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Comics archive! Heathcliff

Many tiny wisecracks

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Hi and Lois, 10/18/16

Lois, if you’re going to raise expectations like that, shouldn’t you make some minimal effort to meet them?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/18/16

Football penalty flags are yellow. The official isn’t ejecting Bull, he’s giving up.

Mary Worth, 10/18/16

Mary suggested Iris should maybe spend a little more time with Tommy. Now she has to settle for a mere week of congratulations, because they squandered the Peace Prize on that Santos dude.

SO UNFAIR.

Heathcliff, 10/18/16

Evolution moves fast chez Heathcliff.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/18/16

I guess it must be far enough down the line for Michelle and Jordan Like the Country to resume flirting. ‘Cause that’s some straight-up banter right there.

Ballard Street, 10/18/16

Too late, by decades.

Mark Trail, 10/18/16

“Cannot … suppress … Nature facts!


– Uncle Lumpy

Nerd irritation

Funky Winkerbean, 4/21/16

[extremely science nerd voice] Excuse me Tony, but while it is true that Mercury experiences temperature extremes, the theory that you seem to be referencing here, that one side of the planet is always pointed at the sun and the other always pointed away, was disproved way back in 1965, as anyone who actually watches the Science Channel would know and … oh, no, I’m wasting my life.

Herb and Jamaal, 4/21/16

[extremely newspaper comics nerd voice] Excuse me, but everyone who reads this strip knows that Jamaal actually lives upstairs from a laundromat, so it would be highly illogical for him to refer to a “neighborhood” laundromat when he could just wash his clothes and annoy women in his own … oh, no, I’m doing it again.

Heathcliff, 4/21/16

I honestly think that “I don’t like that” should replace “I’m thinking of unfriending him on Facebook” as the go-to punchline for every Heathcliff ever. It’s less specific, but I guarantee it will literally always make sense.

Sunday quickies

Heathcliff, 3/6/16

Right there in the third panel of the middle row is where Heathcliff straight-up murders a fish. I love its facial expression — not terror, but grim resignation. “Welp,” it seems to be thinking, “I guess I should’ve done more with my life. Too late now!”

Dennis the Menace, 3/6/16

Dennis sure has been on a reign of defecatory terror lately. Money? Art? All the things that separate us from the animals? Dennis will crap on it. Dennis will crap on all of it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/6/16

“I’ve never lived anywhere else! And neither will you, now! You can’t leave the property! There’s a curse!”

Panel from Hi and Lois, 3/6/16

ha ha ha punk rock dude, you’re in a band that plays Eagles covers