Post Content

Family Circus, 2/18/24

“Oh, hey, does my toddler have a bunch of friends who I don’t know, who somehow got into the house without me having noticed? Sure, that makes sense. I can sort of visualize what they might look like. I’m definitely giving him extra cookies.”

Gasoline Alley, 2/18/24

So it turns out that the news story that the characters of Gasoline Alley have been reacting to with universal horror and disgust is that they’re going to incorporate cicada protein into bananas. And they’re right to strongly reject this! It’s very gross.

Crock, 2/18/24

Look, not to sound like a crazy libertine degenerate or anything, but I think it’s OK to say that most newspaper comics readers have always been adults, that basically no kids are reading newspaper comics anymore, and that it ought to be OK for them to use the word “cocaine.”

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 2/17/24

In a happier family, Hi would relay this story with a rueful smile on his face, acknowledging that it was a disappointing game while still emphasizing that bowling is hard for little kids and everyone had a good time hanging out together. In a kinder family, if Hi were going to tell this story with a facial expression implying that the experience made him miserable and his youngest son inspires nothing but shame and contempt in his heart, he’d at least do it where Ditto couldn’t see or hear him.

Beetle Bailey, 2/17/24

Speaking of the unhappy Flagston-Bailey clan, I like that today’s Beetle Bailey doesn’t trust readers to understand that these two older characters talking about how “Beetle doesn’t write letters home anymore” are supposed to be Beetle’s parents. I’d like to think that the original draft only had one parent-themed coffee mug but the syndicate sent it back and said “No, this needs to be twice as obvious.”

Dennis the Menace, 2/17/24

Margaret should not be looking so happy here, she should absolutely be thinking to herself “I can’t believe this moron doesn’t even know the word ‘candelabra.’”

Post Content

Got a late start this morning but a comment of the week is welcome any time of day, I feel:

“‘Keith! How things are with your former girlfriend and your daughter?’ ‘Well the problem is that they are now my current girlfriend and my former daughter.’” –Ettore Costa, on Bluesky

And your runners up? Very funny!

“Considering Rex’s actual personality, I’m going to assume that ‘chirpy bedside manor’ is not a typo but instead a reference to a model mansion full of finches that Rex had placed next to Rene’s bed in hopes of driving him insane(r).” –beneprism.rip, on Bluesky

Brisket with milk? ‘Sam’ rips off his rubber mask to reveal he is, in reality, Not-Kosher-Man! The hero who always shows up when something about the situation is decidedly Not Kosher!” –Peanut Gallery

“Mud is right to phrase Rene’s admission of nephewdom as a guilty confession. The authorities might have overlooked Rene’s scams and murder attempts, but there’s no way anyone can forgive a crime so heinous as being related to Lyle Ollman.” –jroggs

“The unbelievable news can’t be that this strip is finally ending after 100 years, because TV news doesn’t chase the audiences old enough to read Gasoline Alley, and the newspapers don’t have reporters to cover the corruption in City Hall, let alone that a favorite(?) comic strip for their aging readers is ending.” –Philip

“And I want my coffin to be a giant flour tortilla. I won’t be remembered for much, so let’s get nuts.” –made of wince

“Wisely, Jeffy’s parents never allow him to handle money, which is why he’s unfamiliar with two of the most prominent faces on coins and bills. Of course, most kids these days probably know their folks’ AmEx and Venmo numbers by heart, or just go straight to the Amazon app no one remembers to close on the family tablet. But the punkinheads aren’t savvy enough to figure those things out, which is why they still rely on dusty old American History books that cover the period from Washington to the current Great War.” –BigTed

“I wonder if Shoe actually takes place in our world, exactly as it is, but the cartoonist has this weird mental problem that translates everything he sees into birds and bird-friendly environments. Where other people see an office building or a restaurant, he sees a tree or a branch. It would really explain quite a lot and solve several problems.” –BeckoningChasm

“‘Hey, this strip is going to run just a couple days after the superbowl, do you think a football ref–‘ ‘No.’” –pugfuggly

“Clothes are a thing in the Shoeniverse but nobody confronts Shoe over his constant nudity. I can only assume they live in so much fear of this cloacahole’s newspaper destroying them that they just let him get away with everything short of murder. When someone like that walks naked as the day he hatched into your office, you’re not going to ask him to put out a cigar.” –Tabby Lavalamp

Arctic Circle has been a long-running experiment to find out under what circumstances you can depict the act of motorboating a woman’s breasts in the newspaper. Turns out you can, as long as the motorboater is a penguin and the motorboatee has seven fingers.” –Schroduck

“There are food dishes you can have fun writing words in sauce on top of, and there are food-wrapped-in-bread solutions that may permit the Earl of Sandwich to eat one-handed with a minimum of complications whilst indulging in his gambling addiction unimpeded, but the overlap between those two is clearly nonexistent. I’m sorry Blondie, but this is literally not a sandwich. And come to think, it looks about the size and shape of a double decker pizza? Why not call it that? Surely that’s the sort of novel food monstrosity Dagwood loves.” –Amelie Wikström

“The position of Cookie’s head bothers me. Is she part owl?” –Pozzo

“Like the mighty python, Keith can take days or even weeks to digest disappointing news.” –Voshkod

“LET’S CHECK IN ON JUNE’S ‘AUNT’ TILDY AND HER HUSBAND ‘THE COUNT’. SEE IF THEY’RE DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING. OH, THEY AREN’T. STILL, WORTH IT FOR THE ‘SCARE QUOTES’.” –Applemask

“‘How relaxed and open my neighbor has become,’ thought Mary. Carlos Alora had warned her about this — the decrepit sewage system at Charterstone wasn’t prepared for such frequent use. ‘These muffins ought to help him become a little more … constrained,’ she cackled softly, to no one at all.” –But What Do I Know?

“Mary will bring muffins. She will bring muffins and remind Keith that there is no objective reality. So what if Sonia is not his biological daughter. He has raised this adult for nearly a few months and even ruined a relationship. She’s as much his daughter as Keith is now Mary’s son.” –moscowtheclown

“Since Marvin’s mom has apparently abandoned a toddler in a public place, I think putting him in a red snowsuit is kind of burying the lede in terms of parental cruelty.” –Rube

“The Perfesser’s subsequent creativity was limited to donning purple leg warmers. What a feeling!” –nescio

“I like Gertie’s exclamation point in the last panel. ‘Yeah, your uncle refused life-providing sustenance, but I figured it was just a whim. But you’re saying it’s an indication that the news deeply troubled him? I never would have realized!’” –Westing1992

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!