Main content:

Comics archive! Dick Tracy

Margo in a coma/ I know, I know/ It’s serious

Dick Tracy, 10/17/15

Oh, so … all the Neo-Chicago police are dirty, not just Sam? I guess this is probably some kind of parallel universe situation where up is down and good is bad. Will “Boss Tracy” have a goatee? Does hair even grow out of his razor-sharp chin?

Apartment 3-G, 10/17/15

Look, Apartment 3-G, you’ve committed to the Big Reveal of this storyline being Margo’s glandular condition, so stop trying to make it seem more bad-ass and metal by throwing around terms like “thyroid storm”. The lack of an article before the phrase makes it extra ominous! Anyway, Margo’s unconscious and Eric’s not a medical professional, but he needs to get out of the blue void he’s currently in and get into the blue void where Margo is — now.

Spider-Man, 10/17/15

Oh man, those bureaucrats at the United Nations just got burned by this scathing “not” joke from Newspaper Spider-Man! Anyway, this paid native viral marketing was a weird way for John Bolton to launch his surprise presidential bid, but I’m not going to tell him how to do his business.

Those pin-hole pupils … he’s hepped up on goofballs, I tells ya

Dick Tracy, 10/16/15

Wait, what? Beloved Dick Tracy sidekick Sam Catchem is suddenly a crazy-eyed, murderous dirty cop now, for values of “murderous” and “dirty” outside even the Tracyverse’s rather expansive ideas of police power? This is a guy who Dick spends Hanukkah with, so he’s gonna feel extra betrayed. Unless … normally Sam wears leprechaun green, but today he’s wearing a purple version of his usual outfit, which could mean this is an “evil twin” situation, or that the colorists just forgot. Sam was impersonated by Putty Puss in the ’80s, and Putty Puss showed up in Current Iteration Dick Tracy back in 2011, but I can’t remember if they caught him or not. Anyway, clearly I am hoping that Things Are Not What They Seem, because as a representative of the Chosen People it would greatly sadden me if yet another comic strip gave in to the stereotype that Jews are all freckled, bowler-hat-wearing policemen working on the side as mob enforcers.

Gasoline Alley, 10/16/15

Oh, good, Skeezix’s stove problem has been fixed by Walt Wallet, a senile World War I veteran. This strip has long faced the difficulty of aging its cast in real-time even though they’ve been in newspapers since the Harding administration, so I commend its creative team for deciding that, instead of having each die in turn of old age, they’re just going to wipe them all out at once in an enormous gas explosion.

Apartment 3-G, 10/16/15

Little-known fact: your thyroid is where your body stores your anxiety about your parents’ relationship. That’s its main function. Think twice about arguing in front of your children, if you care about their glandular health.

There’s nothing that grouchy middle-aged academics like more than surprises

Mary Worth, 10/12/15

Maybe I was a little too hasty in writing off the end of this storyline as a fizzle yesterday. After all, they couldn’t really be setting up the whole rest of the week as some glurgy sentimental reunion of the star-crossed Camerons, could they? I mean, yes, they could, they totally could, but I’m going to chose to read heavily into the surprised angle and hope against hope that this surprise is going to be less than pleasant! Will Ian come stumbling home with his new girlfriend? With his new boyfriend, Hilton Berkes, with Ian’s crush being painfully obvious in retrospect? Will Ian just be so startled by Toby’s presence that he’ll suffer a fatal heart attack, leaving Toby wailing and bereft? Or maybe just a minor cardiac event that will be embarrassing for everyone concerned? Can’t wait!

Dick Tracy, 10/12/15

The fact that Dick Tracy’s Neo-Chicago is apparently in the grip of a multi-week crime wave ought to be proof to anyone that brutal, civil-liberties-violating law enforcement doesn’t actually improve public safety.

Shoe, 10/12/15

Let’s ignore, for the moment, the fact that this joke implies that Mort charges admission to funerals, an innovative but to my knowledge unheard of mortuary business model, and instead focus on the important thing, which is that all of Biz’s friends are dying.