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It’s Friday, it’s COTW time, let’s get all comment of the week up in here!

“Gasoline Alley is really adamant about stating and restating Ida Noe’s central gimmick (She’s a magic doll!) despite the fact that it is easily the most memorable and straightforward bit in the entire strip. ‘Got it, talking doll, magical I assume? Great. Now remind me again which of these one hundred lumpy townies are actually from the 1930s and which ones just seem like they are based on general vibe.’” –BananaSam

And here are your very funny runners up!

“I was sure that the answer was going to be something like ‘Reeky Rat, as the name suggests, is a filthy rodent who would never voluntarily bathe or shower, except maybe to cover up a crime.’ But yeah, window condensation too, I guess.” –pugfuggly

“What’s that in Rex’s carefully-held-offscreen glass? Prune juice, of course, the better to keep you regular and on a schedule unlike certain mountainous roots-country stars we could mention.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Love Slylock’s expression here. He genuinely CANNOT believe that someone thought they could invoke basic civil rights in his presence. Reeky will learn otherwise when Slylock drowns him in his own bathtub and writes it off as a heart attack on his report.” –ectojazzmage

“Jimmy and I never lived out our dreams to travel the world because his heart gave out due to job stress. That’s not how it was meant to be! He was supposed to have a heart attack next to me while we climbed a monument in South-East Asia!” –Ettorre

“Having thought it over, Stell realized that literally anyone who isn’t Wilbur is worth marrying.” –Craig!

“Yes, Mary, I miss the rush of my Obsessive-Compulsion Disorder in making wedding plans. Now I see the light! The light at the end of the tunnel/hallway I’ll go down to Ed’s animal operating room and say our vows as he euthanizes someone’s (hopefully a guest) dear pet!” –SabeHombre

“Copy/pasting the same image of Snuffy into both panels had some unintended consequences. Not only is Snuffy fishing in Silas’ store but I genuinely couldn’t parse what Snuffy’s can of worms was in this new context. A smashed trophy? A repulsive flesh-colored hat? An idol of some monstrous three-headed hillbilly god?” –Victor Von

“Mary and Stell froze. The dog had just said ‘woof.’ Not barked, but clearly enunciated the word ‘woof.’ Both women started to slowly back away as, half a mile away, Wilbur cursed himself. Half a million dollars on that dog bot, and I blew it by saying ‘woof,’ he thought in despair.” –Voshkod

“Culture has been frozen in time for the last 15-20 years or so, which is pretty helpful for the blissfully out-of-touch old men who make up most of the comic strip industry. Momma was referencing Taylor Swift a decade ago, Apartment 3-G did Beyoncé in 2010, and yet somehow these are two reasonable celebrities for tweens in 2024 to reference. For reference, this is like if Gasoline Alley in 2004 had some little kids think the biggest stars were Cyndi Lauper and Whitney Houston.” –Schroduck

“Oh man, I can’t wait for the new TikTok viral fad, inevitably called The Wilson Sit: Right arm tucked behind your back, left hand resting on your hips, ankles crossed. I urge you to try it yourself, Curmudgeonites! I’m doing it right now (while dictating this comment, obviously), and it’s … weird!” –els

“I like to think they’re just reading an ordinary book and Dennis is making this observation out of the blue.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“‘Our teacher wants us to write about the planets an’ stars.’ ‘Stars like Gloria Swanson and Josephine Baker?’ ‘Oh, right, you were born in 1918, just like this comic strip.’ ‘Yes, which is why I also believe that the Milky Way galaxy encompasses the entire universe, because we didn’t have any scientific method of observing space any farther away!’ ‘Oh, I get it — you’re not dumb, you’re just really old!’ ‘Good job … you’ve finally figured out the true meaning of Gasoline Alley!’” –TD

“‘I’m a magic doll! I can do anything!’ ‘Can you fix our eyes so the villagers stop calling us hideous monsters and forming hunting parties to kill us?’ ‘…I can do almost anything!’” –jroggs

“I think these kids’ next magic school assignment needs to be ‘learn where the library is.’” –Banana Jr. 6000

“There’s a reason his name isn’t ‘Supportive Guy Tracy.’” –picoxorsepulveda, on Bluesky

“A confused Joey thinks, ‘Wait. Is taking a selfish another phrase for going number 2? There’s so much to learn.’” –Hibbleton

“How fiendishly clever is that? Strap a mirror to your face and anyone who wants to shoot you or arrest is, at most extreme, ‘All right, come peacefully, me — I mean you — wait a minute…’ and at the very least they’ll hesitate for an uncomfortable ‘I can’t shoot this guy, there’s something I like about him’ moment.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I feel like Margaret should be correct in an insufferable way, like ‘reminding the teacher they forgot to assign homework,’ not correct in a wholly relatable way, like ‘knowing that nobody wants to see a photo of Joey.’” –Dan

“Wa! Since I live on the floor and no one is watching me, that huge, heavy cookie jar at the edge of the counter could easily fall on my head! Which probably means the cabinet under the sink here with all the cleaning supplies doesn’t have a childproof lock, so at least I’ll get to taste something today!” –BigTed

“The bar floozy is sporting the rarely documented Viking Mullet. Pillaging in the front, party in the back!” –astroboy

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Beetle Bailey, 10/18/24

This Beetle Bailey honestly feels kind of grim to me, as banal as it seems on the surface. Sure, Sarge is joking around with Beetle in a way that alludes, in a vaguely threatening manner, to the power he holds over his subordinates, as is his wont, but he’s not glowering or even looking up from his paperwork to make eye contact as he does it. Instead, he’s efficiently taking care of some of his less glamorous duties as a non-commissioned officer and not getting overly emotionally involved in Beetle’s day-to-day life. Maybe all the work he did with Dr. Bonkus on his anger issues finally paid off.

Hi and Lois, 10/18/24

Sorry, Trixie! You’re damned to eternal infancy, and while your baby’s brain may somehow generate adult-level cognition, you will never develop even rudimentary speech capabilities. That means you can’t engage in sophisticated bargaining with your brother in scenarios like this. Thought balloons won’t cut it!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/18/24

Uhhh, no? Because it’s facing the other way? And because of gravity? Idiot.

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Dick Tracy, 10/17/24

One of the subtler conundrums created by the “comic-book time” phenomenon is the question of how the characters themselves experience it. Like, is Dick Tracy a guy in his late 40s or early 50s who’s been battling weird deformed gangsters for a couple decades? Or did he, like the comic that bears his name, come into existence in 1938, meaning that he’s been at this longer than most of us have been alive, and he’s tired, so tired, of these weirdos’ whole deal? His attitude in today’s strip really suggests the latter. “Oh, what’s that, is there a new hitman in town? A real freak with a mirror for a face who calls himself Mr. Mirror? Should I get excited? Scared? Should I even bother pulling my gun out of my pocket? No, go ahead and answer that call, I can wait.”

Dennis the Menace, 10/17/24

There’s a lot that bugs me about the characterization of Margaret in Dennis the Menace, but a big one is that they need to decide which misogynist stereotype she is exactly. Is she a prissy, humorless, controlling know-it-all and shrew? Or is she empty-headed, vapid, and vain? I feel she veers wildly from lane to lane and they need to pick one.

Hi and Lois, 10/17/24

Ha ha, yes, the teens! The teens are the ones with the phone problem! Definitely not me, a 50-year-old man, or adults younger than me, or adults older than me! None of us have unhealthy relationships with our devices, and definitely social gatherings of mature adults feature exactly as much staring at small screens with varying degrees of surreptitiousness as they did 15 years ago! It’s the teens, I tell ya, the teens!