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Mary Worth, 10/24/24

If I know Mary Worth, and I’d like to think at this point that I do, I’m reasonably sure that Estelle and Dr. Ed will, in fact, end up back together. However, I appreciate the fact that she’s maintaining a somewhat realistic attitude about the matter. Like, yeah, maybe you have some regrets, but the guy whose engagement ring you hurled into his chest at full force in front of a bunch people at his vet clinic — the vet clinic where he was overworked and you started volunteering to help out at, from which you stormed out that day and presumably have not been back since — that guy might not be in the headspace to pick up where you left off. And that’s fair! Can’t hurt to ask, but it’s fair if he says no! At least a vision direct from God will keep her from marrying Wilbur, even if it means dying alone!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/24/24

Because I’m the specific kind of dork that I am, my immediate thought reading this strip was, “Wait, are these Vikings supposed to be a bride-price culture or a dowry culture? You can’t have it both ways!” Well, after doing a little research, it turns out the dichotomy I half remember a friend of mine explaining to me when she was taking Anthropology 101 during our freshman year of college was a little reductive, because you can have it both ways and the Vikings did: their marriage rituals were preceded by an elaborate and reciprocal series of gift exchanges between the bride’s and groom’s families. Now, that sounds like a big waste of time to me because you end up with the same amount of money at the end of it that you started with, but I guess it helped establish and tighten kinship bonds or something. Whatever, I’m not going to tell them how to live their lives! Wouldn’t do much good anyway, seeing as they’re all dead.

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Dick Tracy, 10/23/24

Dick Tracy has spent a lot of this week getting into the architectural history of Neo-Chicago and the state of local landmarked buildings. On the surface, this sounds like the sort of thing that I personally would be into, but it’s actually left me pretty cold. Maybe I’d feel differently if it were about public transit or something, but for now, I say: let’s wrap it up and bring on the officer-involved shootings!

Gil Thorp, 10/23/24

Please excuse a moment of football detective work. Yesterday’s Gil Thorp did not actually establish all the parameters of the game situation when the action depicted started, but we know this much:

• New Thayer was facing 4th and goal, and could “clinch the night” if they scored
• After Milford intercepted the ball, there was 3:15 left on the clock

To me, anyway, this implies that, by scoring a touchdown at that point, New Thayer would have gone far enough ahead that Milford would’ve needed to score twice to catch up; three minutes is plenty of time to put together a scoring drive, so if New Thayer were up by less than 9 after a potential touchdown, it wouldn’t make sense to say they’d clinched anything. That means Milford was losing (though only by a few points) before the interception we saw yesterday; and if Oscar Capp had run the ball back for a defensive touchdown, we probably would’ve heard about it, plus the excessive Mudlark celebration we saw seems pretty clearly to be happening midfield.

Today we learn that the final score of this game was Milford 10, New Thayer 7. Considering what we’ve already figured out, we can safely assume that, after the interception, Milford had to put together a scoring drive to win. (Presumably before the interception the score was New Thayer 7, Milford 3.) What I sincerely appreciate is that we have not been treated to any of the thrilling sports action of this fourth quarter comeback. Instead, we get Coach Hernandez yelling at the new kids for grandstanding, and everyone immediately submitting to his authority. That’s because Gil Thorp isn’t a strip about high school sports; it’s a strip about coaching high school sports. There’s a difference!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/23/24

Speaking of exciting things we don’t see, there was a little bit of a hint last week that Mud Mountain Murphy might be up to his old scene-stealing tricks as everyone got ready for his supporting role at Truck Tyler’s concert. But he didn’t! He did what he was supposed to, the show went great, everyone was happy. Thank goodness! I know you guys were stressed out about it.

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Gil Thorp, 10/22/24

Oh hey, remember the new guys introduced this year on the Mudlark football team? Well, I forgot to mention that one of them has this running bit where he says “yeet” all the time, not in a sentence or anything, just as a general exclamation. I’m actually kind of torn on how realistic that is, because it’s true that teenagers are generally goofy idiots who will repeatedly say a word they think is funny with no context, but also shouldn’t these guys be young enough to just think of “yeet” as a regular word? It’s a verb that means to hurl something away with great force, if you don’t know, although the Merriam-Webster Dictionary website says it also could be an interjection “used to express surprise, approval, or excited enthusiasm,” and if you can’t trust the dictionary about the sort of things teens say, who can you trust?

Beetle Bailey, 10/22/24

Julius, General Halftrack’s driver, is a character who doesn’t show up much in this strip — one of the only times I’ve ever name-checked him was in a 2004 post about Sarge having a gay panic dream, where both the comic and the post are something of a time capsule at this point — but I appreciate the nice, good look we’re getting at his extremely grim facial expression here. Not sure where the smart money was going on which of the Camp Swampy guys was going to Full Metal Jacket the place, but I know where it’s going now!

Blondie, 10/22/24

Hey guys, let’s check in on Blondie! The joke in today’s Blondie is that Dagwood is very depressed.