Gasoline Alley, 6/30/16
Hey, remember when Gasoline Alley went on and on and on about scrapbooking, for no discernable reason? Well, you’ll beg for scrapbooking hijinx once we get five weeks deep into … NUMISMATICS FOLLIES!!!!!!
Spider-Man’s spider-sense (the relative sense of a spider) is generally interpreted as offering a vague premonition of danger, so you think it’d be useless for helping him figure out magic spells. But this plotline was in real danger of becoming the most boring thing in Spider-Man history, so his powers were spot-on in bringing it to a close as quickly as possible.
Mary Worth, 6/30/16
Good news! Mary Worth is here to help, by asking the groundskeeper to carry some heavy objects! Please do not ask Mary for further help or make eye contact again with her in the future. Thank you for your time.
This Spider-Man Doctor Strange storyline has been going on for, what, four months now, Jesus Christ, and it’s been super boring for like the last six weeks at least, and not even boring in, like, a fun way. Anyway, let’s hope that today’s dramatic moment, in which Spider-Man picks a thing up off the ground and gives it to some other dude who actually knows how to use it, represents the climax to this storyline and we’ll move on to something else! Or maybe not. Maybe they’ll drag this thing out until the Doctor Strange movie comes out in [checks date on Google] November? Are you kidding me?
Mary Worth, 6/29/16
Mary Worth, meanwhile, turns boredom into a delicate, mesmerizing art form. Mary’s spent three days typing a banal response to a letter to Wilbur’s advice column! Three days! Typing! Yet I can’t take my eyes away, as her fingers dance delicately across the least ergonomic keyboard ever made. This is how it’s done, Spider-Man. This is how it’s done.
Hello everybody! I am going to be hosting a new comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, in which the gimmick is that every act must include some material (text, audio, video, WHATEVER) that performers found on the Internet. Do you want to see these performers? Of course! Do you want to be one of those performers? You can be! The first two shows are July 14th and July 28th, at The Clubhouse in Los Feliz, and, assuming all goes well, I’ll be doing two shows a month indefinitely, forever! So I need acts! I have some cool folks lined up for the first couple shows, but I need more! If you have an idea for Internet-based comedy performance of some kind, pitch me at email@example.com!
I did this show once before in Baltimore and it was really fun. Some examples of the acts from that show, to get your ideas rolling:
- A slideshow of the Worst Dudes On OkCupid!
- A dramatic reading of discussion group drama over organizing a furry convention!
- An up-and-coming writer pitches a movie executive on his new film, using the Wikipedia plot summary of an extremely bad movie!
- A guessing game where you have to tell what’s going on in a Craigslist personal ad when all the gender identifying information has been taken out!
- A multimedia spoken word piece based on a series of insane emails a director/crazy person kept sending to the staff of a film festival, even though he was told to stop!
OK, you get the picture! Again, if you would like to be in the show and are free on the 14th or 28th (or future second and fourth Thursdays of the month), email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!