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Archive: Dick Tracy

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MidMarch follies

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Dick Tracy, 3/17/26

Welp, the huge prison riot/jailbreak in Dick Tracy is winding down, with a lot of bad guys on the loose but the authorities regaining control of the facility. Now, there are lots of narrative reasons why we might start with some guards capturing prisoners in an open field, including one guy kneeling with a gun pointed at the back of his head, and then smash cut to a bunch of bodies under sheets in a similar looking field. But as your Comics Curmudgeon who remembers the old days of cartoonish Dick Tracy ultraviolence, I’m kind of required to guess at the grimmest possible narrative reason.

Hi and Lois, 3/17/26

Man, there are a lot of holidays I’m glad we’re not going to see Thirsty celebrating, I’m just gonna leave it at that!

Mary Worth, 3/17/26

“Yes, we certainly do, Toby! Say, how are your parrots doing? You know, the ones that shit everywhere and almost drove you to divorce?”

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Live your life so Mary Worth never bold-face yells “AGE DIFFERENCE?” at you

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Dick Tracy, 2/26/26

The number of human beings who, over the past 18 months or so, have wondered to themselves if minor Dick Tracy villain Silver Nitrate is still having a hard time in prison can probably be counted on one hand, but I assume all those people read my blog and have only come to care because of my occasional efforts to bring the matter to their attention. So anyway, this plot update goes out to all of you Nitrate trufans: the Russians launched a drone attack on a Neo-Chicago prison in order to facilitate a mass jailbreak, and now Silver Nitrate is about to get extremely killed, by a machine gun.

Mary Worth, 2/26/26

“Oh, wow … just 32 and a widow already! You know, most young women don’t really have a sense of how long a man can live, and when they meet one who’s older than them they assume he’s got like 5 or 10 years left in him, tops. Anyway, good for her!”

Blondie, 2/26/26

“Blondie wants Dagwood to prove his humanity by displaying sexual interest in her, and Dagwood doesn’t care if Blondie is a robot or not so long as his dinner is made of real meat” is, uh. It’s a little on the nose, I think.

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Honestly more comics characters should be sent to Donetsk oblast, it’d really shake things up around here

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Gil Thorp, 2/16/26

What’s going on in Gil Thorp? I’m not talking about the day-to-day plot; I’m talking about the near-future background setting, where the heavily armed “New Milford” PD lacks a monopoly on legitimate violence and must negotiate with authorities in schools, which remain separate, self-governed jurisdictions like medieval European universities. I guess we should’ve known that we were dealing with a landscape where centralized constitutional government had broken down completely when it turned out that the local juvenile detention facility doubled as a gladiatorial combat arena.

Dick Tracy, 2/16/26

The “Dick is betrayed by his partner” Dick Tracy storyline has abruptly wrapped up, and now we’re going to smash cut to … the Donbas Front, I guess? Look, the West has been looking for ways to push Russian troops out of Ukraine for years now, and having Dick Tracy shoot them in the back for “resisting arrest” is certainly not the worst idea anyone has come up with.

Mary Worth, 2/16/26

Meanwhile, despite several opportunities, the “Toby and Ian get parrots” Mary Worth storyline has singularly failed to abruptly wrap up, and in fact we seem to have gotten stuck in a “Mary and Jeff enjoy a post-plotline-wrapup at the Bum Boat” loop. Jeff could’ve short-circuited this by choosing his pie “a la mode” as usual and then dying of a massive coronary event, so I guess, against all odds, he’s enjoying this experience, or at least prefers it to death.