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Gil Thorp, 9/17/18

More often than not Gil Thorp will follow a couple, sometimes interrelated, plots over the course of a sports season, and it looks like we’re getting two football plots this year: whatever the heck’s going on with Tiki Jansen, and some long snapper drama. Special teams are the goofiest part of football, so I’m extremely excited to see them get the spotlight in Gil Thorp this year. It seems that the long snapper is also the best punter, and for those of you who don’t follow football, this is a problem because the punter is the person the long snapper hurls the ball to, in the graceful position demonstrated in panel one. My sincere hope is that this dilemma is solved using cloning, or possibly time travel.

Mary Worth, 9/17/18

“Mr. Wynter, I just wanted to see how you were coping after your tragic loss. I know what it’s like to lose someone dear myself! In my case that someone was my husband, a human being, who some might say is a little more worthy of grief than a mere animal, but I won’t comment on that one way or another. Also, my husband left me a good deal of money after his demise, ensuring my financial stability. Did your dog leave you any money? At any rate, I hope this can of processed salmon is of comfort to you!” [she gently lobs the can of salmon at Mr. Wynter; he fails to catch it and it hits him square in the face]

Family Circus, 9/17/18

I was briefly thinking that at least one of Dolly’s grandmas was dead and only seen in the strip in ghost form. I was wrong, of course — it’s her maternal grandfather I’m thinking of — but wouldn’t it be funny if I was right, and Dolly was beseeching God to keep the heat turned up on her grandmother’s damned soul, in hell? Anyway, long story short, I’m a bad person.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/16/18

Wait, which real world are we talking about here? A real world where a child wearing a coonskin cap and suspenders walks home from a clapboard one-room schoolhouse along the edge of a cliff? In this faux-hillbilly dreamscape, it’s actually more likely that the local education system would assess its charges’ skills in cartoonishly rustic pursuits rather than traditional academic subjects, to be honest.

Six Chix, 9/16/8

Not sure exactly what’s going on here: has the guard spent all day telling museum patrons to back away from the art, and now he’s urging these two to back away from the most glorious piece of art: the human form? Or is there, like, an epidemic of art museum sex going on that I’m not aware of?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/15/18

You ever notice that a significant portion of the dialogue in post-Woody Wilson Rex Morgan, M.D., consists of characters saying things like “Makes sense” or “You might be right about that” or just otherwise agreeing with whoever they’re talking to? It doesn’t really make for gripping drama, and also, if you want to get specific, the restaurant industry, like just about every other form of retail, is increasingly bifurcating into two segments: one that’s increasingly higher-end and higher-margin, and another that stays just a step above fast food while emulating much of the industrial and assembly-line production processes that make it possible to eke out a profit from low-priced meals. In other words, it’s going to be delightful watching everyone tell Jordan that he just might be right about his very sensible plans, right before he dramatically goes out of business less than six months after he opens.

Pluggers, 9/15/18

Is that a plugger … driving … a Japanese vehicle???? This nightmare is what comes of allowing Californians to identify as pluggers.