ha, it’s classic Gil, expressing shock that a kid with a decent haircut and middle-class clothes might be connected to wrongdoing, somehow! Remember when a wholly legal tattoo parlor opened in Milford and Gil destroyed it for no good reason? Anyway, I’m enjoying the fact that we’re getting this exposition dump during Coach Thorp and Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp’s desultory countryside jog. And speaking of Mimi, isn’t there some girls’ sport that shares a season with football that we could be seeing her handle instead of dealing with this snoozefest? Gymnastics? Volleyball? I’d definitely enjoy watching how varying growth spurts between freshman and sophomore year affected the tactical and emotional dynamics of the Spiking Lady Mudlarks a lot more than trying to figure out what classic French New Wave film Kaz is going to try and fail to compare to Tiki’s residency situation.

Dick Tracy, 11/19/18

It has come to our attention that the previous twist in this storyline, which involved faxing, was deemed “dangerously exciting” by many core members of the Dick Tracy readership. We are pleased to announce that the strip will henceforth be focusing on the minutia of contract law, with a special focus on payment terms.

Mary Worth, 11/19/18

“You see, we’ve gotten reports of an older gentleman who’s been manipulating people into helping him adopt shelter dogs and then … well, there’s no easy way to say this … eating them. Short, wears a bow tie? Have you seen anyone who fits that description?”

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Mary Worth, 11/18/18

I feel like an underappreciated aspect of the two-week-long victory lap Mary’s been doing at the end of this storyline is how she keeps talking about how getting Mr. Wynter a new dog has really transformed him, because of course when we first met him he had a dog, Bella, and was real grouch. So it’s not just that he needed canine companionship to open up emotionally, it’s that he needed the right dog. Mary Worth definitely killed Bella, is what I’m saying.

Six Chix, 11/18/18

Say, have you ever gone to an art museum and wanted someplace to stash your coat, or been glad to have a convenient lunch spot so you could spend the whole day there, or needed to use the bathroom? Well congratulations, turns out you’re a real philistine, I hope you understand what an art-hating monster you are

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Curtis, 11/17/18

Curtis is a strip I have a great affection for, despite its corniness, and unlike certain strips I could mention its weird gags about social media feel at least a little based on some actual experience with it. Like, is snake ownership actually the new rage on social media? No, obviously not. But could you sort of see some interconnected subset of the people Curtis follows getting really into snakes, for some reason? Sure! Seems eminently believable to me. I bet Snake Twitter is extremely lit.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/17/18

Hey, remember in Mark Trail when there was a little girl who was bed-ridden with depression because her parents got divorced, and Mark cured her by giving her a puppy? Normally “hey why treat debilitating mental illness when you could just get a pet or go for a walk instead” bullshit makes me furious, but Hagar and Lucky Eddie are a solid millenium away from reliable talk therapy or psychopharmaceuticals, so I guess they might as well give this cute dog a shot.

The Lockhorns, 11/17/18

It’s incredibly sad that the Lockhorns have come to a truce that involves each of them giving up something they enjoy. The only thing they can agree on is their own mutual immiseration.