Apartment 3-G, 3/28/15
I guess I’ve sort of resigned myself to the notion that Apartment 3-G is now a perpetually vague dreamscape where odd things blandly happen for no particular reason and subject to no human logic. Anyway, is Margo’s ex-boyfriend Greg still James Bond? Is Eon Productions starting production of the next Bond film without announcing the lead actor, even to his co-stars? Will Bond just be inserted into the movie in post-production, via the same advanced green-screen technology that allowed the Owen Wilson-voiced Marmaduke to hit William H. Macy in the nuts, twice? Has Skyler just answered a Craigslist ad for a “Bond movie” that will turn out to be a porn shoot? Stay tuned!
Wait, is a wrinkle mustache just when your upper lip gets so wrinkly it looks mustache-y? Does this only happen to pluggers? Or do only plugger grandchildren dare to be so rude to their elders?
Mark Trail, 3/28/15
Oh wow so you think big government is going to take care of our beetle problem, huh? NO THANKS LIB!!!!!!!!
Mary Worth, 3/27/15
Hey, guys, remember back in 2009, when Mark and Cherry Trail’s friend Patty kept a deer in her house and it infuriated her violent, jealous husband who slapped her around for it (not pictured) and shot the deer, but then the deer came back for revenge and injured him and they decided to let bygones be bygones and adopt a baby? This was egregious enough to generate actual angry letters to King Features, who said that they “should have done a better job of researching the facts about domestic violence” and “We can only apologize sincerely to the readers of Mark Trail for this oversight and endeavor to be more vigilant in the future.” So I’m hoping this vigilance will result in some negative reprecussions for Adam, whose decision to track down Terry has caused her to burst into tears and run away in panic and that’s before she finds out he’s literally moved into her apartment building? Rather than having Mary gently guide to two of them to the altar? Wait, never mind, this is Mary Worth, we know what they do to stalkers here.
Mark Trail, 3/27/15
In new-look Mark Trail, the only violence will be part of the eternal war of man against bug. Bankrupted by beetles! How humiliating that must be for you, Mark’s Friend With Hair That’s Really Aggressively Retreating At The Temples!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/27/15
Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, M.D., we find out that anyone who dares to inconvenience Sarah Morgan or her entourage in any way gets a MEATY FIST IN THE THROAT. Who exactly are we supposed to be rooting for here again? I mean, in theory I’m against punching as an end game for economic disputes, but the thuggish enforcer of a longtime mob family does make some pretty good points about loyalty and the nature of patron-client relationships here.
Congratulations, Newspaper Spider-Man Comic Strip! You started a Wolverine storyline a full two months after the release of Wolverine: Origins, and an Avengers storyline four months before the release of the first Avengers movie, but now you’re introducing a storyline featuring beloved Avengers character Black Widow a mere five weeks before the release of the new Avengers movie! This is a decent example of cross-platform marketing for Marvel franchises! Spider-Man the character is still hilariously incompetent, of course, but Spider-Man the comic strip is kind of doing its job well for once.
Gil Thorp, 3/27/15
I DID IT EVERYONE
I SUCCESSFULLY PREDICTED THE ENDING OF THIS STORYLINE
WHO ELSE COULD’VE — oh, literally everybody? Oh, OK. Damn it, now I’m mostly just bummed that we didn’t get to see the no doubt hilariously inept Max-Bobby fisticuffs.
Mark Trail, 3/20/15
Hey everybody! This seems as good a time as any to cue you all in the existence of the Adventurers Group, a Facebook group run by new Mark Trail writer/artist and faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader James Allen! James will be posting some behind-the-scenes stuff from the strip in the group, so Mark Trail trufans (which I trust all of you are) will want to check it out. Maybe you can ask how long we’ll get to enjoy this red-hot beaver-on-beaver action in the strip — but no, that’s the sort of magic that can dissipate as soon as you look at it too closely.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/20/15
Oh, man, has the scourge of class warfare stricken Rex Morgan Area High School? It’s like you can’t even have a rich old mobster give you a free enormous SUV that marks you as one of her loyal retainers without some sort of social consequences!
Pluggers are bald, and they also drink themselves to sleep.