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Hi and Lois, 2/9/24

I have not been on the “dating scene” since I met my wife-to-be back in 2002, but I try to keep abreast of the discourse and the lingo and I’m pretty sure that “ghosting” someone means that you simply cut off contact with them without telling them why. You do not need to begin the process by sending ghost emojis. Maybe I’m wrong, but if I’m in a battle of with-it-ness with Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC, well, let’s just say I like my odds.

Blondie, 2/9/24

Hey, fun fact, did you know that Dagwoods reproduce asexually? True story, a Dagwood will bud an identical genetic clone who, upon reaching maturity, will kill and eat his father/original. This is not really relevant to this specific strip, but you can really see here that the younger Dagwood’s growth process is almost complete and that the elder Dagwood’s Time is almost upon him. Kelly is correct to steer clear!

Dennis the Menace, 2/9/24

“Anyway, where do you think our parents are? It’s been weeks!”

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Mary Worth, 2/8/24

Move over, “celler door!” There’s a new most beautiful two-word phrase in the English language, and it’s “odd rock.” “Race you to that odd rock up ahead!” is a very normal phrase that native English speakers say to one another under all kinds of circumstances and there’s nothing strange or off-putting about it. Anyway, that odd rock definitely isn’t wide and flat, like an altar, and it definitely won’t be soon bedewed with the blood of the heretic Keith, with Kitty holding the obsidian dagger aloft while Sonia and Brad chant ecstatic praises to the Dark One who commands them. Some might say this is a situation that could’ve been avoided with a more timely DNA test, but I’m not here to judge.

Family Circus, 2/8/24

Damn, Dolly, I’m pretty sure PJ hasn’t grappled with the fleeting impermanence of life yet? This isn’t the fun kind of darndest thing to be saying, at all!

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Six Chix, 2/7/24

I said my piece a while back about why I’m not the biggest fan of cartoons about hell, but you know me: I can’t resist looking at a comic and thinking about the world-building, even in cases, like this one, where the world is hell. I’m kind of intrigued by the fact that the dude on the left here has one puff of chest hair on his otherwise smooth torso. Do the souls of the damned continually regrow their body hair, only to have it burn painfully off now and then as the temperature of the hellfire varies at random?

Pluggers, 2/7/24

This is a pretty subpar Pluggers in the sense that the plugger in the panel isn’t contributing to an overall joke or even giving us any new information over and above what’s in the caption. Feel like the dog-man should either be saying something jokey like “I want you to have my Lawrence Welk albums if I don’t make it” or just going all out with “They’re going to gut me like a fish, Bob! No, I’m not going to calm down!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/7/24

“Your nephew? Your nephew!?! You’re telling me that if your sibling has a son, that person is considered part of your family, and there’s even a special word you use to identify them? Holy shit, this changes everything.”