Hagar the Horrible, 10/7/12
At last, a definitive answer to the question I’ve been musing on for years: Are Hagar and his entourage Christians or pagans? Hagar, at least, appears to still worship the gods of the old Norse pantheon, as is perhaps befitting for the bloodthirsty leader of a violent war band. Given the lack of intra-Norse civil strife and the friendly relations between Hagar and Brother Olaf, we’ll just have to assume that the action of the strip takes place during one of the more peaceful lulls in Norway’s transition to Christianity, which generally involved one side gaining dominance and attempting to violently suppress the other. Indeed, today’s strip shows how hearts and minds can be changed without use of force, as Hagar begins to question his allegiance to deities that were explicitly believed by their worshippers to not be all-powerful or all-knowing.
Herb and Jamaal, 10/7/12
So I read this strip and thought “Haha, at last, I get to see the moment when Herb and Jamaal goes completely nuts,” but then … it turns out this quote is in fact floating all over the Internet as attributed to Desmond Tutu? There’s never any explanation of the context in which he said it, though, which sets my “let’s attach a quote we like to a random famous person” alarm bells going off. Still, the good Archbishop is a cyclist, so who knows! Anyone who can confirm or deny this quote gets a shiny Internet quarter.
Edited to clarify: The “give a man a fish…” phrase is as old as the hills and clearly not originated by Tutu. I’m specifically wondering if he was the one who turned it into a joke about bicycling.
One of my favorite things about Crankshaft (sorry, don’t have time to figure out all the levels of irony involved in my spontaneous decision to apply the word “favorite” to Crankshaft there) is that even when its characters are just bandying dumb puns back and forth, their facial expressions make it look like they’re the last survivors of a genocidal assault that took their entire families. Normally this is just a result of the vague sense of anxiety and unease that pervades the Funkyverse, but in this case Jeff is probably worried, with some justification, that his wife’s mind is going, and she’ll soon be an irritated, malaprop-spouting shell of her former self, just like her father.
Hagar the Horrible, 9/18/12
We often see the same situations over and over again in Hagar the Horrible, and as I’ve said before, I’ve come to believe that this is because events in the strip are playing out in a nonlinear narrative. Thus, every castle raid shown is really just a different moment in a single castle raid, every strip that features Hagar and Eddie in the dungeon is a different moment in the same stretch of imprisonment, etc. “Hagar and Eddie on a desert island” is another repeating trope, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the rest of the crew of Hagar’s ship similarly marooned with them. Still, I’m going to assume that this is again the same shipwreck, and what we’re seeing here is the early days of their time as castaways, before the turn to cannibalism.
The silent, expressionless way Archie’s mom is staring at her son is pretty harrowing. Don’t complain about static cling, Arch; you’re lucky she can operate the dryer at all, as she appears to have taken many, many quaaludes.
Family Circus, 9/18/12
“Either that or the house is on fire, and the two of us will soon sizzle and cook like bacon in a pan. We’ll just have to wait and see! Have I mentioned that my home life is so oppressive that I don’t care whether I live or die?”
Funky Winkerbean, 9/18/12
“And then, once the paralytic drugs we’ve laced the wedding cake with kick in, we’ll laminate everybody and hang them on walls all over the house! We’ll never be lonely again!”
Mary Worth, 9/18/12
“Take you, for instance! You’re terribly crippled emotionally. I can tell by the way you dress. Which, admittedly, is visible. All too visible, frankly.”
Mark Trail, 9/18/12
HA HA RUSTY YES CRY BITTER, FLESH-COLORED TEARS
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/31/12
Lukey has a rash because he’s been wearing that borrowed suit for a long time without cleaning it, so he has various skin parasites now.
Six Chix, 8/31/12
This office break room is haunted by the ghostly shades of all the people whose murders this hulking woman has covered up.
Hagar the Horrible, 8/31/12
Is Hagar filthy because his wife won’t inspect him closely — or does she refuse to get close enough to examine him because his hygiene is so bad?
Beetle Bailey, 8/31/12
This is one of the oldest, corniest jokes I’ve ever seen on the comics pages, but it’s structured around unlikable bully Sarge writhing around in pain after injuring himself, so I guess I’ll let it pass.